secret leakage

Now,

my deep down having a sort of deep compunction for possibly blamed the wrong person for the secret leakage,

I can't bear such a strong guiltiness in this late midnight,

he being blamed and scolded by me innocently.

When I confronted him and asked him why he betrayed me,

he was like

'Clar, really not me, please trust me, I really never tell me.'

And, at that moment I was in a furious state,

I said

'Not you still got who? Everyone told me it was you.'

He said

'Really not me. Maybe she told pl, and pl is the one who leak out.'

I said

'You dont try to bluff, Pn Lye dont even know this, I knew its you. I just feel like whenever I near you one second, I am harming myself for two seconds.'

*And then hang up the phone call that way and blocked him in facebook and think of not to talk to this person any more.

Till now,

I still couldn't be able to figure out who is the person who uncorked this secret,

but when facing the logical aspect,

I think the leaker might be Pn Lye and maybe not hk,

but he just get scolded unreasonably and innocently.

From his voice,

it sounds like the leaker wasn't him,

because the person who blurt out this secret is an old aunty who has a pretty old age,

it much look like Pn Lye's peer circle.

Sigh,

just feel like my life is a mess now,

I trusted enemy and instead distrusted the person who loved me.

I felt so puzzled and overwhelmed over this issue now.

this secret leakage drove me mad and over pressure.

I knew it's the matter of trust,

I knew she wouldn't betray me.

Jesus, please help me.

I don't want to hate her any more.
I feel so exhausted over this long-run resentment,

let me have a breathable space as well as rights to know what I have had encountered on that day.

I really need to know,

if not, I will just brush off this life.