Clarissa Ngoh. Powered by Blogger.

Once again,
another semester had just over,
finally I've find some time to blogged before flying back to Malaysia.
It's a good idea to summarized everything instead of posting many individuals posts!
Here we go, 
this is what happened after my final examination life,
nothing else - ate, sleep, playing game, hang-out with buddies and reunion sleepover.




Today, we went to Dimsum buffet at Shang Hai Dynasty Restaurant,
it's only cost $29.90 per head! And we could grab anything we wish, except beer!
There are assorted foods awaiting us from the dim-sum trolley,
and made us ate until our belly ache.
One of the most important things that happened this morning was someone said me
"You come here to play Dim Sum or eat Dim Sum? Never eat at all, cost $29.90"
"Then I said I ate until very full already, because you came late, so before you came, I've eat a lot, and now my stomach really cannot fill in any more"
Then, the next second I said that,
the waitress pushed a trolley just behind of me, and asked
"Any desserts"
My unthinkable reaction made me reacted impulsively,
I enlarged my eyes and said
"Ah! Want want want, I want!"
OMG! Damn awkward,
everyone were laughing at me,
just said "my stomach really cannot fill anything already",
then the next second saying "want want want! I want desserts!"
(and was speaking that fast to the waitress)



Another funny thing is once I ordered,
I ordered all desserts from the tray,
4 different desserts - which are coconut jelly pudding, aloe-vera pudding, rose tea pudding & almond pudding.
Then, as I'm already fulled, and eating the high carbohydrate pudding,
I'm damn full and couldn't manage to swallow the last almond pudding,
then when one boy said
"Hey Clarissa, you dont want to eat that pudding already?"
Then I said
"Dont want already, my stomach almost burst already, you want give you lah"
Then I put the pudding onto the dining table,
then when he asked
"what flavour is this?"
Then I said
"Its almond pudding.... oh yeah I like almond, eh I want again, paiseh ya! 
*Everyone laughing damn loud for my kiddish hesitating behaviour.
Even me myself, also can't control my funniness but I'm absolutely serious!
I dont mean to create joke or embarrass myself,
but my contradict behaviours really make everyone laughed like hell.



Then,
After Dim Sum at 2 something,
we walked to the mall and walked;
chilled at Starbucks altogether,
then I get back home to sleep for awhile, like 40 minutes,
I woke up naturally and went to the hot pool at my home with friends :)



Two days ago,
me and other bunch of classmates went to Japanese Buffet,
it's really cheap too! It cost at $50 per person,
and could eat anything that we want,
it includes everything, but the environment wasn't that flashy.
It's okay, experience and quality of foods that counts!



Besides than purely socializing, few days ago,
I also went to Wagaya to enjoyed the Japanese fine dining alone!
The ambience and feeling were super relaxed;
ordered what I want, take some pictures, scrolling my phones and enjoying the exclusivity alone :)



Finally,
what I realised is time flew so fast,
we didn't even have time to love the every single persons around us,
but time has magically turned us into an outgrown adult.
From 6 years old to 24 years old...
It's too fast, I can't imagine that why I've grown up so quickly,
even people - friends and family or acquaintances of daddy mommy,
all of them when they saw me at dinner function,
they would definitely give my parents a very big reaction by saying
"Wow! This is your youngest daughter? Now so big already? Eh correct or not"
Then mummy or daddy will answered
"Yes"
Then uncle auntie will definitely say
"Eh that time still carrying only, still 2-3 years old"
Some even said
"That time still in womb!"
HAHAHAH!!!
That's the most awkward moment I heard,
I've wondered in heart how long they never seen my parents? How come so surprised.
Up for 20 plus years and suddenly met my parents in a function?!
Yeah, so their reactions are signifying i'm too young or too old,
I don't know. HAHAHA!

Too young - as in they never seen me before or can't believe that I've turned out into a uni kid.


Too old - as in couldn't believe time flies so fast. 







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The drug, a histone deacetylase inhibitor (HDACi), interferes with one of the ways that brain cells record memories, by precisely placing proteins called histones on certain segments of DNA, affecting which genes are expressed. The hope is that, using this principle, doctors could someday prescribe drugs that aid in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Right now, those seeking relief from PTSD typically use exposure therapy, in which a patient mentally revisits a traumatic memory in hopes of overcoming the anxiety associated with it. But "the options for treatment of PTSD are very limited. There's really no good medication, and exposure-based psychotherapy is often ineffective for older memories," says Li-Huei Tsai, the lead author of a new study documenting the research, published in the journal Cell. "This study suggests that mainuplating histone-based mechanisms involved in memory deserves a serious investigation, and could someday be applied to patients."
Exposure therapy usually involves intentionally re-experiencing stimuli associated with a traumatic memory in hopes of replacing the original memory with a new, harmless one. A war veteran experiencing PTSD, for instance, might put on a pair of virtual-reality goggles that portray a traumatic war experience, while consciously aware that he or she is safe in a therapist's office.
For relatively recent memories, this has been found to be relatively effective, in part because of the brain's natural neuroplasticity that allows it to replace associations. After a multi-year period of time, however, it seems that old memories harden, and can't be dislodged by new ones.
Interestingly, the same pattern has been observed in mice—and the use of an HDACi appears to be a way of lengthing the key period of neuroplasticity, which if it's able to be applied to humans could dramatically lengthen the time period for which exposure therapy is effective.
Researchers demonstrated this effect on neuroplasticity through trials in which mice were exposed to a brief electric shock just after hearing a loud tone, which forces them to associate the sound with a traumatic event. Normally, if the mice hear the same sound a day later without being shocked, they're able to replace the old memory with the new one, and will stop freezing up in fear when they hear the sound again. However, if a month passes before they listen to the sound again, the association between sound and pain is mentally cemented and permanent.
When the researchers examined activity going on at the molecular level, they noticed that the activity of histone proteins on DNA played a key role in the neuroplasticity that allowed the exposure to sound without a shock to dislodge very recent traumatic memories and replace them with new ones. This gave the researchers an idea: to use a drug like HDACi (currently used in research on cancer treatments) to artificially increase neuroplasticity for older memories by altering how histone proteins attach to DNA.
To do so, they exposed mice to the same tone-and-shock regimen, waited about a month without playing the tone, then injected them with an HDACi and tried to dislodge the memory with the same exposure treatment as before. This time, it worked. The mice didn't freezing up in terror when they heard the sound. On a cellular level, the researchers observed the same patterns that had normally only occured when day-old memories were replaced.
Obviously, humans are not mice, but previous research has suggested that the same principles related to neuroplasticity seem to apply to exposure therapy in both species. That's why the researchers suggest that combining an HDACi with conventional rexposure therapy could someday be a way to weaken the hold of older traumatic memories in people suffering from PTSD, replacing them with new memories devoid of anxiety.
"Persistent fearful memories are a problem very relavent to our society. A lot of people suffer from an inability to subside very traumatic events in their lives," Tsai says. "Combining this sort of treatment with exposure-based psychotherapy might eventually provide an option for them."
There are still a whole lot of hurdles to be cleared before this is a possibility. The MIT researchers—neuroscientists working in a rapidly emerging field called epigenetics, involving the regulation of gene expression—are attempting to answer basic questions about how the brain encodes memories. They're not researchers that develop drugs, so it'd likely be another team that carries the research forward, and it would first be necessary to prove that this sort of novel approach is safe for humans.
But it's worth noting that the researchers extended the mice's natural forgetting process, allowing the mice to replace a traumatic memory a month—rather than just a day—after it was formed. It's not as radical as Lacuna, Inc. magically erasing memories à la Eternal Sunshine, but it's also a lot more similar to the processes that already go on inside the brain, and therefore a much more realistic future treatment.


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Phobia...?
Danger...?
Delusions...?

All of these mixed feeling came to me again,
I can't imagine that I just safely live for one or two years,
and the danger is coming soon.
I really scared, I can't imagine the hurts and pain would come to me when the time arrives,
I hate December, I'm afraid of December, especially the day after the last day of December,
I'm even afraid of next year,
I wish that she still who she is,
I wish that security can stay with me longer.



I'm afraid of smile, afraid of approaching,
afraid of hand, afraid of someone holding my wrist,
 afraid of being touched
afraid of bench, afraid of violence,
and afraid of those things that shouldn't be afraid.

I thought that I'm on the road of recovery as what she said,
but I guessed, when I perceived all these feeling,
I am not at all.
I experienced confusion, cold hands and feet, heart palpitation, severe nightmares and becoming mad recently.
I know, this day will still happen anyway.
Good bye bright world, hello my dull world.

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Finally,
mid-semester break is ongoing,
after the completion of Rural Valuation Field Trip,
I left 5 days to break after today.






This morning,
the moment I woke up,
I feel like laying 15 minutes more on my bed since it's a free holidays.
At the meanwhile when I laying on my bed,
I was pondering about the old relationship between me and a less well-off friend,
the first question I thinking in my head was
"Can the rich and poor become a friend in real-life without breaking off relationship?"



I started to think about who else is less well-off in my peer circle (besides than the girl I mentioned above)?
I relate to a few friends who still remained quite close to me,
3 guys and 1 girl whom are not so rich,
then I think I'm wrong, they are considerably more than average,
if not they wouldn't have enough of funds to live in Australia,
their parents are just running small businesses,
but are capable to afford them for luxurious education,
another one, her parents are both educators in Malaysia,
but able to live in a golf-club in Malaysia.


I guessed they are more than average I think.
Besides than these few people,
the rest of my friends are no longer purely above-average,
but either wealthy or super-wealthy.



Actually,
I don't like to talk about 'wealth' among a pool of people,
because the topic of wealth makes the rich and poor divided,
but still, I would love to keep in touch with at least one or two people from different background,
because i love their culture of simplicity,
the culture of wearing shorts and plain tee shirt, immerse in the mamak, and have different kind of mindset.
I really wish to have one or two poor friends,
but I can't manage to get one.



But,
I met someone whom I really wish to get in touch,
she comes from a completely different world from me,
we interact differently, dress differently, think differently, have contrary peer circle, and live a different lifestyle.
I wish to helped her; boost her confidence, try to improve her mindset, and help her financially,
but at the end,
I realised what I did don't work out,
this make me annoyed sometimes,
but a very close friend advised me
"not to keep in touch with this kind of person whom wont appreciate what you did to her, since she doesnt contribute or benefit you anything, just left her behind your life"
I know, indeed,
fact goes that way,
I myself thinking that way in my heart too,
"she is nothing to me, leaving her just make my life and more comfortable",
but sometimes,
the attraction of going back to her happened!
My best friend suggested me
"If you really wish to make friends with one or two poor friends, then just go and find a new one, not every poor behaved like her, some poor are really adhering to moral principles"

Now,
I'm still enclosing myself in the midst of income disparity,
I feel a little bit trouble of communicating with people who comes from different background.
Yet, I'm finding a solution to the problem from Google,
how to deal with people who comes from different background,
"can rich mix with the poor"?


No, they can't. The rich will dominate the poor and there will be a lot of resentment no matter how much money the rich one gives to the poor. Rich and poor are two totally different worlds. The rich have to stick to their own kind.
Blogger422Blogger42236-40, FNov 2, 20121 

And this is the result I gotten,
I feel so frightening when I read this,
the answer exactly reflect our situation.
I really poured out a lot of money on her; trying to help her financial situation, hope that she can lives better, but at the end, 
resentment is what I gotten in between us.
I don't hate her, but I think jealousy dominates her heart,
and thus it lead to psychological imbalance rather than resentment.
But, to be frankly,
I personally think that I did not dominate her,
although I'm quite dominating at times,
what I wanted, is just a true and real friendship which we can absolutely 'talk' about the income gap.
And I strongly believe, two friends who can't speak about 'income gap',
their chance of friendship survival wouldn't even success at all.


It's easy to like one another across economic lines, but it's difficult to hang out and really develop a freindship simply because one party can't travel and dine with the other...can't afford it.
hertoyhertoy 
61-65, MNov 2, 20121 



And yeah, this is so true,
it's very easy to like/loves someone who came from another economic life,
but it's difficult to interact and even develop a friendship easily because one party is totally out of affordability.


But,
when I read the third opinions,
I started to feel more about her feeling and situations,
now I feel that she's so pity after reading,
perhaps in her heart, she think i'm sort of bossy girl.
If not, this poor girl wouldn't even write this as her opinions.


For me personally it’s sometimes hard to be friends with some of those who grew up rich, especially when I am under financial pressure / working hard on a project. The rich just sometimes can’t understand that your appetite for risk is quite low when you have less than 1 000 (of any currency) in your bank account, and that if you make a mistake, there is no safety net, or family to help you out. The only poverty they experienced is when their allowances got cut and their parents felt they should experience not having access to everything for a year or two (before bringing them back in from the cold).<br />
<br />
Most frustrating is when they try to compare careers and try to convince you that they had it just as hard as you, and that you should really be able to be as financially secure as they are. They forget the private school, the international holidays, loans, the expert advice, the access to daddy’s business network/partners, access to capital, investment tips, the way doors and jobs open for you if your father is important – I think rich fathers try to not show how much they are helping their kids, but it can give rise to brats who really believe they “made it on their own”.<br />
<br />
Also they can’t understand that one can work hard and not make millions. “You are so clever and you are working all the time, I can’t understand why you are not rich?” With lots of knowledge one can gain money, but with a little knowledge and lots of money, you can make even more money than the clever guy – I think that is actually how it works. Hanging out with other brats these inconsistencies will never be exposed, but the moment they start hanging out with real “middle-class” people, whenever they try to show how “real” they are it just shows how large the value gaps are.<br />
<br />
Lots of rich people (especially 2nd / 3rd gen) are rich because they are actually quite lazy, and mostly use their money to make more money for them – they will tell you they are working hard, but most of the time it would be the money, their positioning or their network doing the work – when you are doing big deals with large amounts, you only need a couple of them – and you always get a bonus.<br />
<br />
I find rich people taking up too much of my time, picking my brain for interesting facts, introducing them to cool new things & ideas, hanging out at my place (when they are supposed to be working), I guess I make them feel like they know “real” people, but the moment they start wanting to “help” me, it just shows me how little they know about how average people make it in the world.<br />
<br />
The root of it, is that some of the rich in their secret hearts believe a different set of morals and values apply to them, and that playing by our middle-class rules is just silly, since we haven’t “seen the bigger picture”. Sometimes these 1-dimensional motivations will only be revealed once you become close friends with this person – and that could spell the end.
WorkerBeezWorkerBeez36-40Sep 27, 2013


Well,
it's time to start showering now.
Bid-bye bloggie.
Will write more when I need to :)



"Cultural norms make it hard to discuss income, but sometimes those norms need to be broken in order to maintain a friendship; without knowing, how can you adjust?"


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F-R-I-D-A-Y

What people doing on it?
My most common type of Friday is the combination between "window shopping" and "assignment",



very fortunately,
I have done my 10% assignment for 100% grade :)



Perhaps,
this is what daddy always encourages me,
"Relationship put at later stage, now concentrate on your studies first",
I'm very glad that he motivates me that way,
so that I achieved the best result in my studies.



This evening,
I have been lingering around the Emporium mall prior to the dinner and after the dinner,
I'm always a keen walker at the mall and in the uni,
people always bumped me up in the uni and saying words like
"hey! I see you again!"
(very often I heard this)


Today,
I have been spotted 50% sale for Michael Kors bag,


indeed the design is attractive and unique, but unfortunately,
the "rumors" about MK make me kept the money to myself,
sometimes during a party-talk,
I always heard things like
"MK always copied high-end brand designs like Chanel, Prada and Valentino" 
or "MK is for malays in Malaysia" or 
"MK is for those whom cant afford LV, Prada and Chanel, so they end up buying MK".
So, after this toxic rumors,
I rather buy brands like Furla which is quite an equivalent brand with less conflict,
Furla, shares the same standard as MK,
but it pricing roughly higher than it,

Furla - RM1000- RM2000MK - RM500 - RM1500

however, Furla design is always much appealing.



After that,
I have been walking around at the Kate Spade shop,
regarding KS, I really fond with its design and the princess-like clothing,


however, the size is too big for me even for the smallest size.
And I love the unique sling bag,


but it's too expensive after discount,
its $550 after 50% discount !
Absolutely crazy pricing, it just Kate Spade,
but the price is like Ferrangamo Salvatoe Purse.


















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Today,
 is the last five days of my holidays before I kick off my Master's second year first semester,
actually not considering today as holidays,
as I have been reading the week 1 lecture slide for "Statutory Planning" subject.
And yeah, obviously,
now I getting attract to law,
and it's the first subject that I chose to study among five subjects,
I have make some pictorial conclusions for what I read today :)




Besides than studying,

I do some "leisure" reading and masking.

*swag pose

Now,
I really treasured what she wrote to me and I think we are really getting closer to each other as what she mentioned in letter.
Communication brings us closer, make us happier and lead us wiser.
I hate her lesser now...







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About me

Nothing struggled at 25; live a pretty simple but self-indulgent lifestyle, do not expect less but eager an extravagantly peaceful life.

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