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In the eyes of people who close to me,
I am famous of afraid of dog :X
Everyone had a common sense that people who afraid of dogs would have a tremendous reaction when nearby of it.
Somehow,
I afraid of every sizes,
I knew that I have to conquer the dog phobia when I am surviving overseas alone.
I have to learn to be independent, walk normally on street without behaving hyper-vigilance towards the doggies. 


Yet,
after 9 months surviving alone in Australia.
I've began to reduce the level of afraid towards dog,
I afraid the small and the medium one, and started not really afraid the big one.
Because I think the big one is too heavy and difficult to run :D
Comparatively,
I noticed that normally the smaller dogs are more active than the bigger dogs.
Because they ran really fast and keep moving :X
It just the same explanation goes to Pl's house dogs,
her old dog 'Adi' totally can't move at all,
just can lie down on floor and do nothing.
But her Junior, very fierce,
run here and there; seems like attack people anytime!
His eyes looking everywhere in a high speed,
the most dangerously is when it never take breakfast or lunch,
it will thinking to eat or bite people.



However,
I understood that if I wanted mastered fear then I have to mastered all; regardless of the sizes.
Vividly few days ago,
when there was a dog quite nearby of me and passed by me face-to-face,
my tremendous reaction started,
I bend down my eyebrow and began to 'Yi-yi-Yer-yer',
grabbed daddy's shirt and slided aside.





The main point here, in just a moment ago,
when I flipped through my instagram,
saw Nick (my elder brother) had uploaded a new picture in his instagram.
The picture had surprised and frightened me at the meanwhile,
the picture speaks that he has adopted a new female dog at home :(


To be frankly,
that's not a really cool news for me :(
Oh God!
Why in the perfect family,
I am the only one who afraid of dogs?
May I know who's and where's the hereditary I got it from?
(Besides than my good-looking got inherited from daddy & mummy! LOL)

Oh yea!
I guessed Huay Ling is a little bit afraid of it,
but not that severe as me :X
LOL !
Mummy told me before that she isn't afraid of dog,
so the answer is daddy?
HAHAHA!
I can't stop laughing right now :D
Daddy afraid of dogs?
Shouldn't be !
Because he tend to have normal reaction when dogs are around him !




Anyway,
I should stop my pen and write a full stop here.
Gonna take an endless shower,
wanna enjoy the warm water for this cold winter day :D
At the same time,
I would like to enjoy the shower cream of royal honey to unwind my heavy thoughts.

See ya !











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Clarissa Ngohposted toClarissa Purple
about a minute ago near Adelaide
Lol look at this
Photo: Lol look at this
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These days,
I am really hectic of travelling or trying good foods :D




For some nights,
I really exhausted when back to the hotel after traveled the hotel.
I lied on the bed and slept without the calming pill.
Somehow,
I noticed that for the specific two nights when I didn't take pills,
I would cried terribly for apparently no reason or a very tiny reason on the next day.
I really get depressed easily when I never take pills,
I would keep thinking of her and keep crying non stop.
Just an indeed negligible affair, I could keep crying in public places.
When I was eating meals in the restaurant,
I will suddenly recalled my seventeenth trauma, keep having the flashback of the cane whacking on my leg from a really high position.

Then,
I would can't control my tears and emotions,
lost of control and keep crying in the public places.
And also I would lost of control and can't stop crying when a small matter crossed my mind.
You know what?
Mummy just refused to buy a glove for me,
I would think of since young until now she never and ever treat me well before,
I think she is so self-center,
she just think of what she wanted and what she needed but not me :(
She will denied to buy the things I wanted by saying
'This is not nice' or 'This is not a good quality' or 'this is expensive'.
She will judge everything by her own opinion but not others,
or choose to eat her favourite meals but not others.
Whatever she disliked, she will just denied regardless of my feeling.
Therefore,
I will keep thinking since young till now I never been care, love and protected before; always been scolded or beaten without any solid reasons. 

 Since young I been growing up in others family and I just always have the sense that other people loved me more than my parents.

Since young I have almost no celebration of birthday parties or receiving any birthday pressie  from daddy or mummy so I felt like my life in the family is just like black and white.


So, this year is my 21st,
daddy brought and bought me a first birthday present in my life.


I really felt touching in my deep down till burst into tears in the silent night.
Yet to be frankly,
I don't really know whether is this a thought or symptom of lack of love?

I just knew the date of 25-11-2009 caused and carved a diagnostic of anxiety disorder in my life.


However,
when one day I missed to take the pill, on the next day,
my emotions would 360 degree elevated terribly, the symptom would outbreak, 
tears shed spontaneously and uncontrollably.
Subsequently,
people will asked me why you cried?
Honestly, it has no reason,
 the fact is I would just cried and lost of control on the next day whenever I didn't take pills on the previous night.'


Well, forget about it,
few more days my parents gonna fly back M'sia and it's time for me to celebrate uni reopen.
Glee or sigh?
My deep down is confusing.



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Yesterday noon, I woke up around 12pm sharp,
when I opened my my eyes,
the first thing I did wasn't kick away the half-body covered blanket, but looked at my mobile phone for the result announced :D




When the student profile is loading,
my heart felt like will outburst at anytime because my deep down knowing that I weren't doing good at all,
 surprisingly,
it appeared 5.3 :D



Frankly speaking, 
I wanted to post my results in blog ,
but somehow the result page can't copy and paste; can't highlight and save down,
overall, couldn't do anything at all !
I think perhaps due to privacy setting from the uni administration?
LOL ! I felt like I am the second Emily,
excitement always seek us at the last minute :D

I felt like I have the same feeling as her,
when we predicted we will get a lousy results,
but at the end,
surprise always made us unbelievable !
She is even crazier, 4.0 full point ! LOL !




After I read my results only I have time to replied those who asking for my results!
LOL !
Seriously,
 almost everyday I will received multiple whatsapp messages or ordinary messages at the moment I opened my eyes from bed,
and I will reply them before I brush my teeth,
but this time,
I checked my results first without replying them first.




After I checked my results, I received multiple 'results asking' message,
I felt like I am really a good apple in their eyes, in the early morning,
Cornelia, Ada, Ariel and Nero had sent me message about how many GPA point I attained??!!





for Cornelia, I pity her the most,
last semester she got two subjects failed,
 her GPA point just got 1 point something only,
so this semester she had paid off her hard work,
she got a distinction for this semester, but no matter how many distinctions she get,
but still couldn't attain her GPA point to 4 (pass).
The reason is because the fail grade point is 1.5,
so once you fail, it's really hard to boost up your GPA point from 1.5 to 4.0 :(
Hence,
even she got a distinction, the most it just pulled up her grade to 3.85, 
but still couldn't pass at all.
This is the difficulty study in Australia :(

Shopping is shopping, but still could not abandon the hectic traffic assignments and exam!

You can't fail, because once you fail a subject, for the next semester,
you have to attain all subjects distinctions to get a pass of 4.0 GPA point.
If you can't get all subjects distinctions,
you will still get an overall GPA point of failed !
Just like Cornelia, she took 3 subjects for this semester,
she got 1 distinction and 2 credits for the results,
but still failed for her GPA, because she did not get 3 distinctions :(



For Ariel, it's too bad.
She failed the most famous killing subject psychology for her last semester.

So, for her this semester, 
I think she is facing the same problem as Cornelia.
She embraces a big hope that she could pass her GPA.
But unluckily,
there was a tuition fees transaction problem, she couldn't see her results at all.
God bless she is fine now.






For Ada, the nerdy pianist, she got  4.6  :D



For Jerry, the so called 'sushi' chef, he got  4.1  :X


For Nero, the rich second otaku, he got  4.5  :)



For me, the 'hidden smart' hyperactive girl,  5.3  :P






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Clarissa Ngohposted toFabiola Tee
about an hour ago
Hahaha just now my dad ask me where is the new place I stay?

Then I told him : "Haiyo! Pa! I tell you also you dont know la.... Crown plaza, crown plaza you know or not??"

He said : "Who say I dont know? Crown plaza is international group hotel. In America, Europe, Australia all those call Crown plaza, in Malaysia call holiday Inn.'

I said : "Really? Seems like my knowledge is so low, I only know I stay crown plaza! Hahaha!'

He said : "Aiyo! Ah Ching! You not told me you want to stay uni apartment? why now go and stay hotel oh??'

I said : "Hehe pa! The place I stay is very cheap de... dont worry... '

He said : 'How much per week for rental?'

I said : '$650 per week.'

He said : '650 per week, then times 4, one month $2600, then convert back to Malaysia ringgit not $7800, around $8000.'

I said : 'Aiyo! Pa! Dont count like that la.... dont convert here and there... if really want to convert then times 3.3, then that 8000 become around RM 10,000. Then that RM10,000 convert to Taiwan Pi, then that Taiwan Pi convert to Rupiah....dont know already how much.....'

My dad keep laughing when I said like that ! HAHAHA! 
1Like ·  · Promote
  • Clarissa Purple likes this.
  • Clarissa Ngoh Clarissa Purple
    about an hour ago · Like
  • Clarissa Purple lol...
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh very funny? My dad laughed in the video call... lol
    about an hour ago · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh am I really good in convincing?
    about an hour ago · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh hehehe
    about an hour ago · Like
  • Fabiola Tee Hahaha. .....nonsense. .- -..but is true..but divided to 4 plps. .wont be expansive lar^^..tell ur dad dont worry
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh Yea, I got told him 4 persons, so each person is only 162.50, then he said each person 162.50 times 4, 650 times 4, 2600... then 2600 times 3.... 7800 around 8000. RM8000 per month??'
    about an hour ago · Like
  • Fabiola Tee -.-
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like
  • Fabiola Tee So confusing..I draw down the calculation ba..u want for ur dad?
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh lol no need
    7 minutes ago · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh he already understand everything through my clear and simple conversation hehe
    7 minutes ago · Like
  • Fabiola Tee hehehee..
    6 minutes ago · Like
  • Fabiola Tee OKiee^^
    6 minutes ago · Like
  • Clarissa Ngoh hehehe my dad is always like that, just a $162.50 weekly rental let him say till become RM8000 !!!!
    5 minutes ago · Like
  • Fabiola Tee hahah...
    a few seconds ago · Like
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About me

Nothing struggled at 25; live a pretty simple but self-indulgent lifestyle, do not expect less but eager an extravagantly peaceful life.

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