life-long insecure

Hoping that she could gives me more assurance and less insecure,

the wounded heart still needed a certain endless time to heal its wound.

Sullen days neither say hi nor bye,

it just came that way when the trauma of seventeen arrived,

and it does not says bid-bye despite apology was something most taken aback. 

Most excruciatingly,

there's a significant degree of resentment found in between our souls,

we can't deny that we didn't hate or never hurt each another before,

I was feeling so insecure that she'll stop treating me good in one day and back to the origin which cruel is the only oxygen in my world.

I'm so fearful to pull through that kind of horrible life, what I can describe is the pain is limitless.

I'm slightly glad that it's been a past yet worry that it's not even a past.

I hope that we really can be friend forever despite we hold a certain age gap. LOL!

Wishing that the life-long insecure could be cease and the nightly nightmares could be switch-off.

Vividly recalled the poor days when I shouted I'm in pain,

what I gotten were the great ignorance and the enormous pain which exerted on my fragile body,

I was being physically pulled on the stony street, being lashed out with whatsoever objects that she's holding, being threatened like there's no law in the world any more, being screamed like there's no one else in this world any more, 

"cried no tears and yelled no saliva" is what I can said.

The feeling was my skin almost being tore out and my eardrum almost crack.

Indeed, I really hate those olden days that she treated me badly,

how I wish I have some videos to prove how painful I was,

till now, she said she wants to sayang me, I still don't believe those kind words came from her true piece of heart.

Anyway,

 I always told myself that I not really care how she treated me,

because reputation is what others think of us, but character is what God knows of us.

So far, we are still good,

we talked to each other long lasting two hours, it's something unpredictable but imaginable, and she didn't meant to harm me.

Well,

the rehabilitation considered excellent and I could say that it's quite a speedy recovery for me :)

I hope it's not a short-changed and I am expecting the long good time between us.

I am expecting every year's red packet,  hehe! 

I'm not sort of greedy, but a little contentment to get rid the  massive insecure in my deep down.