Caffeine effect

Caffeine - a crystalline compound that is found in my daily morning coffee,

aka both stimulant of my central nervous system and heart.

Now,

I finally understood his feeling, the more he smoked the more depress he is, but a cigarette will help,

the feeling goes the same as me,

the more coffee I drank per day, the more depress I am.

The reason remains unclear,

I just felt depress for no apparent reasons.

It just like a sleeping volcano outburst at any time when it feel like to outburst.

Today, it's my third cuppa coffee,

I thought I will find it releasing stress, but it doesn't,

and at worse, it worsen my mood and caused more depress. 

Scars always have a strange power to make us feel that the old hurt is still in the deep down;

never forgotten, never leave them alone inside and never actually restart a brand new life.

The clock is ticking, the hours are moving, and we are getting older and older day by day,

the past increased and the future decreased, possibilities decreasing and regrets accumulating. 

I never forget the hurtful discourse that you leave it to me,

the traumatic acts that you implanted in my mind since half decade ago.

The flashbacks followed me wherever I go,

sometimes I really hate for who I am,

I really don't wish I'm me, I wish I'm somebody else,

so that I can get rid this psychological pain.

But I know, if I'm somebody else,

I must be having other unique pains that I currently don't have it.