Finally,
mid-semester break is ongoing,
after the completion of Rural Valuation Field Trip,
I left 5 days to break after today.
This morning,
the moment I woke up,
I feel like laying 15 minutes more on my bed since it's a free holidays.
At the meanwhile when I laying on my bed,
I was pondering about the old relationship between me and a less well-off friend,
the first question I thinking in my head was
"Can the rich and poor become a friend in real-life without breaking off relationship?"
"Can the rich and poor become a friend in real-life without breaking off relationship?"
I started to think about who else is less well-off in my peer circle (besides than the girl I mentioned above)?
I relate to a few friends who still remained quite close to me,
3 guys and 1 girl whom are not so rich,
then I think I'm wrong, they are considerably more than average,
if not they wouldn't have enough of funds to live in Australia,
their parents are just running small businesses,
but are capable to afford them for luxurious education,
another one, her parents are both educators in Malaysia,
but able to live in a golf-club in Malaysia.
I guessed they are more than average I think.
Besides than these few people,
the rest of my friends are no longer purely above-average,
but either wealthy or super-wealthy.
Actually,
I don't like to talk about 'wealth' among a pool of people,
because the topic of wealth makes the rich and poor divided,
but still, I would love to keep in touch with at least one or two people from different background,
because i love their culture of simplicity,
the culture of wearing shorts and plain tee shirt, immerse in the mamak, and have different kind of mindset.
I really wish to have one or two poor friends,
but I can't manage to get one.
But,
I met someone whom I really wish to get in touch,
she comes from a completely different world from me,
we interact differently, dress differently, think differently, have contrary peer circle, and live a different lifestyle.
I wish to helped her; boost her confidence, try to improve her mindset, and help her financially,
but at the end,
I realised what I did don't work out,
this make me annoyed sometimes,
but a very close friend advised me
"not to keep in touch with this kind of person whom wont appreciate what you did to her, since she doesnt contribute or benefit you anything, just left her behind your life"
I know, indeed,
fact goes that way,
I myself thinking that way in my heart too,
"she is nothing to me, leaving her just make my life and more comfortable",
but sometimes,
the attraction of going back to her happened!
My best friend suggested me
"If you really wish to make friends with one or two poor friends, then just go and find a new one, not every poor behaved like her, some poor are really adhering to moral principles"
Now,
I'm still enclosing myself in the midst of income disparity,
I feel a little bit trouble of communicating with people who comes from different background.
Yet, I'm finding a solution to the problem from Google,
how to deal with people who comes from different background,
"can rich mix with the poor"?
No, they can't. The rich will dominate the poor and there will be a lot of resentment no matter how much money the rich one gives to the poor. Rich and poor are two totally different worlds. The rich have to stick to their own kind.
And this is the result I gotten,
I feel so frightening when I read this,
the answer exactly reflect our situation.
I really poured out a lot of money on her; trying to help her financial situation, hope that she can lives better, but at the end,
resentment is what I gotten in between us.
I don't hate her, but I think jealousy dominates her heart,
and thus it lead to psychological imbalance rather than resentment.
But, to be frankly,
I personally think that I did not dominate her,
although I'm quite dominating at times,
what I wanted, is just a true and real friendship which we can absolutely 'talk' about the income gap.
And I strongly believe, two friends who can't speak about 'income gap',
their chance of friendship survival wouldn't even success at all.
It's easy to like one another across economic lines, but it's difficult to hang out and really develop a freindship simply because one party can't travel and dine with the other...can't afford it.
And yeah, this is so true,
it's very easy to like/loves someone who came from another economic life,
but it's difficult to interact and even develop a friendship easily because one party is totally out of affordability.
But,
when I read the third opinions,
I started to feel more about her feeling and situations,
now I feel that she's so pity after reading,
perhaps in her heart, she think i'm sort of bossy girl.
If not, this poor girl wouldn't even write this as her opinions.
For me personally it’s sometimes hard to be friends with some of those who grew up rich, especially when I am under financial pressure / working hard on a project. The rich just sometimes can’t understand that your appetite for risk is quite low when you have less than 1 000 (of any currency) in your bank account, and that if you make a mistake, there is no safety net, or family to help you out. The only poverty they experienced is when their allowances got cut and their parents felt they should experience not having access to everything for a year or two (before bringing them back in from the cold).<br />
<br />
Most frustrating is when they try to compare careers and try to convince you that they had it just as hard as you, and that you should really be able to be as financially secure as they are. They forget the private school, the international holidays, loans, the expert advice, the access to daddy’s business network/partners, access to capital, investment tips, the way doors and jobs open for you if your father is important – I think rich fathers try to not show how much they are helping their kids, but it can give rise to brats who really believe they “made it on their own”.<br />
<br />
Also they can’t understand that one can work hard and not make millions. “You are so clever and you are working all the time, I can’t understand why you are not rich?” With lots of knowledge one can gain money, but with a little knowledge and lots of money, you can make even more money than the clever guy – I think that is actually how it works. Hanging out with other brats these inconsistencies will never be exposed, but the moment they start hanging out with real “middle-class” people, whenever they try to show how “real” they are it just shows how large the value gaps are.<br />
<br />
Lots of rich people (especially 2nd / 3rd gen) are rich because they are actually quite lazy, and mostly use their money to make more money for them – they will tell you they are working hard, but most of the time it would be the money, their positioning or their network doing the work – when you are doing big deals with large amounts, you only need a couple of them – and you always get a bonus.<br />
<br />
I find rich people taking up too much of my time, picking my brain for interesting facts, introducing them to cool new things & ideas, hanging out at my place (when they are supposed to be working), I guess I make them feel like they know “real” people, but the moment they start wanting to “help” me, it just shows me how little they know about how average people make it in the world.<br />
<br />
The root of it, is that some of the rich in their secret hearts believe a different set of morals and values apply to them, and that playing by our middle-class rules is just silly, since we haven’t “seen the bigger picture”. Sometimes these 1-dimensional motivations will only be revealed once you become close friends with this person – and that could spell the end.
<br />
Most frustrating is when they try to compare careers and try to convince you that they had it just as hard as you, and that you should really be able to be as financially secure as they are. They forget the private school, the international holidays, loans, the expert advice, the access to daddy’s business network/partners, access to capital, investment tips, the way doors and jobs open for you if your father is important – I think rich fathers try to not show how much they are helping their kids, but it can give rise to brats who really believe they “made it on their own”.<br />
<br />
Also they can’t understand that one can work hard and not make millions. “You are so clever and you are working all the time, I can’t understand why you are not rich?” With lots of knowledge one can gain money, but with a little knowledge and lots of money, you can make even more money than the clever guy – I think that is actually how it works. Hanging out with other brats these inconsistencies will never be exposed, but the moment they start hanging out with real “middle-class” people, whenever they try to show how “real” they are it just shows how large the value gaps are.<br />
<br />
Lots of rich people (especially 2nd / 3rd gen) are rich because they are actually quite lazy, and mostly use their money to make more money for them – they will tell you they are working hard, but most of the time it would be the money, their positioning or their network doing the work – when you are doing big deals with large amounts, you only need a couple of them – and you always get a bonus.<br />
<br />
I find rich people taking up too much of my time, picking my brain for interesting facts, introducing them to cool new things & ideas, hanging out at my place (when they are supposed to be working), I guess I make them feel like they know “real” people, but the moment they start wanting to “help” me, it just shows me how little they know about how average people make it in the world.<br />
<br />
The root of it, is that some of the rich in their secret hearts believe a different set of morals and values apply to them, and that playing by our middle-class rules is just silly, since we haven’t “seen the bigger picture”. Sometimes these 1-dimensional motivations will only be revealed once you become close friends with this person – and that could spell the end.
Well,
it's time to start showering now.
Bid-bye bloggie.
Will write more when I need to :)
