refreshed childhood memories

Just a moment ago,

I just updated and refreshed my blog songs,

which is the first five songs that playing in my blog now.

All these songs are the songs where I used to listened and sang in car when I was 8 years old,

vividly recalled, when driver fetching me to school,

I loved to whistled and sang all these songs,

especially Hero from singer Enrique Iglesias.

But I wondered how could I understand what is love when I was in my eighth years of life?

Now,

when I began to listen back all these songs,

I realized it's so meaningful and true indeed when applied into life.

It could be both apply into a love and hate relationship.

When I was young, I remembered I asked daddy what is hate?

Daddy answered me

'Hate means dont like'

But now, 

I understood that from what daddy answered me wasn't a complete meaning,

I knew daddy answered me that way because it's too intricate for an eight years old to understand this noun.

Yet, in my twenty two,

I had been fully grasped a broader definition of hate,

which is hate not merely refers to dislike, but it far beyond than that.

Perhaps,

there's no one for me to loathe during such a tender age and thus I wouldn't understand what's so called a real hate.

Until when I was 15,

 I started came to a realization that hate is something that you would rolled your eyes hatefully when you met someone you dislike or flatten your lips when that person looked at you.

When I am twenty-two,

finally I had comprehended what is the complete definition of hatred without someone really explains to me,

I guessed she's the one who taught me what is so called a real hate without really explains to me,

when I asked her why she hatred me?

She answered me that she didn't.

From my perspective,

I guessed she doesn't understands what is so called a hate,

she might doesn't comprehend her own deep down feeling.

She hates me but she doesn't knows that's hate, 

even Sherryn also smiled and eventually concluded

'A little bit'

But, yeah! 

It's a token of my appreciation to appreciate her for letting me know this meaning completely.

She taught me this meaning in a non-verbal way by showing her daily pathetic actions to me,

now I been able to formed plenty of sentences about the word of 'hate' without contextual error,

no one english teacher taught me this word before, but she's the first and only one.

Now,

I knew what is hate.

But still,

her words are always non-parallel from her actions.

I asked her 

'You know what is hate or not?'

She answered me

'I knew! I didnt hate you, hate means disliked a person till a certain extent.'

I talked back her

'Yes, exactly what you meant and also plus a harm at the end. Because the outcome of hate is harm.'

She laughed but denied her actions.

She said

'Noooo.... hate means disliked till a certain extent only, no harm.'

I said

'Yes, hate means harm, hate already so harm, like you, when you hate me till a significant degree so you harmed. So hate means harm.'

She said

'I didnt harm you.'

I said

'So from your perspective, how to prove you didnt harm me? From what example? From my perspective, I think you harmed me because you always trying to let your dog bite me!'

She said

'No, that is not real, that is frightened, because my neighbour asked me to do so.'

I said

'That is not frightened, that is real.'

She said

'No, that is not real, that is frightened.'

I said

'So how you prove that its not real and it's only frightened? You beaten me also considered harm. Because harm means something is done to trigger consequences, something bad happened on me after you beat me, the consequences is I got bad wounds and scars after you beaten me. So means you harm me~!!!'

She said

'No, I not really trying to beat you, I just tried to frightened.'

I said

'You know what is the meaning of frighten? Frighten means a real-like action to prevent someone doing something but not real. But yours is real, because got scars means real and no scars means frighten. So yours is got scars, really beat until me already, you harmed me!!!'

Doubtlessly,

she was stumped by my childish but rational sophistry at the end,

she used smile to take over that awkward part.

Perhaps,

I was too straight forward at times,

whenever I can't understand something; especially why people treat me badly,

I would questioned authority figure bluntly without putting myself in their shoes...