My little inner voice

In this late midnight 3 o'clock,

I do really feel like I am suffocating from my inner hidden suffering.

Indeed,

I am attribute to weak as the weak can never forgive,

 forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Yet, in my early 20's,

I carry around a lot of anger in my life towards a person in life.

I'd been hurt by a person who are occupational trusted,

and for a long time of my adolescence I cried and depressed a lot.

I lived in painful stories and in visions of I been remorse of my initial action which brought myself up to this stage.

I blamed myself for the normal life that I didn't had as well as felt vindicated in the soul-sucking resentment I carried around from day to day.

Anyhow,

I realize it makes less compelling writing to talk so generally,

but these stories aren't only mine to tell, it's actually about both sides.

They involve someone I hate but start to forgiven.

So perhaps the kindest thing that I can do for both of us is not to retell nor reheard the story,

but instead create a new happy one to let go.

To be frankly,

it's a tough thing to do - to completely let go of something painful and forgive the person who may or may not realized what they did.

In this circumstance,

I guessed most probably she did not recognizes the reason of her action at all;

hence, this is my angriest point,

I think she done those hurtful actions unreasonably with the addition of without conscience,

I was convinced the person who hurt me did it with full intention and cruelty.

Absolutely, 

I felt not a shred of compassion as a teacher; just unadulterated pain and rage.

Slightly later,

then I realized if she'd hurt another person,

even if her ego prevents her from admitting those freaking cruel actions,

odds are the pure elements for her to feel remorse on some level.

However,

I understand that no one is purely bad,

and everyone carries their own pain which influences the decisions they make,

now I knew family stress is the main source of her action,

but still this doesn't condone her silly, thoughtless, insensitive and selfish decisions.

I know I still have to forgive her in this situation as all of us been thoughtless, insensitive and selfish at times.

Generally, we have good intentions.

And most of the time,

we all do the best we can from day to day - even when we hurt someone, we hurt them in the least painful way like pressing their bell or putting stones to annoyed them, LOL;

even when we're too stubborn, ashamed, or in denial to admit the hurt we've caused.

Therefore I think about forgive someone when every my neurons structure being resists,

I pondered about how I look at them lovingly when I still have the memory of their unloving action,

this is what I told datin too, I am always treating my sis good despite she treated me evilly,

because I just feel like I am contented when doing my own role while people's doing god looking.

Now,

I truly believed that things would be entirely different if they made a different choice or did a wiser action.