Nightmare reccurred

Last night, I didn't go to Pn Lye's house,

but somehow I experienced a scary nightmare again,

I dreamed of Lye Chuin Li very fierce :(

I dreamed of I passed by her house without disturb; she rushed out her house with a very long cane,

she wants to attack me! She looked at me very fierce!

When I began to run away, coincidence, a lorry passed by,

I straight jumped up onto the loaded lorry and moves along.

When Lye Chuin Li saw I jumped up onto the moving lorry,

she quickly ran into her MBM 8490 car and began to tailgating,

at that time,

I was really afraid, I keep crying on the lorry,

because I felt the overwhelming dilemma,

I don't know where the lorry is going but at the same time I dare not go down the lorry due to afraid of lye chuin li.

When the lorry reached the Petronas traffic light,

the lorry stopped down due to red traffic light.

At that moment,

I cried even louder because lye chuin li keep on used cane hit her car windscreen to implied me to come down from the lorry.

When I shook my head to tell her I dont dare to come down,

she straight came down from her car with the very long cane (the cane which Pn Lye used during add math day).

When I think of she wants to attack me like add math day,

I straight yelled and crawled through the lorry window; from the place I stand to the front seat.

When I crawled into the lorry,

so surprisingly as well as frightening,

the person who driving the lorry is my driver who molested me when I was 12 years old,

at that time when I saw his face,

he was smiling to me as usual as how he smiled to me in past,

but I felt more overwhelming and embarrass to confront him than confront Pn Lye,

I don't know why, I just had that kind of feeling when face-to-face look at him.

Vividly recalled (in the real world),

this year February before I back to Australia,

daddy brought us one family to Wazen Japanese Restaurant for dinner,

when I stand at the entrance door of the restaurant while waiting daddy to come in,

I suddenly saw his silhouette came out from a Mercerdez,

a very suddenly,

he shake hand with daddy and said

'Selamat Tahun Baru Cina Datuk.'

Daddy shake hand with him as usual with a smile.

After that shake hand,

he suddenly turned his head to me and smiled,

I don't know why my first instantaneous reaction was evade,

I straight turned over my head 180 degree with head down,

after around 5 seconds,

I quickly walked in the restaurant and grab my seat.

When daddy came in,

daddy was shocked,

he asked me

'Ah Ching! Why you cried until like that? What happened?'

I answered

'When I saw that driver, I suddenly feel I am so stupid, yesterday Pn Lye beaten me until like that, today saw him some more! Why my life messed up by these two people? Why I cant live better and safer? Why I always live in suffering from past to current?'

Daddy said

'This one right? Last time molested you ones... I fired him already... Amat right?'

I said

'I dont know what's his name, I just remembered this face.'

When I cried getting agitated,

daddy said

'Hao Liao Hao liao.... mama they all almost reach, dont let them see you cry. Quickly used tissue wipe away your tears...'

I said

'How I going not to cry? Yesterday Pn Lye just beat me until like that, today saw him again, I felt like I since young until big, no one day never injured, never suffered, when I was young, I thought after the molestation, nobody will sexually assault me any more because I already grown up, but I never think of when I get into secondary school, I will met Pn Lye this person in my life, another kind of new incident that I never met before, she everyday caned me in school, one day if caned more then caned two three times, if caned less then one day once, and once I faced is faced few years, and from that secondary school few years until now few years. I let her caned like that at least got 6 years already... Caned until everyday need to eat medicine only can sleep.... If all these molestation and abuse never accumulate, I no need everyday eat medicine already...'

When daddy looked at my rolling tears and fresh bruises on my entire body,

daddy's eyes even turned red because of too touching,

of course, daddy is a man,

he dare not let me see he roll down his men's tears,

he quickly took out his handkerchief and rubbed off his tears that shed in his eyes,

when I saw daddy almost cry out,

I quickly stopped crying as not to let him roll down his tears.

Anyway,

I hope Pn Lye and Lye Chuin Li don't create add math incident for me any more.

We one family really suffered a lot as no one parent want to see their own child caused major hurt by others.

Just like what mommy said,

she said

'Pn Lye own self is a mother, I hope she knew my feeling, if her daughter let other people beat until like that and beat for so many years, what's her feeling?'

I even answered mommy

'Pn Lye dont care ones, because Pn Lye's person is very selfish ones, she only think of herself, she think she can beat other people's child anyway as she likes, but if other people beat her child she dont likes ones, she will angry ones. Because she feel she is rugi, I think if other people beat her child, she sure wants to hit back that person, if not she will keep on complain here complain there and cannot keep her mouth shut.'