Perceptual fact

"But if you start at the low income level, then it’s difficult to move up the socio-economic ladder because of the perception.”

Just a moment ago,

I gotten this statement from my environmental politics textbook,

the definition is 'spectacular' indeed and it's spectacularly harsh.

I'm totally stunned when I read this,

it's because I recalled of my friend told me the exactly same example of her when I read this,

it's quite an impressive but a harsh reality.

She told me that everyone know her family background, not a poor family but not an impressive family,

then when people knew she comes Australia,

everyone was so shocked, teased her at the back and front.

She cried and told me that she spent such a lot of money,

but what she gotten is this kinda outcome.

Some of my friends asked me too,

two of my friends straight forwardly asked me

'Hey, XXX XXX not poor one meh? why she would go Australia finds you one?'

I think this is the definition of the statement above...

Yup! Reality is harsh sometimes,

another example,

vividly recalled when I told mommy pl went UK,

her response was startled,

her first response was asking me she went there for what rather than assuming for holidays purposes.

When mentioned of a position of teacher,

it reminds me of how sad is XXX XXX,

I feel like I'm gonna cried out now due to her pity.

I feel that she's really really pity,

one night, she came in my room and cried uncontrollably in front of me,

she cried and said

'Do you think study education is what I wanted? Not I want, is because I have no choice, my family have no money to afford me in further education. So what I can do is just rely my allowances to study what God given to me. I wanna study pharmacy but my parents said pharmacy is too expensive, dont have that capital to let me study.'

I keep quiet and asked her

'What's wrong with education? Why you dont like it?'

She streamed her tears down; looked at me desperately and said

'You know? I gotten full A's and I become a teacher, everyone keep asking me and told me that I shouldn't wasted my future. To be frankly, do you feel so?'

I frankly told her

'Yeah, I think that way in heart but never say out.'

When I said that, LOL!

She suddenly laughed while flowing heavy tears,

she flapped my arm; rubbing her tears and said

'Haha! You ahhhh!'

I said

'Ya la, you ask me tell you frankly mah, I really think that way in heart but I darent ask you because I scared it will hurt you. So I ask my father.'

She laughed even loudly and said

'Hahaha! How you asked your father and what your father answer you?' 

I said

'In the first place, I ask him: Pa! I got one friend really weird, she got full A's in her SPM, but why she go and study education?''

She said

'then?'

I said

'Then my father said some people dont have money to study doctor because study medical are expensive, then just no choice, can study what just study what.'

She said

'Ah nah ah nah! Eh why your father so clever one? Because my family no money, I want study pharmacy, so my parents just say got what then study what... since JPA scholarship is free.'

I said

'Then okay la, education income quite stable also, and no business risk also, unless you own self drug addict la.'

She still can't stop crying all the way and said

'You know? I study education is like everyone look down at me, everyone have the perceptions that teacher is a low position career, like no future like that....'

I said

'It cant say that becoming a teacher has no future, but what I can say is era change already. Now is 21st era, everyone trying to climb towards ladder of technology, while education path is more towards conventional path. You know? Long time ago, people assumed teacher like doctor like that.'

She cried and said

'Would you have a perceptual impression that teacher's kids are poor? You know... you know.... you know.... all my friends think I'm poor because they know my mum is teacher then look down me when they know I come australia... would you?? frankly telling me la... I just wanna know your perspective only....'

I said

'Erm for me ah... from my perspective, I think kinda lo.... because I have quite many friends parents, they are teachers kids... none of them are rich... and also last time primary school pay teck, I never see any big cars and when I standard 6 study pay fong 3, whole school also small car only... then until when I was secondary school, besides than datin a big car in school, the rest also small cars... so more or less I got that impression lo... But it still hard to say, like although chloe mum is a teacher, but she has a wealthy family because her father is a lecturer, she graduated until now and never find job also not a problem.'

She said

'Oh.... Then what your dad suggest some more?'

I said

'No la, I just feel weird why you study education only when I know you got full As... but I darent ask you, so I just ask my father....'

She said

'Ya lo... super a lot people ask me... ask till I cried every night.'

I said

'If I ask you the this question, I'm number what person who ask you?'

She said

'About number 20 like that.'

When she said that,

I can't stop laughing and said

'Hahahaha! Really?? So funny!! Got so many meh?'

She laughed while crying and said

'Really lah... hahahaha! And half of them still told me I am wasted and some like warn me some more, ask me dont regret in one day. Eh! You still haven't tell me what your father said some more...'

I said

'He just said study what doesnt mean becomes what, he said if you wanna change your life direction, you can make business anytime. Then I ask him study education can make business one meh? He said can....'

She said

'Ya la, can sure can lah, but how I got money go and do business?'

I said

'So whats your plan later?'

She said

'No choice lo, I will just become teacher only.'

I said

'Dont sad lah, why you keep on look so sad? Become teacher also not bad mah, at least better than those promoter and cleaners.'

She said

'The fact is everyone classified teachers as promoter and cleaners standard, like more than them a bit only....'

I said

'Their heads la, teachers also got 4-5 k per year if you get into senior rank.... It still depends on what kind of life you want, if you wanna every year come Australia once or twice like now sure dont have la, but if you plan properly where you wanna go, then that should no problem at all.'

That time, she had already stopped crying,

she asked me 

'Eh, to be honest la, you personally think that teacher as low salary type or high salary type?'

I answered her

'Personally, I almost surveyed all the salary reports in the world like Malaysia, Australia, America, China and Taiwan. Regarding teacher in Malaysia, you won't need to worry that you have nothing to eat, but if compared to positions like chief financial officer or chartered financial analyst, teacher is really lag behind. The difference of annual salary is between RM 48,000 and RM 840,000. So yeah! but education is still an essential role. Imagine that everyone think of avoid to become a teacher, then who is going to educate those future economics generator? So god is fair, like sapu lantai, if there's no one sweeps the floor in the world, then the world would be having world end.'

She sounds more okay at that time,

she said

'Ya la... sometimes this type of thing is fate one... like you, your dad is rich, your future is abundant because you can study till very high, but I got no money, just can study whatever God given me.'

I said

'But still, 50% of fate still depends on how you change your life direction. Perhaps, god give you an education path, but maybe you can earn more money as a biology teacher or a special education teacher. Do you know these two have the highest salaries? Biology teacher just like a theoretical doctor, they earns $33,500 per month know? and special education teacher also very high salary one you know? You know Joel's mother?'

She said

'Ah know!! Eh Joel very rich one leh, I know her father is doctor but I dont know her mother is special education teacher.'

I said

'Ya la, that's why he's freaking rich, his mum is a special education teacher, is like doctor salary one....'

She said

'I know la, almost everyone who study education also know special education teacher earns super a lot, I also think of becoming that, but my mom told me not.'

I asked 

'Eh got money leh! Why not? Better than government teacher one month only 4 to 5k.'

She said

'My mum said because education path very pantang to become special education teacher, they say if you everyday deal with that kind of retarded kids, the child you give birth also will become that type one...'

I said

'Superstitious lah! Where got like this one? Everyone also say people who sell casket very pantang, but they also earns the most....'

She said

'Eh really, really got like that one. You know my mum said she got a friend who is special education teacher, in the first place, her family ask her not to be, but she dont listen, she also think money comes first, then after around 6 years she becoming, she gave birth then first child, the first child is autistic one because she everyday deals with autistic.'

I said

'Or is coincidence one?'

She said

'No, they said really got that kind of thing one.  My mum said because her family memang dont have that type of genes one. Is because she dont listen and after that became like that one. So my mum ask me not to be. But I got friend who get into special education field, very hard one you know? I never take that subject, but I see they learned very hard, need to learn a lot of body languages one you know? They said study until siao one... very very hard one because a lot of things to remember.'

I said

'I know la, like that kind of TV news... got a small box at the bottom corner one... for deaf to understand one....'

She point onto her left forehead and said

'Eh you know Joel's brother got that one or not?'

I said

'Know la.... I quite close with him one.....'

She said

'Ya la, you not say his mom teach special education one? You see his son also got like that one....'

I said

'Personally, I dont think hyperactive as a defect. But his ear got some defect only, that's deformation during the foetus stage....'

She said

'Anah! No matter how more or less sure will affect one... that's why my mum dont let I go into that path....'

At the end,

she asked me a question,

she said

'Eh! You personally think family or money is more important for you?'

I pondered for a few seconds and said

'Ermmmm, I think I will chose money as the more important one. What about you?'

She said

'I think family is more important... dont u think family will leave you anytime?'

I said

'I think without money, we can't even survive. That's the poorest thing in the world that the feeling is worst than we lost a family, I mean all people come and go, people live and death, that's the natural phenomenon in the world.'

She said

'You know? My father rang me every night and talked to me even I'm studying in Kelantan, imagine one day he stops ringing me, I will feel very disappointed, I rather lost my money to get this feeling.'

I said

'Awwww.... I see... maybe we have different family culture, so it's a bit hard for me to grasp your situation.'

She asked

'Your family culture is told you money is more important than family?'

I said

'No la, my parents never say that la, but is a kind of family culture hinting me. For example, my mum will keep preferring me to work in Australia because it makes more money, but she never says you come back and work la, so it's that kind of meaning la.'

She said

'Ohhhh I understand what you meant now, ya I think maybe is family culture, let say if you mated an international partner, would your parents let you go with that guy if he's not in malaysia?'

I said

'Yes, why not? As long as they are rich and capable to afford my life, my parents are fine.'

She said

'har! My parents dont let I get married with others nationality one....'

I said

'Why?'

She said

'Because my parents want me to work in Malacca.'

I said

'Ohhhh I still think money is more important than family. Because we can't survive without money, it's hard to not to eat.'

She said

'NO la, the standard I refer is average family background la, let say if you have enough of money to survive, will you choose to have more money or think family is more important?'

I said

'Anyway, I still will think money is more important, as more as possible, my demand in family is as long as it's not a broken family or divorce family, it's already more than enough.'

She asked

'Ya also true! As long as its not a broken family, its already more than enough. You're also quite easy to feel contented.'

I said

'Yeah, so I think as long as I got a concrete family, I already contented in the family perspective, then earn as more money as possible to do whatever things I like, such as go travel, eat anythings that I like without looking at the price, buy anythings that I like without think twice.'

She said

'I dont too centralize money because maybe I dont have rich family as you, so I dont know that kind of environment you have. I just feel like now I'm happy enough with my family and not really wanted money so much, you know? My father phoned me everyday since I went Kelantan study, he phoned me like that for years, and even closed up the room door and talked, untill my mum said I'm like my father's girlfriend like that, why need to everyday talk and some more need to close up the bedroom door?'

I asked

'Got so many things to say meh? When he phoned you what he asked?'

She said

'He asked me just now what I ate, what I doing in school just now, and I assumed my father as my best friend like that, whatever happen in school, I just told him straight away one. You? Your father called you how many times a day?'

When I heard she asked that in a serious face,

I even laughed out loudly!

LOL!

She asked again

'Your father called you how many times averagely?'

I showed my my hand and response her

'Today is your first week staying at my home, did you heard my dad calling me?'

The most funny thing,

she even look scared; covered her mouth immediately and said

'Eh! Ya hor! Never heard before....'

I said

'Yeah... so... that's why I said that's family culture... maybe I can't feel the feeling you described because I have never experience before, so for me, money is more important, because I always heard my father discussed to my brother how how how to earn money or how to do the right technique in business, while my mum always keen in rich relationship, means if our partners are poor she will more probably dislikes or rejects. I know that's good for us because every mothers worry about own children. But, I think that's the culture in our family.'

She asked me specifically

'So what is your expectation in your family relationship?'

I said

'As long as I dont want a broken family, everyone are still survive, that's already enough for me.'

She even laughed and said

'ha! Just like that?'

I said

'To be frankly, I really dont know what you mean by more family relationship? Aren't that having a completely unbroken family is perfect?'

She said

'Ya la, my meaning is more than unbroken family, a very very loving family.'

LOL! I asked her

'Wait, how loving is your loving?'

She said

'like now.'

I said

'Even it's loving, if your family having financial issues, I think unhappiness will establish too. So money is still more important than family.'

She said

'No la. I mean the money I expect is more than average.'

I said

'I thought you said choose one between family or money? More than average is consider rich. What is your extent of being average?'

She said

'My average means erm... how to describe that financial situation leh.... let me think about it....'

I said

'Okay... for example.... like yi ting family?? or... (havent say finish)...."

She straight cut my conversation and said

'No! Yi ting is too rich... got other example?'

I said

'Emily?'

She said

'Ah! Like Emily like that I already contented. A little bit over than being average. Means can't straight get the things I want, but afford to go holidays after one year planning.'

LOL! I laughed and said

'Hahaha! Why you underestimated Emily until like that? After one year planning only go holiday? Hahaha! And how you know she planned one year and go holidays?'

She said

'No la, I raised one example of what I expected lah, I dont need to be really really rich like Yi ting.... but can fulfill my wish after a certain effort....'

I said

'The fact is every rich people planned holidays too. Just like I plan the places I wanna go too.'

Funny! She said

'For your case, you plan the places u wanna go only instead of plan the financial budget, so your family situation consider super duper rich already. Can fight with yi ting standard.'

I said

'How u know yi ting is also unplanned type one?'

She said

'ya la, that day your birthday, she straight came to me and said, eh! I think you better go melbourne and sydney lo, if you only go Adelaide, the money you spent is not worthwhile, she just think of the places she wanna go only, but never think of money that side one. Like for poor people, sure people think of how location affect budget and so on, but she just think of where she wanna go only. No difference as you haha!'

I laughed and said

'Hahaha! Ya la, she is like that one, like the things she wanna eat, she never think of price one, she just think of eh we go la, that's place is new, go try la.... or go somewhere else she never go before... then keep asking people to go....'

She laughed and said

'Hahaha ya lo ya lo, when she talked to me, I also got that feeling, she just sounds like keep asking people to go, but didn't think so much one...'

I said

'Ya, rich people usually like this one... my friends in australia all like that one... and can say most of them, among 10, nine are unplanned. Like XXX, I ask him wanna go sydney on 17th january with me or not for Master course registration.... he straight told me ok ah... january I go melbourne, gold coast, tasmania, brisbane. I'm so shocked he said like that. Like straight answer okay and never ask mum or dad one.'

She said

'Ya la.... this is fact lo... it cannot denied that money can buys happiness, but buy in another perspectives... I think that's the way rich kids find happiness, like you, that time, I wanna go America, then just fly like that only.... hahaha! I remembered you showed me the beautiful pictures at America and told me you're google check, then after few days you told me you bought flight ticket already. I also very surprised, how u got America visa and money?? So god is fair lo, everyone got different kind of happiness, you dont have that kind of family love one but I got, I dont have money to travel the places I wanna travel, but you have. So that's life.'