Good Friday

by Unknown - 5:50 pm

Last night was a big real Good Friday,

I was hanging out with a big bunch of friends regardless of the unprepared assignments.

The invitation was heading to 'Red Square' - the most hectic club :X

Initially,

my instantaneous reaction was 'Oh gosh! Club? I dont involve, I am not club taste.' :X

But the playful Kevin keep brainwash me,

he said

'Go la... Good Friday they got celebration. Ask Carol and Chloe come along. Assignments due date tomorrow what... Come lah haiya...'

I was like -.- !

During clubbing,

I was like really bored,

really do not know what to do,

but still treat with courtesy, entertained as usual :)

Apparently,

I danced, shaked and high a little bit,

Grabbed some mad photos which virtually seems high,

but in fact I wasn't high at all,

but if I were in the green mood, the scenario would be the worst to the end.

~~(Regardless my gentle look)~~

Most people asked

'Did you drank?'

My answer is

'Yes! I drank !'

But a glass of apple juice, feel sigh right?

Obviously,

That's how good girl behaved :X

Recently,

I have quite many outing invitations and assignments to go,

hence it resulted me in a stressful situation.

Last night, I was really exhausted after went back home from clubbing.

After that,

I chit-chat an hour of Viber call with beloved.

Before my bedtime around 2am,

I thought my trauma did almost recovered and act like I am a wiseacre,

I thought I could fall asleep even I do not take the tranquilizer.

Formerly,

I am a stubborn person who refused to take medication at all,

but after that, I've figured out by my own,

I think of medicine make me better even its bitter.

who knows my ~~'testing'~~ stubbornness lead me fallen asleep at 7 a.m morning.

Due to the absence of the tranquilizer in my brain, my brain could not rest at all,

I was hypervigilance throughout the night :(

I slept at 7 a.m in the morning and woke up at 12 p.m !

The solid reason that woken my sleeping brain : Oh Ya! Sociology assignment due date tonight!

Certainly,

my brain just that full of flowing unavoidable activities.

I wasn't over-excited and cause sleepless.

But I am just too stressful of my life experience,

I keep having the authentic flashbacks that already gone in few years ago,

the merely one short flashback could obsessively repeated for a couple of hours; interrupted my brain resting activity and drive me mad.

Just a moment ago,
Sociology assignment was done and submitted,
I never give myself a sigh of relieve but still think that I have too much unsolvable thoughts to think.
I pondered
'Why the combination of the flashbacks brought me today?'
'Why add math incident happened?'
'Why the real reason that she wants do did that to me?'
'She really doesn't have any explanation to me yet?'
'Why she wants to kills me? What's her intention?'
'Kill? Is she a bad people?'
'Why she told lies behind me?'
'Is she really a bad people?'
'Why she wanted treat me that way? Weird.'
'Why after add math incident, she still behaved the same way?'
'Why she just couldn't learn from that experience, dont beat me anymore?'
'Prior to a couple of days I left Malaysia, Why she beaten me until that stage? her real intention is unwilling me to forget the past so only she beat me?'
'Or she is thinking since I get better already so she afraid me to forget the past? So only she thinks to brought me to even worst?'
'She unwilling to let me forget her? What she is thinking?'
'She doesn't wants me to forgive her so only she beaten me?'
'Or she wanted to create a new trauma for me?'
'Or the reason she hits me because she wants me to suffer and having the recurring Add Math flashback?'
'She wants me to relate the add math incident when she beats me?'
'What she is thinking?'