Video of emotionally unstable

Today,

Datin showed me my video of emotionally unstable when accepting the facts.

*Play below videos and have a watch.

I don't know why I behaved that way and we were laughing out loud altogether when reviewed back,

I asked Datin a question

'Why when she apologized, she seemed so aggressive rather than polite? She expressed her sincerity by showing high aggressiveness.'

When Datin heard I said so,

Datin even can't stop laughing for a minute and said

'Hahahahaha!!!! True true true! When reviewed back really cant stop laughing both of you!'

I replayed the video and said

'Here here here, you look at her face and her hand... why she so aggressive when saying sorry?'

Datin said

'Because actually she keep saying she dont have the chance to say sorry to you, so when she got the chance to say, she feel like she has to speak it fast, like quickly tell like that.... you never see she keep on said sincerely apologize sincerely apologize... keep on repeat her words...'

I said

'But I was there already, why she still so aggressive? Cannot talk slowly meh?'

Datin said

'Because you keep on refused to listen, so when she knows she got no chance to tell you next time, she became like that... keep on hurry.... sincerely sorry sincerely sorry sincerely sorry like that...'

I said

'Why she said no chance? I every time went her house not chance?'

Datin said

'Because she knew you scared of her mah, so when you saw her you quickly ran away....'

I said

'Then one of the time that Tuesday night, we face to face she never say....'

Datin said

'Aiya.... that is why I said chance is rare, not every time when she saw you, she got the courage to tell it out, this kind of thing have to plan and cool down ones....'

I said

'I dont dare I dont dare I dont dare to listen... I scared when I heard the add math incident from her, and when I making eye contact with her, both of us resemble walk back to the scene, very painful I very scared....'

Datin said

'Yes I understand what you said and can imagined the situation, actually this is a psychology thing for people who gone through trauma, so that is why a true psychologist want to heal a traumatize person they usually did it that way... they try to stimulate the traumatize person by talking about it and observe the patient's response... '

I said

'I dont know why I response that way, I just scared I walk back to the painful scene, so I uttered loud voice to let myself heard my own voice instead of her voice. Because whenever I got the flashbacks in mind, I could feel the real pain on my leg which is the exact pain for that real moment. I very scared, because now I already evade the pain so I very scared to feel back that pain on my leg. I dont know how to describe that pain on my leg, but I only could say just like the feeling of a sharp edge keep cutting on your skin.'

Datin said

'She used what beaten you?'

I said

'A very long and thin cane. Like the feeling of knife edge cut on skin, so when she caned me on bench, I non stop kicking because the pain is too tremendous already. So when she said sorry to me I will think of the moment when I struggling on bench and can feel the real imaginary pain. That is why I avoid listen to her apologize.'

Datin said

'No la, she already forgot that incident, her sorry is talking about other thing.'

I said

'What thing she still could say sorry to me? Not that one still got what? She also knew I only angry her about that incident.'

Datin said

'No la, when she told me she talked about put dog into your car, cut your hair, hit you using spatula and using wood only...'

I said

'She where got cut my hair?'

She said

'Got she told me ones... she said cut with knife....'

After I think about around 5 seconds,

I said

'Ohhhh got got got... I remembered already... the silver color rectangular mincing knife... her daughter is normal vege knife...'

Datin said

'Ahhhh.... hahaha! Even you yourself also can forgot! Funny! And she told me: Wa pang kao di yi ye chia.... then I said: Lu ai si ah??!!! Yi ani kia gao... lu pang gao di yi ye chia.... hahaha!'

I said

'How she knows I scared of dog ones? I never tell her before?'

She said

'Initially she dont know ones... she said see your response then knew already....'

I said

'Anah I very scared of dog ones... since born already scared until now... that day her house there, neighbour dog looked at me at the roadside, then when I ran, the dog came and chased me, I cried and ran away...'

She said

'Dont run dont run.... when you see dog, you dont run, if not they will chase ones...'

 I said

'But when the dog looked at me and walked towards me then I ran already... I very scared...'

She said

'Ya la... I know... people who scared of dog is like that ones... got phobia in heart...'

I said

'Actually she put dog in car, I still not that angry lah, that one still normal, because I think at least I never get injured, and just temporarily scared only, after I went back home I never think of her dog already... usually what I will remember is the times when she beat me... if she got beat only I angry only, the rest I never angry... the most angry is add math, suddenly beat without any reason... She never talk about add math?'

She said

'Got lah... haha....'

I said

'see! I knew she sure remembered add math ones... because she knew I only hate her for one thing.... she said add math this two words ah?'

She said

'No la... she just said last paper only, so when she mentioned last paper, I knew is add math lah....'

I said

'What she said about add math? She remembered which part? Thats the thing I wanted to know only I can put down everything.'

Datin said

'She said the same thing as Jun lo.... she said she threw the dustbin cover at you but didn't kena you...'

I said

'Har! Pn Lye also said like that? Means Jun really saw?'

Datin said 

'Ya la...she remembered, she told me she throw at you but didn't kena...'

I said

'But I dont remembered she got threw me.... In my impression, there is nothing else on the scene, only got cane only... I dont remember got dustbin cap.... what Jun said some more and what Pn lye said?'

Datin said

'Jun said she took thing hit your head and took dustbin cover throw at you, and Pn lye just said took dustbin cover throw at you.... I believed Jun really got saw la... because Jun said the same thing as Pn Lye, but PN Lye dont know Jun knew....you get what I mean?'

I said

'Ohhhh knew knew knew... means Jun saw and told you that PN lye took dustbin cover throw at me and then later only Pn lye told you the same thing?'

Datin said

'Ahhhhhh....'

I said

'Dont know I dont remembered.... I only remembered lye chuin li went up get cane and when came down both of them caned me left and right on my leg only....'

Datin said

'Ya, you got partially memory lost for the scene, because you already traumatized and ki siao at that moment already.... you only remembered the most traumatized scene and forgot the other supplementary scenes.... like more minor ones you forgotten...'

I said

'Until now I still very scared of Pn Lye... I scared she come and mentioned about add math to me, I really scared that moment.... I dont want walk back to past, my leg will very pain.... now I am worrying your son's wedding... I scared I will see her.'

Datin said

'Dont worry dont worry... she never comes....'

I said

'Ok ok ok! Dont bluff me ah.... since that day, I really scared of her already, I really scared I heard the scene one more time...'