Danger approaching

Phobia...?

Danger...?

Delusions...?

All of these mixed feeling came to me again,

I can't imagine that I just safely live for one or two years,

and the danger is coming soon.

I really scared, I can't imagine the hurts and pain would come to me when the time arrives,

I hate December, I'm afraid of December, especially the day after the last day of December,

I'm even afraid of next year,

I wish that she still who she is,

I wish that security can stay with me longer.

I'm afraid of smile, afraid of approaching,

afraid of hand, afraid of someone holding my wrist,

 afraid of being touched

afraid of bench, afraid of violence,

and afraid of those things that shouldn't be afraid.

I thought that I'm on the road of recovery as what she said,

but I guessed, when I perceived all these feeling,

I am not at all.

I experienced confusion, cold hands and feet, heart palpitation, severe nightmares and becoming mad recently.

I know, this day will still happen anyway.

Good bye bright world, hello my dull world.