Tomorrow,

it's a brand new semester of my degree second year.

Time flies,

I been survived alone and striving so hard in Australia all the way.

It's time to bid-bye to degree first year.

First year life wasn't bad,

academically proud in the eyes of peer.

Shopped a lot, played a lot, relax a lot and the most unforgetably is midnight oil burned a lot.

But nobody knows the amount of midnight oil I sacrificed for exam.

 

People wondered why I played a lot and shopped everyday but still attained better result than them?

People at the back thought I relied my little intelligence to achieved flying colours,

but frankly speaking,

everyone has almost the equal intelligence,

people who succeed usually got their bitter taste on their initial step.

Just like what I always told Hung Kiat,

"Exam is just like that, you never study, you don't even saw the thing in the book, how you gonna answer in the exam? Because you dont even see what... for example, just like a top student, you dont give him a book to study and ask him straight take a test, you see whether he can answer the question or not? Or let say a baby, if I never tell him 3+2=5, you think he will own self know 3+2=5?'

 

 

 

 

Sometimes,

I really blamed Hung Kiat for not studying hard during his SPM.

Now when I asked him come along with me for studying at Australia,

and when we already planned well everything,

tuition fees isn't a big deal for him.

But,

the ultimate blockage is his result.

I got pissed off with him,

I said

'I dont care, I want means want! I want you to come means I want.'
 

He said

'Sorry lah Clar, not I dont want, is my results cant.'

Somehow,

I don't really know why I am so stubborn and irrational,

it's a clearly impossible thing but my mouth still said 'want'.

I felt like I really had a certain similar characteristic with my bestie Emily.

Last time when Randy can't even sing Chinese song at all,

but she still persisted him to sing.

Perhaps,

we are seeking an impossible fact?

You say right or not? Emily Law :D

 

 

Anyway,

the result fact is still uncheageable,

although how I kicked, how I screamed, how I throw tantrum, how I said I wanna break off with him,

the fact is written clearly on the entry requirement.

I knew my angry is always momentarily,

Hung Kiat knew too.

That is why he wouldn't afraid I angry when he understand me more.

He only always told me

'Sorry lah Clar, because last time I never listen in class mah.'

I said

'You never listen in class, then you think I got listen in class? I everyday walked around the school, why I can? You never walk around the school, why you cant? Everything study at home 1 mah... where got say whether got listen or no listen ones?'

He said

'Sorry lah Clar, I dont know mah... last time when I start study, when opened book, dont know why my eyes will began to close?'

I said

'Why? You eat hyponotics ah?'

He said

'Sorry lah Clar, I also dont know why automatic ones... then that time I think after SPM, I will hold my father business edi, then I never think of study edi.'

I said

'Why? Think own self rich kid then no need to study dy lah?'

He said

'No lah... that time never think so much la, just think of 100% sure hold my father business ones mah.... then think never study also never mind.'

I said

'Wait wait wait... that time you not told me your mum everyday asked you study ones meh? If you everyday study, will got this result meh?'

He said

'The time when my mum asked me to study, I never read, I just sit there only.'

I said

'Sit there for what? Wait vege drop down from sky ah?'

He said

'No la, sorry lah Clar.'

I said

'I dont care I want you retake SPM.'

He said

'Can like that ones meh?'

I said

'Can, pay money lo... but even you restudy SPM and retake SPM, got time meh? SPM covered so many topics... at least also need to take one year to study, plus so many subjects, you think you few months can gao tim ah? Then if after you study and take exam also already too late, because after that one or two year, you only admit into Uni only. Its too late already.'

He said

'Besides than Uni, Australia dont have any academy meh? Lower requirement one.'

I said

'Got, Tee Syi Rui's school lo... Le Cordon Bleu academy... lower requirement also need at least 3 credits... you B also dont have, who wants you?'

He said

'Then I go MMU lo...'

I said

'MMU also need 5 credits... that is why I told you everywhere is almost the same one, but just Australia maybe higher a bit only, like 7 credits. But also plus minus around there, wont go until 10 credits ones...'

He said

'You got how many credits?'

I said

'All credits lah...'

He said

'You took how many subjects?'

I said

'11'

He said

'Ohhhh....'

I said

'OHHHHHHH.....'

(Imitate him)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I told Tee Syi Rui that I really angry Hung Kiat,

I told her about how's our conversation,

she keep laughing at me!

She said the way I talked to Hung Kiat is really fierce!
 

I asked her why fierce?

She said

'Hahaha! The most funny is when Hung Kiat told you when he saw book, he wants to sleep, you asked him: Why? You ate hypnotics ah? Hahahaha!!!! You are too fierce!'

I said

'Hahaha maybe I used to already, I always scolded him using sacarstic one.'

She said

'Then normally how he responsed?'

I said

'Just said sorry only lo... because the things I said is always made people speechless, dont know how to react me hahaha....'

She even asked me

'Haiz... dont know when only your hyperactive can recover?'

I said

'You mean talk like that got related to hyperactive?'

She said

'Maybe a little bah...'

I said

'Why? Scold people also means hyperactive?'

She said

'Agitated bah?'

I said

'I also dont know why I am like that, sometimes I am really calm, but sometimes once my temper outburst, I will scold very fast that type ones... scold very fast plus cant stop. I can scold continously for 1 minute. Then after I scolded, I cant remember what I scold. Got one time, the mobile store salesman lost my phone sim card, I also scolded like that non stop till 1 min, then frightened all the customesr, workers and the boss.'

When I said like that,

she can't stop laughing.

She said

'Hahaha! You very scary! Walk until where also people will scared of you. Mou tin tin hyperactive outburst!'
 

I said

'Why you laughed till like that? Very funny meh? When I told my mum about this, I said I very angry, then I cant stop scolding the worker till 1 minute, after I scold finished, I said : Ask your boss come out. Then my mum, my two sisters and younger brother keep laughing very loud. Why like that very funny?'

She said

'Hahaha! Ya la! Very funny. Because we understand you hyperactive, so we can imagined the situation. So very funny.'

I asked

'Why funny? For example?'

She said

'I dont know how to explain, but I can imagine, very funny. Hahaha! Ask your boss come out.... then the boss got come out or not?'

I said

'The boss just standing beside him, I dont know thats boss at the beginning, because he keep quiet aside when I scolding the worker.'

She said

'Hahaha! I think you so ganas the boss also scared of you edi...'

I said

'I think I not very fierce, and I think I just using normal scolding speed to deal with the worker. But after I went off the shop, Carol said I very fast. She said I fast till maybe people dont know what I scolding.'

Tee Syi Rui even nodded her head and said

'Hahahahaha!!! I think is possible from what Carol said.'

I said

'And she said I very agitated, but I dont think so.'

She asked

'The worker is Chinese or Local?'

I said

'Hong Kong people....'

She said

'You scolded him using what language?'

I said

'English. Because I cant speak Cantonese, and I know if I speak in Mandarin, sure he can talk back me. So used his third language, not Cantonese, not Mandarin. So this is the only way to make him cant talk back as fast as me.'

When I said like that,

Tee Syi Rui even laughed at me!

She said

'Hahaha! Cunning ah you... like this also can let you think of.'

I joked and said

'Haiz.... I hyperactive, got what things I cant think of? haha!'

  

 

Well,

stop talking that much rubbish about my personalities.

The truth is tomorrow gonna schoo reopen for a brand new semester.

Challenge coming and new friends will be met.

But I hope, I dont really want to have so many fresh friends.

I wanna be alone, shop a lot, spend more time alone, do my things alone.

I have my own private house, I dont really want people to come.

I want my own little world :D

I feel so contented to have my own place despite the whole housechores are mine.

I've mopped the second time after I moved in, cleaned toilet for twice, cooked by my own and vacuum my own living place. 

 

 

 

Today,

many people have shocked about my behavior.

Because Miss Clarissa had started to cook!

Two people talked about the same thing but different stories.

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 They commented about 'Kakak first' :X

I used to be a princess at home,

I used to ordered my subordinates to do things!

'Kak! Mari.'

'Kak! Masak ini.'

'Kak! Ambil barang saya sini.'

'Din, cuci kereta saya.'

'Din, nanti bawa kereta saya pergi service.'

'Din, nanti pukul 3pm balik rumah bawa saya pergi Dataran.' 

 

 

Never and ever I will use a word of 'please' or 'tolong',

my manners are always command instead of request.

I wouldn't do small things by my own as I already used to that kind of lofty status.

When my maid never fulfill my needs; such as doing something wrong.

I will end up telling her

'Bodoh' or 'Macam ini pun tak tau'

Definitely,

a driver won't be late,

when I say 10am sharp, means 10am sharp.

I already used to that kind of routine.

So whenever Hung Kiat just slightly late;

when he told me he had customers or traffic jam,

I would started to kick or yell when I see him.

This my unchangeable princess's temper :(

 

Because I can't accept he is late; I dont really know why he is late and I can't understand the situation.

 

 

When I go out, for the people who knew who I am,

people will treat me as VIP, let me skip my queue and said

'Anak Datuk dulu.'


 

In fact,

this had indeed happened in school canteen and outside the school.

Or when millions of people queueing for free foods,

lining up since morning till afternoon just for a plate of simple dish.


 

But,

I could walked through red carpet and get the foods without waiting a single second.

 

Since young,

mummy knew I disliked attend the crowd due to impatience.

I said

'So many people, I dont want to go, later have to wait.'

Mummy will said

'No need to wait, we are VIP. Straight go in one. And ours are fine dining buffet. The dishes are different than normal one.'
 

When all these bits and pieces sum up,

all these has been bring up my impatience all the way.

Truthfully,

I began to developed princess syndrome since young.

So whenever Hung Kiat never fulfill my needs, the same thing,

I would also behaved the same way,

telling him

'Stupid' or 'Like this also dont know'.

 

 

 

 

 

So, for me,

I think surviving oversea alone is the best choice for me,

it made me to feel the equality within swarm.

It made me independant, forget the past and learned a lot of things here without my parents.

Indeed,

this is a reallyt good oppurtunities.

I learn to feel how a civilian feels,

learn to do a basic stuff like cooking and cleaning although it's kinda stress for me.

 

Random people will think that's common sense chore,

but for a person with totally no basic of doing house chores.

That's really physically burnout and ardous.

No matter how hard I mopped it, it's always uncleaned and had a sense of dusty.

No matter how many times I cleaned it, I still think it's imperfect.

No matter how many times I cooked, I still think it weren't yummy.

No matter how many times I tried, my house chore ability still the same.

 

Can't you see that I am trying so hard even just for a simple task?

Don't say cooking, even get a knife out from a new plastic is so tough for me.

 

Imagined I opened this with a pair of scissor for 20 minutes and imagined the process I hold a knife,

chopped the big cabbage and used my own bare hands slowly pulled it into tiny pieces. 


Chopping the really small and round onions into slices.
It so called 'eyesight challenging' :D
I really took the knife carefully and chopped it down.
Luckily my fingers weren't hurt and cut at all.

From surfed the net to get a simple cooking recipe to accordingly mixing up multi-oils into a cup.

 

From heating the pan to pouring oil,

from stiring the frying onions to get oil scalding on hand,

from pouring the cabbage into frying cabbage.

The process is really ardous and uneasy.

I almost cried when I saw this,


because I did attempted many times for steaming a bowl of rice.
so far, no once become rice.
And this time,
when I opened up the lid,
I was so surprised, I jumped up and hooray alone!






Honestly, this is the first time. 

I praised myself it's really nice.
Both rice and dishes that I cook.
Even it's not delicious like what I always eaten in restaurant but at least it wasn't taste bad.


 

I normally straight forward and wouldn't cheat myself.

If it's bad, I usually straight throw it away like last time.

But this time, I finished all.

I don't really know whether I am over tired for doing all chores since the very morning call till the late evening?

 

 



 

 

SIGH ! FORGET ABOUT IT!

I STILL WANT TO BE A LITTLE RAINING PRINCESS AT HOME.

 

 

 

 

 



Just a moment ago,

did some scholarly research on Google.

It seemed so interesting,

reading some stories and facts about personalities.

Randomly typed some strange key words to get some unusual stories.

Subsequently,

 Google engine automatically appeared 

'what does hand writing and signature reveal about you',

it's a sort of horoscope personality telling?

Uttered some laughter as reading enjoyment.

If the signature is about the same as the rest of the writing in its size, slant, pressure, and style the person will behave the same in public as in private. They don’t need to put up a mask to show something they are not when around others and with them what you see is what you get.

Sometimes you’ll see a signature that is slightly larger than the body of the writing which signifies that the writer has a healthy self esteem and confidence when around others.

When the signature is much larger than the writing, the author wants to be seen and heard wherever he goes. In actuality he feels a little small inside and therefore he tries to appear extra big to compensate for his insecurities. It is the same principle as in life: if someone constantly brags about his conquests in public, you can be sure that it is for the sole purpose of overcompensating for his doubts about himself in those very areas.

A signature that is smaller than the body of writing indicates insecurity. This person tends to be shy and would rather be in the shadows in a social situation. Getting attention is not on his list. 

How about two different styles in writing: the body is right slanted, while the signature is vertical? Right slanted writing signifies someone who freely expresses emotional feelings, is affectionate and passionate. A vertical slant is used by people who are always in control, level headed, and show no emotion. Well, his signature is his public persona, so he will appear cool and collected to strangers, acquaintances, and coworkers, while at home (body of writing) he’ll be warm and tender with his family.

Now, how about the opposite: vertical writing with right slanted signature? This writer will be fun to be around, the kind of guy you want to take to every party, but at home he’ll be distant and not easy to approach.

I’m sure that you have encountered the following quite often: legible writing with a scribbled signature; this person wants to make sure that you will be clear about what is written, but would rather not communicate anything about himself. This will be seen in people who are not in a direct relationship with you and always in a hurry, i.e. doctors. Now, when you get a note like that from someone you know and that signature is at a distance from the rest of the writing, you can be pretty sure that the writer does not want to even be associated with the text written above, this is often seen in “Dear John” letters.

Now to the opposite: the body of writing is scribbled so you cannot make out what it says even if you tried, but the signature is clear as water. This writer does not care about conveying his thoughts to the reader, all he cares about is himself and he wants to make a big impression. Those people tend to be egotistic.

How about when both the body and the signature are illegible? This person does not really want to communicate his thoughts to you and does not want you to get to know him either. This individual might be going through some sadness in his life and does not want outside influences. He writes but is careless about anyone reading it. He’d rather be non-communicative.

An ascending signature (climbing up a hill) shows a person with a positive self image who is energetic and enthusiastic. If the body of writing is leveled, but the signature is climbing, you can be sure that he feels good about the image he is projecting.

On the contrary, a descending signature (climbing down the hill), represents depression and disappointment. When you see a woman writing only her last name going down, it is only that part of her life that she is disappointed and disillusioned with. If a man writes his last name going down (or much smaller in size than his first name) there is disappointment and negative feelings about his father figure.

Rarely people would underline their signature, but those who do express a healthy self esteem and positive reaffirmation of themselves and are content with what they do and who they are. When you see one underline, you are dealing with a person who is confident, with two underlines, someone who has the strength, determination, dedication, motivation, and emotional stamina to achieve just about anything they want in life. These people also strongly believe that they deserve only the best things in life and they will relentlessly strive until they achieve all their goals.

On the opposite, those who make something of a long funnel looking zig-zag under their names doubt their own importance, but at least try to appear as if they were someone much more significant in the public eye.

Maybe you encountered a signature that is scored (a line runs through it), that shows a person with desires to self-destruct. When the writer made this line he felt anger and tension at this moment. Sometimes the scoring goes just through one part of the name. If its in the first name, he feels frustration toward himself. When you see it in the last name only, it signifies anger toward the father, or the person who carries that last name. Very seldom you’d see a name that is totally crossed out, this person does not want to exist anymore.

If you see someone’s signature that is underscored with a wavy line, he (or she, since it is more often seen in women) is rather lively, silly, and fun to be around. It is also a sign of someone who likes to flirt.

Overly large signature (check out some movie stars, politicians, and musicians) is a sign of someone who wants to be in the center of attention with the light shining on them. They desire to be famous and admired. They are proud and have an inflated ego (just like their writing).

Most of the time you’ll see a signature placed on the right of the page, but sometimes it is in the center. These people want to be in the middle of everything that’s going on. They want to know what’s going on all the time, every time. If it is placed to the left (as in a formatted letter) he is doubtful about his public persona. The left side represents wanting to stay in the past and the familiar and this person would rather stay with what he is used to and not leave his comfort zone.

Last but not least is a creative signature (check out Walt Disney and Edgar Allan Poe). It takes a courageous, self assured (but not arrogant) person to add some extra touches to his signature (flourishes for example). It is a sign of creativity, but if you see objects (Liberace used to sketch a piano under his name) being drawn in/near a signature (clubs, money signs, faces) it is time to run away. Those people may be dealing with some deeper personal issues with which you don’t want to get involved.

Our signatures change slightly with time and different life changing events (illness, trauma) will affect the way we sign our name. No matter how we sign our name, it will always reveal our innermost thoughts and desires.

Frankly speaking,

this is really an enjoyable facts :D

Do hand writing and signature really significant a specific meaning about personality?

Absolutely,

I find it so true about this reading :)

The first point,

My signature is always distinctly tinier than my handwriting.

Yeap! I am really an insecure person that what it written clearly above :(

No single day I have a secure dream !

The second point,

Both of my handwriting and signature are always cursive and illegible,

certainly,

my real personality revealed that I do not want to communicate my opinions with people,

I'll just listen what people talked; I won't talk or wouldn't share my piece of thoughts to any others,

but would just written privately in blog.

The most accurately,

it's pretty accurate that I went through a tunnel of sadness and I do not want to let outsider witness about it.

That is always I seem to be apparently smiling but inner dying.

The third point,

I got almost all ascending signature.

It showed that I am energetic and enthusiastic.

Commonly, people described me as hyperactive yet passionate.

The fourth point showed that I am the minority,

I really do underline my signature with no apparent reason.

I just signed and underlined it without realizing why I underlined :D

But this reading told me that my inner are so contented for who I am and what I do.

Yeah! There is no error at all !

I am so contented for who I am although I knew I wasn't born perfectly,

I am so contented to born in this family background, this appearance and had this educational background.

I am so contented for my quality friends around me who brought these presents and happiness to me.

Indeed, I am so contented for what I did too.

I am contented for my shopaholic life without regretting of wasting money,

I am so contented to spent time with family, take a tour with them at anywhere else.

Because, for me, anywhere else are beautiful.

Poor places and rich places has its own perspective of beauty.

I won't regret for what I've bought, I'll think it's not wasted,

and can be used it in any day else when I need it.

The last point,

the signature position on a page also reveal a specific personality.

I found it's so ridiculous but truth when I read this,

my signature is normally on left side whether I am sending an email or writing a letter.

It written that left side signature revealed that a person wish to stay in past and unwilling to left their comfort zone.

Absolutely I am !

I wish to go back to my very childhood, my past - which prior to the age of kindergarten.

I felt so contented and comforted to stay in suburb with my nanny rather than my parents.

Because my nanny loved me so much like this world has no second precious,

everything she puts me in the center but not other children.

While my parents,

 I tightly remembered my parents always scolded and beaten me when I am back to home with no apparent reasons.

They always grumbled and scolded me for the naughtiness since kindergarten and beaten me for things of no memory.

In my memories,

they beaten me for things that shouldn't be beaten, 

such as lost of a pencil or an eraser =.=

Thereby,

I wish to go back the moment of unconditional love.

I wanted to back to the ego comfort zone, perhaps I acknowledged I am lack of love.

It's so truth about this,

people who tend to sign on the left hand side significant of moving backward life.

When I read about this, "the position of signature",

it made me directly recalled my high school life.

Vividly recalled,

last time when Huay Ling always skipped school,

 she would simply printed out a piece of paper with fake clinic banner on top,

then the body of the letter asked me to write with doctor handwriting.

(sort of something like this letter format)

asked me used my 'doctor' handwriting to cheat Mr. Mani. Haha!

She said Mani is the most fussy form teacher, must have letter for absence.

Thereby, sometimes when she felt bored to go to school,

She always got a lot of excuses in the letter,

such as asked me to write 'Sakit perut' or 'gastric'.

She read, I wrote.

After she read finished, she will said 

'Sign at the bottom'

But somehow, the signature position, I always sign it on left without apparent reason.

Maybe,

that's a sort of inner characteristic?

Then when she came back from school on the second day,

I asked her

'Eh, er jie, Mani know I wrote one or not?'

She would clapped hand, laughed and said

'Hahaha! Woo Hoo! Ta Bu Dong'

People always tend to behaved that way,

the first time passed, then would think to cheat for the second time and the third time :X

From this personality reading,

I could slightly read daddy's mind.

I found daddy's weakness through this reading.

He is doubting his importance?

I knew daddy's signature,

is exactly drawing an entire zig zag on his name and his signature is super long like a tunnel.

Perhaps,

daddy is doubting his status and importance within himself, 

but tried to seek out a significant place in the eye of public.