My good alien friend
It has been two years,
I'm making a friend who adopted alien culture where both of our identities are completely different,
I'm an entrepreneur's kid whereas she's the a daughter of headmistress.
In the initial stage of relationship,
I feel so good of her, because I feel that I have a chance to make friend with someone who is so unique to me,
but later,
I realized that our language and communication style are entirely different,
the culture in our heads are intangible,
the conversation we spoke are completely unique to each other,
one often talked about social circles, travels, education, country economics, cultural politics; another one preferred to talk about books and movies.
These days,
I feel that our relationship are getting untouchable and dragged apart to the worst as the contrary of social position,
I talked to a few close friends about the bits and pieces happened between us;
such as what we talked and what things she feels provoked,
I asked these people
"I dont know whether the problems lies on me or at her"
"I dont know whether the problems lies on me or at her"
and then finalized the 'majority' opinions into a conclusion.
And this conclusion, is a conclusion that I never and ever realized within myself,
these 5 people, they all giving the same response although they didn't know each other,
the response were
- "Because both of you completely comes from different world, so the feeling of jealousy is normal to her"
- "As you said she is a headmistress teacher, you should ask yourself that why you both were friends in the first place?"
- "You mean this friend is headmistress child? I wonder that how you would know headmistress child from?"
- "Maybe they are no wrong between two, but just the cultural gap between you girls, you might feel that 3 pieces of formal suit which cost up $135 is cheap, and is reasonable that baby need to wear those for dinner, but if you putting yourself in her shoes, as a headmistress kid, needlessly to say that how many times would you attend dinner function? and what to say a baby? I can understand this situation between both of you even I didn't experience the ordinary life as your friend before, my mum bought too much of formal suits when I was young till I spent all of my childhood wearing tuxedo at home. So, if you say $135 dollars for 3 pieces of formal garments, I would say it's relatively cheap at the market price, but you need to determine the social position of your friend. So, in a nutshell, both of you need more understanding and communication, I dont mean that you cant make friends with the poor, but should respect each other differences."
And the last one said
- 'Since she is a headmistress teacher, and you talked about so much, I think you're wasting your time and energy and money on her, why not find a better person for social investment? I would not become a friend with headmistress kid you know? Is not that we are realistic, is that we will financially burden them when we make friends with them."
Now,
from all the conclusion that my friends piled up to me,
I feel that they are advising not to make friends with someone who comes from different background,
and my heart feel heavy these days,
I tried my best not to talked to her since a day before add math day,
I tried my best not to talked to her since a day before add math day,
YS's advice was
"Dont completely ignored her, but only replied her when she texts you"
"Dont completely ignored her, but only replied her when she texts you"
and I did it, but my heart still feel sorrowful,
and we just talked in a moment ago,
I told her that my heart is so sorrowful when I didn't contact with her,
and her respond to me was
"Hey what are you sorrowful for? She's making use of you you know? You treat her so good, everyday text and celebrate for all her birthday and success, and she never text you by herself before, this is not the way a good friend is ok?"
I answered her
"Oh ok, I try dont want talk to her anymore, and promised myself to hang out with her once in awhile, but don't completely dont talk to her, if not too obvious."
"Oh ok, I try dont want talk to her anymore, and promised myself to hang out with her once in awhile, but don't completely dont talk to her, if not too obvious."
She asked me
"Okay I ask you the last question, for example if you bought a swaroski necklace for her, did she return you the same during your birthday?"
I said
I said
"uhmmm... actually she is a headmistress kid, so.... I didn't expect much... and didnt expect her return, but just wish that she treat me good can already....'
She said
"yeah that's the thing, so did she help you anything before?"
I said
"No, she always dont want to help me things, either dont know or never reply my questions."
She asked
'So what is the reason for you to make friends with her in the first place since she's completely nothing to you?'
When I heard this question,
I was stunt and speechless,
she's asking me the similar question that LR asked me,
I told her
"I really dont know lehhhh."
She asked me
'So as she's headmistress kid, and how you would know this person in the first place as your background is completely different to her?'
I said
'Because when I was in foundation, I studied in MMU, so that is the chance how we met each other in school.'
She answered
"MMU also got a lot rich kid ok? How come you will make friend with her in the first place? Quite weird you know?"
I said
'Yeah, I asked 5 persons, and all got asked me this question also, but not so detailed as you.'
She laughed and said
'HAHA! Because I concerned of you ok? I feel like she's making use of you, you treated her so good, everyday texted her and bought her so many things and she completely ignored you, where got this type of friend ones? Some more you still continued treat her so good, I suggest you go and find better ones...'
I said
'Yeah my another friend also said so, she said I can use my money and put the money in someone who is more deserve.'
She said
'Yeah that is common sense you know? If someone treat you bad why would you so foolish and continued treat her good ones, in this world totally dont have people like this ones....'
(THEN STARTED TO LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY IN PHONE)
I said
'Hey, when I meeting her up in KL, can you help me have a look on her personality? we have dinner together la.'
She said
"dont want"
I asked her
"Why"
She said
"I dont want mix with headmistress kid, dont know how to interact with them and later the situation become very awkward lo.'
I said
'You not say friend must help friend ones? I told my friend from Hong Kong about her, my friend straight said we can meet her up for a dinner, and help me assess the situation and observe her personality, and she purposely bought flight ticket from Hong Kong to Malaysia, just because of helping me to see her you know?'
She laughed and said
'HAHAHA!! Then this friend you certainly cant let go.. who willing to purposely bought an air ticket just to help you see what kind of person your friend is.'
I said
'And you also help me la, since you stay in KL, from PJ to Bukit Bintang only 50 mins'
She said
'Is not the matter of distance, if you want me to meet you up, I can, but I dont want meet with your friend, I never talk to headmistress kid before, later the situation very awkward. Like my mum's sister also headmistress, and her lifestyle and our family lifestyle are completely different ones... my aunt's kids are that type of lifestyle, go school study, then after came back,s study at home till night, and sleep, then go school the next day, otherwise, watch TV till sleep. So me and my cousins completely got no interaction ones... the most also HELLO during chinese new year only.'
when she said that we both can't stop laughing,
I said
'HAHAHA the most also hello during chinese new year only, yeah me and my poor cousins also like that ones... and also this friend, her lifestyle also almost like that ones... books and tv only.... I ask her what kind of classes she attended when she was young? She said never go any, just study at home only, secondary school also never go out, usually study at home only.'
She said
'Yeah same like my aunt la.... her children also like that ones... her children all very boring ones, like nothing to talk ones....'
I said
'yes yes yes, you know? These few years, since I met her, I'm the one who initiating conversation, typed a lot everyday, but she mostly replied oh and lol ones, and I asked her why she dont talk? She said she got nothing to say because her life very peaceful.'
She said
"Yeah lah, headmistress kid you know? What you expect? You think everyone have chance to go horse riding like you? some more spa at the top of the hill ! Hahaha (purposely teased me for what she saw in my instagram LOL)"
I said
'Hey to be frankly, do you think the conversations I showed you really offending? Because I told her I talked to everyone that way.'
She answered
"I read already, I think is completely normal lo, like I talked to my another friend who studying at Taylors also like that ones... and I also talked to you about my family issues what, everyone sure like that ones... I read the conversation also I was stunt you know? How come she so defending for nothing ones... I think maybe she got very low self-esteem so she will get provoked easily.'
I said
"Yeah, I got two friends also said this is the signs of low esteem, because I also feel that she angry for no reason also, like for example, my high school friend told me that she has an aunt who got no money, every time when her mum wasn't at home, then she will came her house to cook rice, like eat her house rice like that. For example this kind of situation, if I tell her like that, sure she will say eat rice then eat rice, why need to differentiating between rich and poor. So initially I feel is she get angry unreasonably, and feel she very weird, then until later only people told me is low self esteem."
She said
She said
'Maybe your friend came from really poor background la, so she will feels that you are saying about her. And whatever la, now on wards, try to minimize contact with her, when you come back Malaysia once in awhile then hang out with her, like that la...'
I said
"ok... today is the 5th day I never talked to her already.'
She said
'Oh ok good ! hahahhaaaaaa, make more friends with better person la, that is what I can say, if you dont want troubles, then try to avoid these people.'
I said
'And also I feel that she is really immature in many aspects, like I feel that her interacting standard is primary 5-6 like that... and sometimes she will told me what friend no friend ones... super weird you know? then i told her ok ok dont friend lo, then she said ok now I block you already"
YS laughed
'HAHAHAHA!! Good la, young at heart mah....'
I said
'No i feel really outdated already, you know when I was about standard 1-2 people say Asikei, standard 3-5 people say I friend with you and dont want friend with you, when I was standard 6, I transferred school, didn't heard of friend no friend any more, then when I reached secondary school, usually even people fight also cold fight only, never heard of friend no friend any more, then when I reached uni also never heard of it any more, so I feel that her interaction level is like I communication with a primary school student you know?'
She laughed
'HAHAHAHA! Because she stay at home and seldom mix people, so her social skill stayed at the level how she used to behave when she was young.'
I asked
'Really? Can like that ones? Not when people grow, the social skill will changed?'
She said
'No, not necessarily ones, human social skill is depends on what we seen, if we seen a newer thing, then we follow the newer social approach... so if she didnt interact with people, almost dont know ones...'
I said
'But still really outdated leh, during cny, I didn't heard my cousins say so, those primary 1 or 2 ones...'
She said
'Got, still got, I heard it when my younger cousins came my house, but just not our age interaction, so you didn't heard it only, but Asikeh and friend-not-friend still exist.'
This afternoon,
I spent my time wisely with "Secret Garden",
a new 'colouring' hobby that currently trendy for the rich,
why I'm saying trendy for the 'rich',
haha because the book is so expensive, it sold everywhere with the price of $25,
but I got it at the price of mere $10 at DFO.
LOL! I really can't believe the price at the store when I first saw,
LOL! I really can't believe the price at the store when I first saw,
but after confirmed with the staff in the store,
the friendly staff said
'Yes it's 10, and it's really a good deal.'
Thus, I just bought it back for my new hobby purposes,
these few days, I spent a lot of time in reading inspirational articles and it inspired me a lot and resolve my worries at the same time.
The articles helped me to understand between people around me from different boundaries,
and after reading this article I think I shouldn't putting too much time and energy on her if the relationship had more bad than good.
Perhaps, these 10 attributions are the true killers which dragged us farther.
10 Differences Between Middle Class And Rich People
1. The middle class live comfortably, the rich embrace being uncomfortable
“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream.”
-Peter McWilliams
“In investing, what is comfortable is rarely profitable.”
– Robert Arnott
It’s comfortable to work a “safe” job. It’s comfortable to work for someone else. The middle class think being comfortable means being happy, but the rich realize that extraordinary things happen when we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Starting your own business is a risk and risks can be uncomfortable, but a little risk is what it takes to create wealth and achieve superior results.
Step out of your comfort zone. Look at all your options. You will have to be at least a little uncomfortable if you want to become rich. You might even have to fail and that’s great, because if you’re not failing, you’re not doing much.
2. The middle class live above their means, the rich live below
“There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no one independence quite so important, as living within your means.”
-Calvin Coolidge
You won’t catch the average millionaire in a $100,000 car or a multi-million dollar home. The rich don’t spend their money on depreciating liabilities, they spend their money on appreciating assets and they live below their means. On average, the rich drive cars that are a few years old and they don’t buy them new, according to studies done in the book “The Millionaire Next Door.” Even if they can “afford” that fancy new Escalade, they usually don’t buy it.
Remember, if you earn $1,000,000/year and you spend $1,000,000/year, you’re still broke.
3. The middle class climb the corporate ladder, the rich own the ladder
“The richest people in the world look for and build networks; everyone else looks for work.”
-Robert Kiyosaki
The middle class tend to work for someone else. They have a job. A career. Upper middle class tend to be self-employed. They own a job. The rich tend to own the business. They own that corporate ladder that the middle class are busy working up. The rich understand that they need more people working for them to earn more money. The rich understand the power of passive income.
4. The middle class are friends with everyone, the rich choose wisely
“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”
-Warren Buffett
The rich understand that when you surround yourself with successful people, your own success will follow. Likewise, surrounding yourself with unsuccessful people tends to have the anticipated effect. Your income is usually the average of the incomes of your three closest friends. If you want to earn more, hang around people who earn more. It’s all about aligning your mindset with the mindset of successful people. If you want to be rich, you have to think rich.
5. The middle class work to earn, the rich work to learn
“When you are young, work to learn, not to earn.”
-Robert Kiyosaki
The middle class are easily persuaded to change jobs when someone offers more money. The rich understand that working isn’t about the money, especially in the early years. It’s about developing the skills and traits you need to develop to become rich. That may mean working a sales job to better understand the world of selling. Or it could mean you work at a bank to better understand accounting. If you want to be rich, you should be working to learn the skills you need to become rich. Most rich people didn’t get there by earning a high salary.
6. The middle class have things, the rich have money
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.”
― Will Rogers
Back to the fancy cars and big houses. That’s where much of the middle class spend their money. Drive through a middle class neighborhood and you will usually see brand new cars, expensive landscaping and high-dollar homes. The rich understand that to become wealthy, you have to want money more than you want things. If you keep buying things, your money will keep going with them. It’s funny how that works. For example, Warren Buffett still lives in the same home he bought in 1958. And he only paid $31,500 for it.
Stop buying things and start focusing on keeping, saving and investing the money you earn. If you are a shopaholic, start shopping for assets. Become interested in investing, then look for bargains on stocks and businesses instead of shoes and electronics. That being said, it’s not all about saving your money.
7. The middle class focus on saving, the rich focus on earning
“Your greatest asset is your earning ability. Your greatest resource is your time.”
-Brian Tracy
“If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.”
-Benjamin Franklin
Saving is important. Investing may be more important, but earning is the foundation of both. You understand that you need to save and invest, but to really achieve extravagant goals with them, you need to earn more. The rich understand this and work on creating more avenues to earn and earning more with the avenues they have. If you really want to become rich, work on your earning ability, not your saving ability.
8. The middle class are emotional with money, the rich are logical
“Only when you combine sound intellect with emotional discipline do you get rational behavior.”
-Warren Buffett
Steve Siebold interviewed over 1,200 of the world’s wealthiest people over the past 30 years for his book “How Rich People Think”, and according to him there are more than 100 differences in how rich people look at money compared to the middle class. One of the key differences he found was that the middle class see money through the eyes of emotion, but the rich see money through the eyes of logic. Making emotional financial decisions will ruin your finances. Warren Buffett explains that investing has much more to do with controlling your emotions, than it has to do with money. Emotions are what cause people to buy high and sell low. Emotions create dangerous business deals. Leave emotions out of this and turn to logic.
9. The middle class underestimate their potential, the rich set huge goals
“Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there.”
-Bo Jackson
The middle class set goals. Sometimes. It’s the capacity of the goals that differ from the middle class to the rich. The middle class set safe goals that are easily obtainable. The rich set goals that seem impossible, difficult or crazy. But they know they are achievable. It all comes back to having the proper mindset.
When you’re setting your goals, ask yourself if they could be bigger. Ask yourself if that’s really all you can do or if you can do more. I think you can do more.
10. The middle class believe in hard work, the rich believe in leverage
“It is much easier to put existing resources to better use than to develop resources where they do not exist.”
-George Soros
Hard work is a necessity. For all of us. If you want to reach the top (whatever that may be for you), you’ve got to put in the work. The problem is that hard work alone will rarely make you rich. You can’t become rich by doing it all yourself. You have to use leverage to truly become rich and stay that way. Leverage works in many ways, from outsourcing to investing. The more leverage you can incorporate, the more time you will free up to work on the things that really matter in your business and your life.
Some differences between the middle class and the rich are vast, while others may seem simple and minor. The fact is that if you want to become rich, you have to think like the rich and do the things the rich do.
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