Nightmare

I loathe the repetitive nightmares that never gone in my life,

I hatred it so much why it just never stop bothering me every night,

it really scary and terrible, it never fails to awake me in every midnight,

and the most painful thing was I slept till the next day with full of scary contents.

Her ill hearted impression in my mind is still so vivid and unforgettable which made me couldn't wake up from the nightmare because I still thought it was real.

Sometimes,

apologize and promises significant nothing.

Honestly I still feel really insecure all the time because I am still afraid she'll harms me in one day.

Indeed,

memories are the most brutal thing in the world because it won't disappear as your wish.

Frankly speaking,

I wish I could 'throw dust in my own eyes' so that I could awake from this harsh reality,

I always told myself that all my dreams are unreal and every bad things gonna end soon as we are already true friends instead of 'ABCD' friends.

Nevertheless,

I still lost faith in her occasionally because her undertaking is never an undertaking.

She always attempted to deceived me by her own explanations,

and talk over something to justified her position.

I knew she cheated me and back stabbed me a couple of times despite we have friended. 

The first time she back stabbed me, I assumed it as her sudden unchanged habit.

The second time she back stabbed me, I ignored it because I know by all means she needs some time to alter herself into a warm hearted person.

And the third time, she back stabbed me again,

I used to consoled myself she wasn't intentional and she's an immaculate person,

it just her impulsive trait rather than purposely harmed me.

Desperately,

I'm always 'down in the mouth' easily,

or perhaps I'm overly sensitive in every matters about her.

I used to perceived it as negativity due to the excessive hurts in past.

When she speaks her mind,

I will always think that she is trying to brainwash me or to a significant degree I shouldn't believe her easily.

Well,

these days I'm certainly stressed-out too much and having a lot of blues,

particularly after I started my job,

I tend to think everything in a more negative way.

Or should I say perhaps Sherryn has started her training thus when nobody 'purify' my negative thinking,

I'll getting worst and worst and thinking that she's the worst in the world;

she's unchanged, she's harmful, she's faking kind and so on.

However,

I still enjoyed my job a lot despite many of my friends advised me to stop my job due to overburdening. 

I just feel like I want to continue my job because at least the over hectic routine in my job anesthetize my mind.

When I'm doing a rough task which requires large energy,

I feel better such as washing the plate harshly or shaking the milkshake bottle hardly or carried heavy tank and suddenly put it down on a surface.

I feel like I'm releasing stress by that way,

I prefer to perform 'backstage' tasks rather than serving customer at the front desk.

I feel like I'm living in a hustle and bustle of working life for nothing.

I'm just wasting my time and struggling from worries.

Tonight,

gonna sleep early and tomorrow gotcha wake up in the early morning and rush for another two assignments.

Hi stressful life and bid-bye tonight, tomorrow gonna be an empty life again!