Beautiful morning
Yeah!
Ultimately,
the year-round Chinese new year is coming soon on next two days,
today is the most beautiful day that I ever had,
in the wonderful morning,
eldest sis woke me up, she spoke
"Hey! Huay Ching, wake up d, yesterday you still said 9am depart from house to Labodega for breakfast, now you still sleeping.'
I smiled; got up and had a stretched,
subsequently,
I walked into the bathroom, had an auto-brushed on my teeth while I'm still closing half of my eyes.
And then,
I used my new facial foam to scrubbed my face with its brush,
the final stage of tidying myself was wearing a new Pronto watch which just bought from daddy last night, it's RM1300K, a must to wear it.
Indeed, I'm a swagger now.
I'm wearing a Pronto watch, Gap tee, skater skirt, Zara flats and glamorous nail polish today...
Perfectly,
we heading to La Bodega at a quarter of ten,
I drive my eldest sis and daddy rode another car,
when we reached there, right in front of Labodega,
I reached first where daddy's car was behind of me,
when I stopped at the parking slot right in front of Labodega,
I saw three empty slots with three divider blocking respectively at the slot,
eldest sis went down the car and helped me removed the divider,
the holy crap body guard stopped her from doing that,
he said
'Sorry cik, nanti sini ada orang nak park.'
He putted back the divider into origin,
then when daddy's car came forward,
he removed the divider and let daddy parked the slot.
Shit !
Just couldn't understand why these slaves are so meant and realistic,
when he seen I drive Jazz he took away our 'first reach' priority and given the priority to Datukship car.
After that,
the next two parking slot was available when a vehicle came out.
We (daddy, eldest and me) got down the car altogether and walked towards Labodega,
the two security guards were shocked when he saw we knew each another.
Sweat ! Both of them are too realistic and pathetic,
I told daddy about that,
he smirked and said
'Haha! Is like that one... you drive compact car, nobody will serves you.'
Well,
just ignore the bad things and focus at the beautiful thing,
we find a good and quiet place - at the middle of the store, right in front of the big window to enjoy the breezy wind.
The restaurant is so empty, perhaps due to the weekday working hour.
We daughters spent our great time with our only one father in the world,
the feeling is so awesome,
this is something that sons unable do that :)
That is why people admired parents who have daughters and prefer to have a daughter in this 21st era.
We ordered a Spain La Bodega big breakfast set with add on of a hot caramel latte and a glass of apple juice,
whereas daddy ordered a simple breakfast set with add on of black coffee and celery juice to reduce his high blood pressure.
They even disturbed me by saying both are apple juices, asked me to tried it.
When I had a sip on the celery juice,
the feeling was so yuckyyyy!
When I uttered a yuckssss sound,
they laughed at my innocence :P
During that lengthy breakfast,
we sat and chat and laughed for whatsoever jokes,
the journey of this breakfast wasn't tedious at all,
the whole restaurant only contained our laughter because there's no one out there,
so relaxed and comfortable,
finally I knew the definition of being the lucky one whom able to provides the joy into the family.
Certainly,
happiness and wealth often do not intersect,
people who born in a well-off family usually doesn't have the priority to enjoy the happiness,
whereas people who born in a happy family generally are not really financial lucky,
thereby I realised that I'm kinda lucky because I have both wealth and happiness,
daddy is able to buy me anything and we interact happily,
I'm the one who always bring joys and laughter into the family,
where despondency is rarely happen in our family.
Big house, luxury cars and the compact cars, servant and driver,
I'm actually blissful than what I expected when I was little,
when I was tender,
I used to be thinking that I wished to be happier and wealthier,
now I'm contented with everything I had,
I'm not greedy and I knew that's the boundary of materialistic life.
People always say human's desire is limitless,
when someone reaches a certain boundary,
they will expect more and become more depressive when they fail to get their materialistic target.
Yet,
I feel that I wasn't that bad and I'm actually contented for what I having now,
which caused my personality so easy-going or 'up to you'.
I not really care about what people say because I have a sense of strong ego that I knew who I am which caused me to think "up to you" that you think how I am or who I am.
Anyway,
this is a good thing, because I feel that this concept lead me to a high quality of morality,
whatever people did to me,
I used to thinking "up to you" how you treated me,
because as long as I never feel sorry to you I'm in the right track and keeping up my virtue.
The reason that I doing the good deeds in the world not for sake of getting good return from god,
but to create happiness for others.
Perhaps,
people used to think that I'm mentally ill or the crazy one,
because they assume that I do things for no reasons and don't know why I just give a lending hand without getting any benefits.
People might perceive it's a kind of stupidity,
but I personally feel the excited of helping someone.
I am fond with buying a favorite thing for others,
and when I seeing people is excited with the new thing or seems like so useful to others,
I'll become so excited and happy because I feel that I'm helping someone.
Finally,
I understood daddy's explanation yesterday,
he explained to me the reason of praying a decease,
I asked him a question
'Why human died already we still have to pray them? Do they knew we praying them and do they really live better in their death world?'
Daddy answered me
'No, I believed that they dont know we prayed them, died already means nothing already, but the ritual of praying is for sake of our own comfort, is like a respect to them, like we still care them even they died, something like this, is like a ritual to commemorate them.'
Today,
I understood his explanation by my own way,
I knew that it just like helping someone for my own comfort,
although nobody knows I'm actually helping another, but I just want to help out for my own comfort and happiness,
I love to help out the poor,
people say I'm an extraordinary rich kid,
the circumstance of being 'extraordinary' refers that I am unlike other rich kid,
one of my MMU friends said
'Hey! You really good ler, I didn't expect that you'll think like that, I feel that you're unlike other rich kid.'
I asked her
'Why? You mean usually rich kid won't behave like me?'
She said
'Ermmmm maybe the rich kids I met are unlike you, they are more cool and unconcerned, usually focus themselves more rather than concerning others. For example, the pajamas party, you still will say dont have pajamas never mind, the most important is we play happily, and ask me to wear loose loose can already. If for other rich kids, if you dont have pajamas, they will straight dont care and implied you dont come already. Because they need their faces more than anything.'
I said
'Ohhhh, for me, I want a perfect theme too, but I knew everyone come from a different family, to make the situation equals, we just try the best we can do, if I come from a well-off family, I just try to wear the best, whereas for those who come from lower standard family, just try to wear loose loose to match the theme can already, however wear what also not important, the most important is happiness.'
She said
'I got pajamas, I got pajamas! I already bought it, but the thing is I dont know makeup, I dont know dressing, because you know? My mum is a teacher, I came from a very simple family, so I totally never get in touch with this type of situation before... Hey! You really lucky lerrrr.... you anak datuk always can attend party or prom night or those dinner-dinner, I, as a teacher's kid, rarely attend this type of occasion, so totally dont know how to dress up.'
I said
'Hey! I got one friend, she also a teacher's kid, almost same like you one, she don't know make up at all and the way she dressed up also very random one, got one time she came and pick me for dinner at Damansara Japanese restaurant, she wore one grey blouse with white pants only, then I laughed and ask her why she wear like that? She said she never dress up one and usually wear like that go out.'
She said
'Yea yea yea! I also like that one, when I go shopping I wear home blouse, because I dont have a lot of dresses.'
I said
'Ya! My that friend also same like you one, I think both of you look the same, I'm quite close with her, her birthday present I still bought a set of Elizabeth Arden makeup set for her, ask her don't think of because expensive, then don't practice make up, I tell her actually that makeup set very cheap only, ask her don't worry.'
She said
'Heyyyyy you really good lerrrr, your personality really unlike normal rich kids, can't predict that you still will mix teachers kids....'
I said
'Yeah, I think friendship this type of thing is depends on fate one... whoever we met are actually designed by god, I have many classmates are teacher's kids... you know my birthday party?'
She said
'Yeah I knew I saw in facebook.'
I said
'Yeah, during my birthday, among all got two of them are teacher's kids....'
She said
'Ya meh?? Ehhhh really can't see out leh.... When I first had a glance at your birthday party, I thought everyone came from upper family background, because everyone wear so glamorous and the background was so classy, that time Yi Min got asked me to come to your birthday party, but that time I don't have confidence to attend your party, because I don't dare to attend high class occasion, I scared I will behave awkwardly due to never attend before, and at that time, I don't have any high class dresses and dont know make up at all, then think of so many people, very troublesome, don't have this and that, so just never go. Paiseh leh....'
I said
'No, never mind, we still can throw a small party if you are not comfortable in the big party.'
She said
'I wish I can attend that type of high-end party, wearing pretty and take pics with a lot of high-end people, but I just dont have that type of confidence...'
I said
'Actually you are good looking, if you don't want to dress up yourself before you get into 30 years old, you'll regret for your whole life.'
She said
'Yeah! A lot people also told me I'm pretty and good looking, and I need to be more confidence and dressing, but the thing is my mum is a teacher, I scared later people will gossip behind me, say me like you see this teacher's kid, want to act rich... those things...'
I said
'Aiya! No such thing one la... dont listen them... every woman have own rights to beautify own self regardless of what our parents work as, because no one can defined our parent's occupation, we are destined to have them... on another way of thinking, you have to think when you beautify yourself, people look upon you and say waaa this Xi Yan so pretty, so elegant, can't see out she's teacher kid hor.... you see! Much better right? So it still depends on how we think, we have to try to make things better instead of keep things in the same standard.... For an example, if you have low confidence, always scared that people will laugh at you because of you dressing up as a poor kid, you'll be that standard forever, if you try to improve yourself, all good things will come ahead, confidence improve, thinking improve, relationship improve and everything become better. Right?'
She said
'Heyyyy your words inspired me, I like the way you talked.'
I said
'Yeah, so overall, it still depends on how you think? The most important thing is be yourself, ignore what people talk about you, because no matter how good you did, it's impossible the whole world agree you, there must be someone badmouth you due to different opinion or disagreement. Like me, I can't say that there's no one badmouth me behind of me because of my fancy life, but who cares? If I dont have fancy life also will got people badmouth me, why not I choose the better way to live my life since it still the same?'
She said
'Heyyy ok ok! After you said like that, I really feel right, I will attend the pajamas party and wear fancily... but the thing is I dont know make up even I practiced a few times already.'
I said
'Make up is not a problem, I can helped you and teach you when I'm helping you to make up, I can tell you the procedure and technique, I can also use my hair curler help you curl your hair.'
She clapped her hand happily and said
'Ok ok ok! Hey you very good, I love your character, rich, but kind and helpful, not selfish. You're my first good rich friend.'
I said
'Haiyo! Dont think yourself so bad la, teacher kids weren't that bad also, your mum is a teacher, try to think about those who work as government cleaner or hawker staffs, not even worst?!'
She said
'Yeah yeah! Also true, hey you really boost up my confidence and let me think I actually wasn't that bad... really thank you.'
I said
'I'm actually telling the truth, I dont perceive teacher's kids as poor, but impossible they are rich only, they are the average income family, impossible poor also.'
She said
'Yea yea! Actually my family is not poor, we still have a normal life, but dont have the fancy life like you only. Because my mum and my dad is normal workers, so we dont have that type of high-end function to let us attend, that is the reason I don't know dress up.'
After that,
I opened my instagram and showed her Sherryn's instagram,
I said
'Nah! Look this! Do you think person look rich or poor?'
She scrolled down with her fingers and clicked in some pictures and had a glance,
without hesitating,
she said
'She looked really rich. What her parent worked as?'
I said
'She is same like you, her mum is also a teacher.'
She was amazed, she said
'Wa! Really ah?! Hey cant see out! Her life look fancy and so enjoy, always eat good foods.'
I said
'There! That is what I want to tell you, we rule our life by our own confidence, without confidence, we just have that type of low-end life, with confidence, you can same like this person, so this is what we can decide who we wants to be, the more confidence we have, the higher social ladder we climb up. So, our parents social status doesnt define our social standing, the real social standing is actually rule by our own decision, everyone can who we desire in this world, whether you want to be success or have your current stable life.'
She said
'Ok ok ok! Since today onward, I want to be like you, live my own life and be who I want, you teach me make up ok?'
I said
'Okay! No problem.... Whenever I come back Malaysia, I can teach you when you're free.'
She said
'Heyyyy I will really treasure you this friend, you're too good already, previously, I dont even have guts to mix with rich kids due to my family background. Now, I think I really find a true rich friend who are so generous and easy-going.'
Well, back to point,
after our scrumptious breakfast,
we head back to home to prepare ourselves for Chinese New Year eve dinner,
when we reached home,
we saw mommy, little brother and driver were cleaning the house,
holding the water pipe, spraying around and ordering each other to do something.
It gave me a sense of happiness that I felt my family is so concrete and complete,
daughters spent time with daddy in accompanying him for breakfast whilst son spent time with mommy for cleaning the house.
How awesome is that to have this feeling,
I guess that's the reason of getting married and building up a family.
This made me instantaneously realized how pity she was,
when I visited her house, without her knowing,
I saw she's rubbing her gate alone, no maid, no servant, no kids helping.
She rubbed the gate by her fingers, changed the bucket water by herself, carried the new bucket water alone and squeezed the mop clothes alone,
nobody helps her in the process of cleaning,
she done it all the way by herself.
Subsequently, the cleaning flashbacks made me recalled of what Kaima told me,
she said
'Actually she very pity one... her husband dont care her, everything she done by herself one... everything she paid it herself one know? The house installment, car installment and all the expenses of her children... So, forgive her if she had any previous emotional toll, you can also realised this from her children... you see her children also all the emotions get affected due to this reason...'
I said
'Why will get affected? why they just dont want ignore the problem and live a normal life?'
She said
'You think very easy meh? If your parents quarrel here and there, you will also be unhappy.... That's why you can see that Lye Chuin Li very bad...'
I said
'Lye Chuin Li very bad?'
She said
'Ya her youngest daughter, what name? I heard they said she very bad in school one right?'
I said
'Dont know... I dont know how she behaved in school, but can see out she dont have good temper lo... from the way she interacted with me la...'
She said
'Anoh! That's why... so you must appreciate what you having now... you see! She no money d, still give you RM100. Actually she is not that bad, but just sometimes emotions affected her only... she cannot control herself... so just simply come...'
I said
'What do you mean she cannot control herself? Means she dont know what she is doing?'
She said
'Knew! She know what she is doing, but just cannot stop doing something only... like she told me she hold knife point at you right?'
I said
'ah, when she told you?'
She said
'Got quite some time already... she said she suddenly feel bad and said she took knife point at you... and want to cut your hand right?'
I said
'I almost forgot already.... I just remember she wants to draw one line on my hand...'
Then she said
'Ya lo... aiya actually both of u also pity... I dont know how to weigh the situation, you got your own suffering, and she got her own suffering, it caused both of you torture each other...'
I said
'Actually, she is more pity than me, and I feel that I am not pity at all, because at least my father still got money even I'm unhappy all the way, she's even worst, no money and unhappy...'
She said
'Ya lo... but what to do? This is fate lo... she since young dont have a good fate, last time she's really poor, she's the youngest one, now when she get old already, still have to take care her sick mom, nobody wants to take care, and people ask her to take care...'
I asked
'What about her father?'
She said
'Her father died when she was 5 years old.'
I startled and said
'Ohhhh! That's why just now when I said hk mum very pity, her mum never know how to love her child because her mum's mum died when her mum was 4 years old. Then I saw both of you looking at each other for 5 seconds like that, at that time, I still dont know her dad also like that, that is why I wonder why both of you looking each other like I guessed correct anything already like that.'
She said
'Ya la, actually her situation is almost the same as hk mum.... overly stressed lo.'
I said
'Why overly stressed will caused someone abused someone?'
She said
'Will la, because like emotional burst like that mah, once she burst out her negative emotions, she feels more released, like when you get angry, after you beat someone, you will feel better because your negative energy is vented. '
I said
'Hmmmmm, very hard to imagine the feeling, because I never do that before so I dont know what's the actual feeling.'
LOL ! Kaima said
'Hahahaha! You better don't behave like her and find someone to beat wor.... its better to get one sandbag and put it in your room and beat it when you get angry.'
I said
'Hahaha! I dont want... sandbag so hard and concrete, punch one time my hand already painful.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Hahaha!!! Ya lo.... dont beat la...'
I asked her
'Eh, Pn Lye always beat me, and she can beat me so many times at once, her hand wont tired meh? Keep swinging, I mean her arm and elbow.... the mechanism can function for so long without tired meh?'
Kaima laughed like hell when I asked like that seriously,
she said
'Hahahaha! How I know? Maybe wont la, because she got played badminton mah, her arm also swung like this... so maybe she beat you like how she play badminton, swing for few hours also no problem....'
I said
'Ya lo... sometimes I will think of this question, when she beat me during add math day, her hand wont tired meh? Beat beat beat like that and dont want rest at all.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Hahaha why when I look at your face, I keep on want to laugh out, why you ask till so serious? Your face very cute hahahaha!'
I said
'No ah, i'm seriously asking a question because i'm curious why she can beat so many times and not tired... she also never tell me she's tired at all... she still can har one sound beat one time, or else she will har har har har, and beat beat beat beat! After that, she talk one or two sentences, then she can continue beat again.'
Kaima touch my hand and legs,
she look at me fondly,
she said
'Aiyoooo, you so kesian, let her beat until like that, when I saw the pics also I very sin tia... look like you went through extreme pain....'
I said
'Aiyo dont say like that la, I'm ok one.... when she beat me, I will only angry at the moment she make me angry, after that when I went home, the second day I didn't angry any more, I try to anger, but dont have that type of anger any more, like last time when I was young, my dad always beat me, then I told myself since today onward, I want to hate my dad and dont talk to him any more, but the second day the feeling fade off already, I still talk to him after every time he beat me. So Pn Lye also same, when she beat me, I feel a strong sense of anger towards her, but after a few days, I can talked to you like jokes only. You see, I just mentioned why she keep on beat me like that her hand wont tired meh? Keep swinging non stop....'
Kaima said
'Ya lo... my guai kai loi.... never bear grudge one...'
I said
'Actually I slowly realised that the reason I go her house is not because of revenge, its because of dont want forget her.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Shi meh? Jiang Dao Jiang Hao Ting!'
(Ya meh? Say until so nice)
LOL! I said
'Shi la!!! Seriously!!! My subconscious told me one.... you see! If I really want to revenge, I already caused harm to her seriously already, like break her tyre or act like Tai Yi Long already... I also never do anything, put the stones and throw parking coupons....'
She said
'Oh yeah ehhhh... you never say like that also I never realised.... Ok lo, since you are not revenging, but just dont want forget her, next time you come back, I every time bring you to her house ok?'
I said
'Ok ok! I also promised me turn few rounds then can go back d, you see every time you bring me go few rounds also I quiet quiet, didn't demand more one....'
Kaima sayang my face,
she hold my cheek and said
'Aiyooooo so pandai cakap! when I say want to bring you go, all sweet words can melted my heart... ok la ok la, you guai guai, next time I bring you go!'
Then I said
'You see, you are like my closest person like that, I knew you sayang me the most, even my dad and mum also never bring me go, but you bring me go some more~!! I know you're the one who most sayang me in the world, like my nanny like that, when I was young, she pampered me a lot until I cannot forget her kinds until now, she knew I liked to drink coffees and everyday definitely wants to eat sweets, she everyday feed me black coffee although it's harmful, and also everyday she will asked her son fetched me go buy the sweets I want in the evening. But my parents wont one... they loved me, but they wont pampered me.... so now, you're just like my second nanny, so sayang me until pampered me everything, know I like to go Pn Lye house, then bring me go every time when I come back....'
She said
'Ya la, I bring you go only I can explain to your parents mah, I can tell your parents, I bring you go Pn Lye darent do anything to you one... because I am beside you to protect you, so that your parents can be more fang xing.... and dont let them worry so much.... and on another side, I'm protecting you, when Pn lye see you're with me, how dare she does anything to you?'
I rubbed kaima's face and said
'Yes yes yes!! You treated me very good, I love you! I love you in the world the most, I never ever love other so much any more... you're the maximum one... I love you I miss you, talk to you tomorrow.... hope you dream of me and hope I dream of disturb Pn Lye!'
She laughed and said
'Hahahaha sampat lah ni ! So early ask me to sleep d meh?'
I said
'Eh....... ok la... this Rm100, you return to her lar... I dont want already... I pluck off this paper and keep enough, the money you help me return to her enough.'
She said
'How can return? Later she knows I tell you how?'
I said
'Ok ok dont return, dont let her know you tell me, if not next time when she sees me very paiseh... she always paiseh paiseh one... she always paiseh for nothing and daren't look at me.'
Kaima said
'Ya la... you know then good.... hahahaha! You said Pn Lye Paiseh Paiseh... hen hao xiao! Haha! Abi you not lagi paiseh? When she said how can she becomes barber, how if she cut out the hairstyle like her? You lagi paiseh, whole face become red and daren't look at her! Hehehehe!!! Sampat one you....'
I said
'Ya la... because I cannot bear people paiseh, I will even more paiseh than that person one...'
She said
'You know why or not?'
I said
'Dont know'
She said
'Because you help that person feel paiseh ! Hahahaha!'
I said
'Really?'
She said
'Really la.... you dont know meh? Sometimes is like that one, you will have that feeling, because you feel shameful of that person...'
I said
'But I'm not her, the hairstyle is not with me, how can you say I help that person paiseh?'
She said
'Aiya, like that means like that one la... is normal reaction... but your paiseh very cute, hehehe! Just now Pn Lye and me can't stop laughing, your face red until like that.... Hahahaha! You so cute one...'
I asked
'Why her husband treated her so bad she still want to get married with him?'
when I asked this, Kaima suddenly laughed like hell,
she laughed and said
'Hahaha! Why you so funny one, asked this question....'
I said
'No, I just feel very weird, why a person treat her badly, she still want to get married with him? Not get married with the person we like only meh?'
She said
'Aiya, sometimes not lucky lo, before get married the husband still good good mah, after get married changed another person.'
I said
'Eiiii I got one relative also... she divorced with her husband after get married....'
She said
'Ya lo, that 's why next time you must see chun chun.... see betul betul really good one only get married ok? Find someone like your father, faithful and wealthy....'
I said
'But, is not her fault also, how she knows he will be bad in the future?'
She said
'Ya la, is not her fault, but just not lucky only, nothing else... Just be more careful when you finding a partner... like this time if you had someone who never treasure of you, say himself can come can come, but eventually never come, dont bother of you one, you can just let go and find a good one. Because someone who is not concern you before you get married with him, what to say about after get married?'
And then,
I used my new facial foam to scrubbed my face with its brush,
the final stage of tidying myself was wearing a new Pronto watch which just bought from daddy last night, it's RM1300K, a must to wear it.
Indeed, I'm a swagger now.
I'm wearing a Pronto watch, Gap tee, skater skirt, Zara flats and glamorous nail polish today...
Perfectly,
we heading to La Bodega at a quarter of ten,
I drive my eldest sis and daddy rode another car,
when we reached there, right in front of Labodega,
I reached first where daddy's car was behind of me,
when I stopped at the parking slot right in front of Labodega,
I saw three empty slots with three divider blocking respectively at the slot,
eldest sis went down the car and helped me removed the divider,
the holy crap body guard stopped her from doing that,
he said
'Sorry cik, nanti sini ada orang nak park.'
He putted back the divider into origin,
then when daddy's car came forward,
he removed the divider and let daddy parked the slot.
Shit !
Just couldn't understand why these slaves are so meant and realistic,
when he seen I drive Jazz he took away our 'first reach' priority and given the priority to Datukship car.
After that,
the next two parking slot was available when a vehicle came out.
We (daddy, eldest and me) got down the car altogether and walked towards Labodega,
the two security guards were shocked when he saw we knew each another.
Sweat ! Both of them are too realistic and pathetic,
I told daddy about that,
he smirked and said
'Haha! Is like that one... you drive compact car, nobody will serves you.'
Well,
just ignore the bad things and focus at the beautiful thing,
we find a good and quiet place - at the middle of the store, right in front of the big window to enjoy the breezy wind.
The restaurant is so empty, perhaps due to the weekday working hour.
We daughters spent our great time with our only one father in the world,
the feeling is so awesome,
this is something that sons unable do that :)
That is why people admired parents who have daughters and prefer to have a daughter in this 21st era.
We ordered a Spain La Bodega big breakfast set with add on of a hot caramel latte and a glass of apple juice,
whereas daddy ordered a simple breakfast set with add on of black coffee and celery juice to reduce his high blood pressure.
They even disturbed me by saying both are apple juices, asked me to tried it.
When I had a sip on the celery juice,
the feeling was so yuckyyyy!
When I uttered a yuckssss sound,
they laughed at my innocence :P
During that lengthy breakfast,
we sat and chat and laughed for whatsoever jokes,
the journey of this breakfast wasn't tedious at all,
the whole restaurant only contained our laughter because there's no one out there,
so relaxed and comfortable,
finally I knew the definition of being the lucky one whom able to provides the joy into the family.
Certainly,
happiness and wealth often do not intersect,
people who born in a well-off family usually doesn't have the priority to enjoy the happiness,
whereas people who born in a happy family generally are not really financial lucky,
thereby I realised that I'm kinda lucky because I have both wealth and happiness,
daddy is able to buy me anything and we interact happily,
I'm the one who always bring joys and laughter into the family,
where despondency is rarely happen in our family.
Big house, luxury cars and the compact cars, servant and driver,
I'm actually blissful than what I expected when I was little,
when I was tender,
I used to be thinking that I wished to be happier and wealthier,
now I'm contented with everything I had,
I'm not greedy and I knew that's the boundary of materialistic life.
People always say human's desire is limitless,
when someone reaches a certain boundary,
they will expect more and become more depressive when they fail to get their materialistic target.
Yet,
I feel that I wasn't that bad and I'm actually contented for what I having now,
which caused my personality so easy-going or 'up to you'.
I not really care about what people say because I have a sense of strong ego that I knew who I am which caused me to think "up to you" that you think how I am or who I am.
Anyway,
this is a good thing, because I feel that this concept lead me to a high quality of morality,
whatever people did to me,
I used to thinking "up to you" how you treated me,
because as long as I never feel sorry to you I'm in the right track and keeping up my virtue.
The reason that I doing the good deeds in the world not for sake of getting good return from god,
but to create happiness for others.
Perhaps,
people used to think that I'm mentally ill or the crazy one,
because they assume that I do things for no reasons and don't know why I just give a lending hand without getting any benefits.
People might perceive it's a kind of stupidity,
but I personally feel the excited of helping someone.
I am fond with buying a favorite thing for others,
and when I seeing people is excited with the new thing or seems like so useful to others,
I'll become so excited and happy because I feel that I'm helping someone.
Finally,
I understood daddy's explanation yesterday,
he explained to me the reason of praying a decease,
I asked him a question
'Why human died already we still have to pray them? Do they knew we praying them and do they really live better in their death world?'
Daddy answered me
'No, I believed that they dont know we prayed them, died already means nothing already, but the ritual of praying is for sake of our own comfort, is like a respect to them, like we still care them even they died, something like this, is like a ritual to commemorate them.'
Today,
I understood his explanation by my own way,
I knew that it just like helping someone for my own comfort,
although nobody knows I'm actually helping another, but I just want to help out for my own comfort and happiness,
I love to help out the poor,
people say I'm an extraordinary rich kid,
the circumstance of being 'extraordinary' refers that I am unlike other rich kid,
one of my MMU friends said
'Hey! You really good ler, I didn't expect that you'll think like that, I feel that you're unlike other rich kid.'
I asked her
'Why? You mean usually rich kid won't behave like me?'
She said
'Ermmmm maybe the rich kids I met are unlike you, they are more cool and unconcerned, usually focus themselves more rather than concerning others. For example, the pajamas party, you still will say dont have pajamas never mind, the most important is we play happily, and ask me to wear loose loose can already. If for other rich kids, if you dont have pajamas, they will straight dont care and implied you dont come already. Because they need their faces more than anything.'
I said
'Ohhhh, for me, I want a perfect theme too, but I knew everyone come from a different family, to make the situation equals, we just try the best we can do, if I come from a well-off family, I just try to wear the best, whereas for those who come from lower standard family, just try to wear loose loose to match the theme can already, however wear what also not important, the most important is happiness.'
She said
'I got pajamas, I got pajamas! I already bought it, but the thing is I dont know makeup, I dont know dressing, because you know? My mum is a teacher, I came from a very simple family, so I totally never get in touch with this type of situation before... Hey! You really lucky lerrrr.... you anak datuk always can attend party or prom night or those dinner-dinner, I, as a teacher's kid, rarely attend this type of occasion, so totally dont know how to dress up.'
I said
'Hey! I got one friend, she also a teacher's kid, almost same like you one, she don't know make up at all and the way she dressed up also very random one, got one time she came and pick me for dinner at Damansara Japanese restaurant, she wore one grey blouse with white pants only, then I laughed and ask her why she wear like that? She said she never dress up one and usually wear like that go out.'
She said
'Yea yea yea! I also like that one, when I go shopping I wear home blouse, because I dont have a lot of dresses.'
I said
'Ya! My that friend also same like you one, I think both of you look the same, I'm quite close with her, her birthday present I still bought a set of Elizabeth Arden makeup set for her, ask her don't think of because expensive, then don't practice make up, I tell her actually that makeup set very cheap only, ask her don't worry.'
She said
'Heyyyyy you really good lerrrr, your personality really unlike normal rich kids, can't predict that you still will mix teachers kids....'
I said
'Yeah, I think friendship this type of thing is depends on fate one... whoever we met are actually designed by god, I have many classmates are teacher's kids... you know my birthday party?'
She said
'Yeah I knew I saw in facebook.'
I said
'Yeah, during my birthday, among all got two of them are teacher's kids....'
She said
'Ya meh?? Ehhhh really can't see out leh.... When I first had a glance at your birthday party, I thought everyone came from upper family background, because everyone wear so glamorous and the background was so classy, that time Yi Min got asked me to come to your birthday party, but that time I don't have confidence to attend your party, because I don't dare to attend high class occasion, I scared I will behave awkwardly due to never attend before, and at that time, I don't have any high class dresses and dont know make up at all, then think of so many people, very troublesome, don't have this and that, so just never go. Paiseh leh....'
I said
'No, never mind, we still can throw a small party if you are not comfortable in the big party.'
She said
'I wish I can attend that type of high-end party, wearing pretty and take pics with a lot of high-end people, but I just dont have that type of confidence...'
I said
'Actually you are good looking, if you don't want to dress up yourself before you get into 30 years old, you'll regret for your whole life.'
She said
'Yeah! A lot people also told me I'm pretty and good looking, and I need to be more confidence and dressing, but the thing is my mum is a teacher, I scared later people will gossip behind me, say me like you see this teacher's kid, want to act rich... those things...'
I said
'Aiya! No such thing one la... dont listen them... every woman have own rights to beautify own self regardless of what our parents work as, because no one can defined our parent's occupation, we are destined to have them... on another way of thinking, you have to think when you beautify yourself, people look upon you and say waaa this Xi Yan so pretty, so elegant, can't see out she's teacher kid hor.... you see! Much better right? So it still depends on how we think, we have to try to make things better instead of keep things in the same standard.... For an example, if you have low confidence, always scared that people will laugh at you because of you dressing up as a poor kid, you'll be that standard forever, if you try to improve yourself, all good things will come ahead, confidence improve, thinking improve, relationship improve and everything become better. Right?'
She said
'Heyyyy your words inspired me, I like the way you talked.'
I said
'Yeah, so overall, it still depends on how you think? The most important thing is be yourself, ignore what people talk about you, because no matter how good you did, it's impossible the whole world agree you, there must be someone badmouth you due to different opinion or disagreement. Like me, I can't say that there's no one badmouth me behind of me because of my fancy life, but who cares? If I dont have fancy life also will got people badmouth me, why not I choose the better way to live my life since it still the same?'
She said
'Heyyy ok ok! After you said like that, I really feel right, I will attend the pajamas party and wear fancily... but the thing is I dont know make up even I practiced a few times already.'
I said
'Make up is not a problem, I can helped you and teach you when I'm helping you to make up, I can tell you the procedure and technique, I can also use my hair curler help you curl your hair.'
She clapped her hand happily and said
'Ok ok ok! Hey you very good, I love your character, rich, but kind and helpful, not selfish. You're my first good rich friend.'
I said
'Haiyo! Dont think yourself so bad la, teacher kids weren't that bad also, your mum is a teacher, try to think about those who work as government cleaner or hawker staffs, not even worst?!'
She said
'Yeah yeah! Also true, hey you really boost up my confidence and let me think I actually wasn't that bad... really thank you.'
I said
'I'm actually telling the truth, I dont perceive teacher's kids as poor, but impossible they are rich only, they are the average income family, impossible poor also.'
She said
'Yea yea! Actually my family is not poor, we still have a normal life, but dont have the fancy life like you only. Because my mum and my dad is normal workers, so we dont have that type of high-end function to let us attend, that is the reason I don't know dress up.'
After that,
I opened my instagram and showed her Sherryn's instagram,
I said
'Nah! Look this! Do you think person look rich or poor?'
She scrolled down with her fingers and clicked in some pictures and had a glance,
without hesitating,
she said
'She looked really rich. What her parent worked as?'
I said
'She is same like you, her mum is also a teacher.'
She was amazed, she said
'Wa! Really ah?! Hey cant see out! Her life look fancy and so enjoy, always eat good foods.'
I said
'There! That is what I want to tell you, we rule our life by our own confidence, without confidence, we just have that type of low-end life, with confidence, you can same like this person, so this is what we can decide who we wants to be, the more confidence we have, the higher social ladder we climb up. So, our parents social status doesnt define our social standing, the real social standing is actually rule by our own decision, everyone can who we desire in this world, whether you want to be success or have your current stable life.'
She said
'Ok ok ok! Since today onward, I want to be like you, live my own life and be who I want, you teach me make up ok?'
I said
'Okay! No problem.... Whenever I come back Malaysia, I can teach you when you're free.'
She said
'Heyyyy I will really treasure you this friend, you're too good already, previously, I dont even have guts to mix with rich kids due to my family background. Now, I think I really find a true rich friend who are so generous and easy-going.'
Well, back to point,
after our scrumptious breakfast,
we head back to home to prepare ourselves for Chinese New Year eve dinner,
when we reached home,
we saw mommy, little brother and driver were cleaning the house,
holding the water pipe, spraying around and ordering each other to do something.
It gave me a sense of happiness that I felt my family is so concrete and complete,
daughters spent time with daddy in accompanying him for breakfast whilst son spent time with mommy for cleaning the house.
How awesome is that to have this feeling,
I guess that's the reason of getting married and building up a family.
This made me instantaneously realized how pity she was,
when I visited her house, without her knowing,
I saw she's rubbing her gate alone, no maid, no servant, no kids helping.
She rubbed the gate by her fingers, changed the bucket water by herself, carried the new bucket water alone and squeezed the mop clothes alone,
nobody helps her in the process of cleaning,
she done it all the way by herself.
Subsequently, the cleaning flashbacks made me recalled of what Kaima told me,
she said
'Actually she very pity one... her husband dont care her, everything she done by herself one... everything she paid it herself one know? The house installment, car installment and all the expenses of her children... So, forgive her if she had any previous emotional toll, you can also realised this from her children... you see her children also all the emotions get affected due to this reason...'
I said
'Why will get affected? why they just dont want ignore the problem and live a normal life?'
She said
'You think very easy meh? If your parents quarrel here and there, you will also be unhappy.... That's why you can see that Lye Chuin Li very bad...'
I said
'Lye Chuin Li very bad?'
She said
'Ya her youngest daughter, what name? I heard they said she very bad in school one right?'
I said
'Dont know... I dont know how she behaved in school, but can see out she dont have good temper lo... from the way she interacted with me la...'
She said
'Anoh! That's why... so you must appreciate what you having now... you see! She no money d, still give you RM100. Actually she is not that bad, but just sometimes emotions affected her only... she cannot control herself... so just simply come...'
I said
'What do you mean she cannot control herself? Means she dont know what she is doing?'
She said
'Knew! She know what she is doing, but just cannot stop doing something only... like she told me she hold knife point at you right?'
I said
'ah, when she told you?'
She said
'Got quite some time already... she said she suddenly feel bad and said she took knife point at you... and want to cut your hand right?'
I said
'I almost forgot already.... I just remember she wants to draw one line on my hand...'
Then she said
'Ya lo... aiya actually both of u also pity... I dont know how to weigh the situation, you got your own suffering, and she got her own suffering, it caused both of you torture each other...'
I said
'Actually, she is more pity than me, and I feel that I am not pity at all, because at least my father still got money even I'm unhappy all the way, she's even worst, no money and unhappy...'
She said
'Ya lo... but what to do? This is fate lo... she since young dont have a good fate, last time she's really poor, she's the youngest one, now when she get old already, still have to take care her sick mom, nobody wants to take care, and people ask her to take care...'
I asked
'What about her father?'
She said
'Her father died when she was 5 years old.'
I startled and said
'Ohhhh! That's why just now when I said hk mum very pity, her mum never know how to love her child because her mum's mum died when her mum was 4 years old. Then I saw both of you looking at each other for 5 seconds like that, at that time, I still dont know her dad also like that, that is why I wonder why both of you looking each other like I guessed correct anything already like that.'
She said
'Ya la, actually her situation is almost the same as hk mum.... overly stressed lo.'
I said
'Why overly stressed will caused someone abused someone?'
She said
'Will la, because like emotional burst like that mah, once she burst out her negative emotions, she feels more released, like when you get angry, after you beat someone, you will feel better because your negative energy is vented. '
I said
'Hmmmmm, very hard to imagine the feeling, because I never do that before so I dont know what's the actual feeling.'
LOL ! Kaima said
'Hahahaha! You better don't behave like her and find someone to beat wor.... its better to get one sandbag and put it in your room and beat it when you get angry.'
I said
'Hahaha! I dont want... sandbag so hard and concrete, punch one time my hand already painful.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Hahaha!!! Ya lo.... dont beat la...'
I asked her
'Eh, Pn Lye always beat me, and she can beat me so many times at once, her hand wont tired meh? Keep swinging, I mean her arm and elbow.... the mechanism can function for so long without tired meh?'
Kaima laughed like hell when I asked like that seriously,
she said
'Hahahaha! How I know? Maybe wont la, because she got played badminton mah, her arm also swung like this... so maybe she beat you like how she play badminton, swing for few hours also no problem....'
I said
'Ya lo... sometimes I will think of this question, when she beat me during add math day, her hand wont tired meh? Beat beat beat like that and dont want rest at all.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Hahaha why when I look at your face, I keep on want to laugh out, why you ask till so serious? Your face very cute hahahaha!'
I said
'No ah, i'm seriously asking a question because i'm curious why she can beat so many times and not tired... she also never tell me she's tired at all... she still can har one sound beat one time, or else she will har har har har, and beat beat beat beat! After that, she talk one or two sentences, then she can continue beat again.'
Kaima touch my hand and legs,
she look at me fondly,
she said
'Aiyoooo, you so kesian, let her beat until like that, when I saw the pics also I very sin tia... look like you went through extreme pain....'
I said
'Aiyo dont say like that la, I'm ok one.... when she beat me, I will only angry at the moment she make me angry, after that when I went home, the second day I didn't angry any more, I try to anger, but dont have that type of anger any more, like last time when I was young, my dad always beat me, then I told myself since today onward, I want to hate my dad and dont talk to him any more, but the second day the feeling fade off already, I still talk to him after every time he beat me. So Pn Lye also same, when she beat me, I feel a strong sense of anger towards her, but after a few days, I can talked to you like jokes only. You see, I just mentioned why she keep on beat me like that her hand wont tired meh? Keep swinging non stop....'
Kaima said
'Ya lo... my guai kai loi.... never bear grudge one...'
I said
'Actually I slowly realised that the reason I go her house is not because of revenge, its because of dont want forget her.'
Kaima laughed and said
'Shi meh? Jiang Dao Jiang Hao Ting!'
(Ya meh? Say until so nice)
LOL! I said
'Shi la!!! Seriously!!! My subconscious told me one.... you see! If I really want to revenge, I already caused harm to her seriously already, like break her tyre or act like Tai Yi Long already... I also never do anything, put the stones and throw parking coupons....'
She said
'Oh yeah ehhhh... you never say like that also I never realised.... Ok lo, since you are not revenging, but just dont want forget her, next time you come back, I every time bring you to her house ok?'
I said
'Ok ok! I also promised me turn few rounds then can go back d, you see every time you bring me go few rounds also I quiet quiet, didn't demand more one....'
Kaima sayang my face,
she hold my cheek and said
'Aiyooooo so pandai cakap! when I say want to bring you go, all sweet words can melted my heart... ok la ok la, you guai guai, next time I bring you go!'
Then I said
'You see, you are like my closest person like that, I knew you sayang me the most, even my dad and mum also never bring me go, but you bring me go some more~!! I know you're the one who most sayang me in the world, like my nanny like that, when I was young, she pampered me a lot until I cannot forget her kinds until now, she knew I liked to drink coffees and everyday definitely wants to eat sweets, she everyday feed me black coffee although it's harmful, and also everyday she will asked her son fetched me go buy the sweets I want in the evening. But my parents wont one... they loved me, but they wont pampered me.... so now, you're just like my second nanny, so sayang me until pampered me everything, know I like to go Pn Lye house, then bring me go every time when I come back....'
She said
'Ya la, I bring you go only I can explain to your parents mah, I can tell your parents, I bring you go Pn Lye darent do anything to you one... because I am beside you to protect you, so that your parents can be more fang xing.... and dont let them worry so much.... and on another side, I'm protecting you, when Pn lye see you're with me, how dare she does anything to you?'
I rubbed kaima's face and said
'Yes yes yes!! You treated me very good, I love you! I love you in the world the most, I never ever love other so much any more... you're the maximum one... I love you I miss you, talk to you tomorrow.... hope you dream of me and hope I dream of disturb Pn Lye!'
She laughed and said
'Hahahaha sampat lah ni ! So early ask me to sleep d meh?'
I said
'Eh....... ok la... this Rm100, you return to her lar... I dont want already... I pluck off this paper and keep enough, the money you help me return to her enough.'
She said
'How can return? Later she knows I tell you how?'
I said
'Ok ok dont return, dont let her know you tell me, if not next time when she sees me very paiseh... she always paiseh paiseh one... she always paiseh for nothing and daren't look at me.'
Kaima said
'Ya la... you know then good.... hahahaha! You said Pn Lye Paiseh Paiseh... hen hao xiao! Haha! Abi you not lagi paiseh? When she said how can she becomes barber, how if she cut out the hairstyle like her? You lagi paiseh, whole face become red and daren't look at her! Hehehehe!!! Sampat one you....'
I said
'Ya la... because I cannot bear people paiseh, I will even more paiseh than that person one...'
She said
'You know why or not?'
I said
'Dont know'
She said
'Because you help that person feel paiseh ! Hahahaha!'
I said
'Really?'
She said
'Really la.... you dont know meh? Sometimes is like that one, you will have that feeling, because you feel shameful of that person...'
I said
'But I'm not her, the hairstyle is not with me, how can you say I help that person paiseh?'
She said
'Aiya, like that means like that one la... is normal reaction... but your paiseh very cute, hehehe! Just now Pn Lye and me can't stop laughing, your face red until like that.... Hahahaha! You so cute one...'
I asked
'Why her husband treated her so bad she still want to get married with him?'
when I asked this, Kaima suddenly laughed like hell,
she laughed and said
'Hahaha! Why you so funny one, asked this question....'
I said
'No, I just feel very weird, why a person treat her badly, she still want to get married with him? Not get married with the person we like only meh?'
She said
'Aiya, sometimes not lucky lo, before get married the husband still good good mah, after get married changed another person.'
I said
'Eiiii I got one relative also... she divorced with her husband after get married....'
She said
'Ya lo, that 's why next time you must see chun chun.... see betul betul really good one only get married ok? Find someone like your father, faithful and wealthy....'
I said
'But, is not her fault also, how she knows he will be bad in the future?'
She said
'Ya la, is not her fault, but just not lucky only, nothing else... Just be more careful when you finding a partner... like this time if you had someone who never treasure of you, say himself can come can come, but eventually never come, dont bother of you one, you can just let go and find a good one. Because someone who is not concern you before you get married with him, what to say about after get married?'
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