Same damn thing

Same damn thing happened again,

innocence is the only substance in my body which I could blame myself,

why I just failed to recognized he is the psycho as the previous one I met?

Their only differences are one is sadist, while another one is sex pervert !

Holy crap!

Why I just failed to spot the second one is the entire same category as the first one?

They have had common symptoms as each other,

told lies without conscience, harming, threatening, spreading rumors behind people.

He is just like Pn Lye,

he could told whatever lies to others just to established his own happiness in order to harm someone :(

Besides, he harmed someone without apparent reason!

He, supposed to be this girl - Aileen Goh Sui Ling,

initially, I thought he was a girl as his profile picture is a girl,

he is a faker account, he used a girl's picture all the page in FACEBOOK,

he claimed that he is Hung Kiat's friend and I trusted him,

he initiated sex topic with me,

and I thought he was just asking randomly and purely wanted to know,

so I just replied him in a black and white way,

In the first place,

he (she) told me that Hung Kiat showed his private part to him,

before I know he is a boy and all were lies,

I really angry of Hung Kiat because think he betrayed of me; showed his private part to this Aileen!

I felt like this action is a very wrong doing to me;

is like the feeling of betrayal, behind of me played with other girl.

Before I know it wasn't a truth,

I still scolded him like hell in the beginning,

I said

'I never think of my indulgent to you is a sort of self-betrayal, I really never think of the freedom I gave you would turn into mess up with other girl. I give you freedom, let you go model shooting, you mess up with other girl. Because I trusted you wholly in my heart, you told me every photographers admired of you because curious why I am the only girlfriend would allowed own boyfriend shoot other girls? I really dont know why would became like this? I think maybe I am overly look upon both of us, damn trusted you.'

sounds like he still don't know anything,

he said

'What? Clar what thing? I really dont know what are you talking about? You say who say I showed her my private part you tell me, I really never.'

I said

'I really cant imagine you are worst till this stage, did this kind of thing behind me still refused to admit and still act well like dont know anything.'

He said

'I really never, Clar, who say me like that?'

I said

'Who also you need to asked me? Seems like you are used to doing it and did until you cant remember who you did to!'

After that,

he logged in my account silently and viewed my message,

subsequently about 20 minutes,

hk phoned me and said

'Clar, I really saw your message with Aileen, she simply said ones, I really dont know who is she, she keeps on sent her boobs to me and I ignored her, then I dont know how come she go and find you and told you like that. But I really never.'

I said

'You think I am stupid? You refused to give me your password because scared I know mah, avoid the conversation with her from me mah....'

He said

'No Clar, I really never. I never give you my password because she keeps on sent me her boobs, I scared you saw it and mistaken me, that is why I never give you my password, because I deleted her boobs photos already she keep sending me again and again.'

I said

'You no need bluffed me lah, if you never contact with her, how come she will knew we never have sex before?'

He said

'She asked me ones, she asked me I got sex with you before or not? Then I said no. How I know things would became like this? She said like this to gained your trust and harmed me ones, because when she first tell you that you dont have sex with me, then you sure curious how she knew, then she said I told him everything already. Then gained your trust and harmed me behind. I really never send him my private part lah, please Clar.'

I said

'You no need to bluffed lah, my friend also said its possible you did, Evelyn told me that time  you at Australia, you go and asked Eric that why he never shoot model? Then Eric answered you: Because I only shoot weddings events and never shoot model ones, then you still can answered Eric: I only shoot models because can see leng loi mah... To be frankly, I really regretted asked you go shoot model and dont shoot insects all those... i really never think of you would became like that.'

He said

'No, I just joked with Eric only, laugh laugh talked only, but I really loved you Clar. I really never show private part to her... you asked her show the private part I send her to you as prove.'

I said

'Heng! This kind of words also you can say??!! You can act till like you really never like that, still can say asked her to show me as prove! You really very bad errrrr!!! Can pretended like that ! Now I really dont want talk to you any more. We just break off, since your heart no longer with me, feelings had fade, there is no point to stick together any more. Since we are so far apart, we are standing at different world now. Start from today onwards, dont call me any more.'

*I straight hang up the phone after said like that

At that time,
I still cannot trust Hung Kiat,

because too suspicious and everything it's too sudden.

Evelyn said Hung Kiat claimed himself shoot model because can see pretty girls.

I phoned mommy; cried and said

'That Hung Kiat, messed with other girl outside, I really cant imagine, he always shoot flowers and insects, I asked him go and shoot pretty girls, now he betrayed me, got one girl facebook message me said hung kiat sent his private part to her.'

Mommy said

'Impossible lah, I think is that girl harmed hung kiat ones, hung kiat impossible will do like that ones, Hung Kiat is really loves you ones.'

I said

'No, is real, that girl own self knew I never have sex with Hung Kiat, she said hung kiat told him ones, if hung kiat never tell him then how she knows? Hung Kiat clearly got showed her picture, he still flatly said never.'

Mommy said

'I think is maybe Hung Kiat really got told her that he never have sex with you, but that girl used his words to gained your trust and let you believed Hung Kiat really got chat with her, and harmed hung kiat.'

I said 

'But hung kiat also dont have any problem with her, why she wants to harmed hung kiat? Some more if he really didn't do, why people would said?'

Mommy said

'I can confirm hung kiat really never do, you should trust hung kiat, hung kiat is really loves you, mommy knew Hung Kiat's person, is a very very good person, he wont do that.'

I said

'Will, hung kiat stupid stupid ones, the girl asked him to show then he showed, last time hung kiat told me, when form 1, his friend yap wai seng asked him to show private part to him (exchange show), then he really showed to his friend and his friend showed him back.'

Mommy said

'That one is man and man different, man and man play play never mind.'

I said

'But Hung Kiat really will ones, he stupid stupid ones, people asked him do what he just do ones.'

Mommy said

'Impossible lah! Nobody will show own private part to others ones lah... that girl bluffed you ones.'

I said

'You know? That hung kiat clearly got, still can act like never, he still said asked that girl show me picture as prove!'

Mommy said

'Yes lah! True! Ask her show as prove lah! Hung Kiat is right! So, from this perspective show that Hung Kiat really never, if Hung Kiat really got, how dare he asked you to asked the girl to show as prove?'

*After mommy said like that only I slightly believed Hung Kiat.

I said

'Hung Kiat really never?'

Mommy said

'Never, Hung Kiat is a very good person, you see, he purposely go Australia take care of you, every night fed you medicine, washed your clothes, washed your plates, washed your toilet, cooked for you, everything do for you, go where find such a good person? So Hung Kiat is really loves you, he wont do that ones. Plus normal people wont show own private part to others ones, she bluffed you ones.'

I said

'But hung kiat very stupid ones, the girl asked her to show, then he just showed.'

Mommy said

'No la, Hung Kiat where got stupid? Hung Kiat is a very smart person, if he stupid, how he going to do business alone? You see, he so young, just 21 years old only can handle big business and go MBMB meeting some more, not easy... must got business minded; clever to talk and negotiate in front of big shots.'

I said

'then why he always stupid stupid ones? Everything also did for me?'

Mommy said

'Because he too loves you already, that's why he everything also listened to you and did for you, but he where got go and listened others and did for others? But only you, because he is only loves you, but not stupid. This is not stupid, Ching. Stupid means listen everyone and do for everyone, but hk where got?'

I agreed; stop crying and said

'Hmmmmm....'

Mommy said

'Ching guai... everything must cool down, dont straight believed people and mistaken Hung Kiat, Hung Kiat will be very sad after he heard like this.'

After hang up the phone call with mommy,

hung Kiat called me again,

I told him

'Ok lah, I trusted you lah, mommy said you never also.'

He said

'Anah, I really never, this girl crazy ones, she keep on sent her boobs to me, I think she simply sent google images to me and bluffed me its her boobs... then I never care her, she go and find you. And I already saw the conversation between you and her, I think very obvious she is a boy. And this is bian tai lai de....'

I said

'Why?'

He said

'Because girl wont talk about sex till so detail ones... only boy will like this ones...'

I said

'Then when she chat to you, you never aware she is boy?'

He said

'No, when she chat with me, still normal than chat with you. Maybe from the way she chat to you, she felt you are too innocent or not normal only she very opened till every questions also dare to asked already... She just sent me boobs photos only and she said its her boobs, and she bluffed me she dont have boyfriend but told you she got boyfriend.'

Yesterday,

had an usual high tea with Chloe at Hilton again,

Chloe asked me

'Eh! Why I saw Hung Kiat's facebook status suddenly so aggressive? What happened?'

I said

'Oh no la, got one girl bluffed me said hung kiat showed his private part to him, I believed and very angry, I felt hung kiat betrayed me like that.'

She said

'Where? Showed me.'

After that,

I showed my phone to Chloe and said

'Nah! Read this whole conversation, now I go and add hot water.'

After I came back from adding hot water,

Chloe said

'Walao! This is bian tai lai de leh... and very obvious she is a boy, faker account.'

I said

'Eh! Why you said the same thing as Hung Kiat? Hung Kiat also said he is a boy and is bian tai lai de....'

Chloe even said

'Walao! You want faced how many bian tai only you can wake up and recognized? One Pn Lye you still not enough ah? You want me to slap clear you or not? Haha!'

I laughed and said

'Haha! I really dont know, I thought she just asked me the questions she wants to know only, then I just answered.'

Chloe even laughed while scrolling my phone,

she said

'Hahahaha! Walao! You still can chat with him till so long without recognizing he is bian tai....'

I said

'Because normally people hi to me or start chatting with me, I wont reply ones, but this time, he told me he is hung kiat friend only I replied him. So I never face such problem in facebook before, So i dont know.'

She said

'Facebook always like this ones leh, got a lot bian tai ones, once you see they initiate sex topics with you then you can stop reply them already.'

I said

'I never think of that, I just think he is hung kiat friend then never think so far.'

She said

'OMG! You too innocent already, funny! She asked you why you dont want have sex? You still can replied her so straight, because I very scared. Zha Dao! Laughed till my stomach ache! Hahaha!'

I said

'I told my mom, my mom also said she is bian tai... and I posted the conversation between she and me in blog, Christina read it also said its bian tai... why only I am the one who cant recognize?'

She said

'Ya la! Very common sense ok? Once normal people read it will automatic perceive his behavior as bian tai, maybe he can sense you are abnormal or too innocent so he take you as target, like asked till very shuang like that.'

I said

'But how can say he is pervert? We just chat only... but never send any materials....'

She said

'Bian Tai is like that ones, as long as the topic or contents are there, they already very shuang... They get excited through even asking and seeing conversational responses.'

I said

'But very weird leh this person... you see he still can give immediate response, bluffed me said her boyfriend got stucked with tai yi long, owe money, and let her become the prostitute... if she is boy, she can so fast think of like that and bluffed me meh?'

She said

'You must know pervert very smart ones, and their mind are all full of sexual imagination, so they can straight create out fake story any time.'

I said

'Hua! But very fast leh, imagine I typed something then he can straight typed out such a long story as fake story, then he not very smart?'

She said

'Crazy one this people!'

I said

'You mean he is orang gila? He really got gila ones ah?'

She said

'No lah, I think he just bian tai only dont have crazy, you see the way he talked still very logic even its bluffed ones. Hahaha! So can see out he is not crazy. His mental still very clear about the logic sequence.'

I said

'Anoh! Pn Lye also can like that ones! Like when talking in a conversation, people talked one sentence, she can straight bluffed in a next sentence without preparation. Last time I forgot what we talked already, she said my sister told her something about me, then she said my sister go in her house and told hung kiat my sis used her house computer and showed her facebook status all those. Even its bluffed, but her lies all got logic sequence ones, is like start from my sis intention to my sis action. Means she said my sis want to show her facebook status as intention and my sis used her computer and showed her as my sis action.'

Chloe said

'Anah! They this kind of psycho very smart in telling lies ones, because they already used to already, I believed this person is a very experienced cyber pervert, they specially aimed at innocent people and seek sexual content from innocent person. This person is the pervert of the pervert, too bian tai already.'

I said

'Why?'
She said

'The thing she asked and said lah. You see still say what vagina, and say pinkish dick. The most funny you still can replied what is dick hahaha! And asked her what is ejaculation and tell her your English not good! Hahaha! But seriously, this is nothing to do with your English, the only problem is you too innocent already that is why you dont know all these words.'

I said

'Anah! Because he typed very fast and I cannot catch his meaning he already typed next thing.'

Chloe even laughed and said

'Very obvious you cannot catch his meaning! Hahahaha! zha dao! He told you that hk cannot stand for so long, you still can replied him that hk go shopping with you can stand for very long! I really dont know what to say you! But only can laughed only! Hahahaha!'

I said

'But Hung Kiat said he chat to me more abnormal only, he said when he chat to hk, just sent boobs photos only and never asked him much about sex.'

Chloe said

'Because this kind of psycho very smart, through the way you talked, they can sense you are what kind of people - innocent, normal, abnormal, matured. So when you see the way you replied like abnormal, he also everything dare to asked already... his bian tai is asked question to gained excited...'

I said

'But why I never noticed?'

Chloe said

'Very obvious, you see, you keep replied her you dont want, you very scared all those, they just like this kind of black and white reply.'

I said

'how I know him? He keep asked me the same question then I just answered him the same thing only. He keep saying want to teach me and show me, then I just keep reply him I dont want and I very scared only. Because I already told you many times I dont want and very scared, he still asked for the same question so I just replied again the same question.'

She said

'Next time when you see this kind of sex question, you dont care them, facebook a lot ones... I seen a lot of times already.'

I said

'Eh! You think only I faced this kind of problem or everyone who played facebook also will received ones?'

She said

'Mostly people who are pretty only....'

I said

'Oh... I normally received stranger boy hi to me then I ignored... but this time different, because I thought he is a girl and is hung kiat friend, more trusted.'

She said

'That is why I said this is extraordinary case, because this person is smarter, he know if he used boy's identity to hi to you, you wont reply him.

I said

'After hk saw my conversation, he also said is a faker account, and is a boy... not girl... why ah?'

She said

'When she chat to you, very obvious, you see at the top part, he said he only like girls... because he is a boy mah that is why he only like girls, at the last part, he told you if got any girls please intro to him, very obvious he is a boy only he wants you intro girls to him. But you too innocent already, I knew your pattern everything also reply ok and never think far ones. Haha!'

I said

'Haha! Anah! Everyone also said the same thing that I always only replied the word ok.

This person is a very toxic person,

he did bad things without think twice,

heard from Hung Kiat,

Hung Kiat said he simply get a nude picture from online and claimed it was Jocelyn's boobs,

send the boob pictures to everyone (Jocelyn's friends) and claimed that Jocelyn shoot nude photos.

Jocelyn told him it's not her, but he flatly said it's hers.

This is what I felt that he behaved the exactly same way as Pn Lye,

they lied or denied despite the obvious facts were in front of their eyes.

I recalled last time Datin told me that Pn Lye clearly knew it wasn't me the one who spoiled the TV in guard house,

previously I told her it's not me,

she said

'Yes, its you, everyone knew its you and I knew its you.'

After that only Datin told me she knew not me; but her mouth flatly said its me in front of me.

So from this perspective,

when Hung kiat told me about this same behavior which between Jocelyn and this person,

I straight recalled of another psychopath (Pn Lye),

who entirely behaved the same damn thing as him, but only in different story.
And this person (Aileen),

he is really really bad,

Jocelyn did nothing to him; dont know him at all,

he still can get a boob picture from online and still can told Jocelyn in face that it's hers;

 claimed that she shoot nude photos and going to show the pictures to all of her friends.

Besides,

still told lies unconsciously to me and claimed that Hung Kiat showed private part photo to him to spoiled our relationship,

Hung Kiat said he do not know this person but this person harmed him without any reason.

Now,

I had ultimately grasp the poisonous of being a psychopath that toxic others is their pure pleasure,

they just harm someone without apparent reason, exactly like Pn Lye.

I helped her cut paper; she claimed the cutter its mine and harmed me.

I went her house did nothing, she beaten me terribly, in addition claimed I was theft.

she cast a dark shadow to me; caned me 40-50 times and told everyone it was my father's masterpiece.

This is what I would said how her unconscious lies came from;

she can't feel that how toxic and inhumane are her lies,

from points above,

she just lied it everywhere unconsciously without thinking of reputation of innocent person, the successful lies of her will only substitute by her thin secret smiles.

Many a little makes a mickle,

all these bits and pieces dark shadow towards psychopath had shaped my phobia today,

I am damn afraid of this person now,

I quickly blocked him but afraid he overcome me at any time,

I don't know whether it's the factor of previous phobia or what,

I keep worrying of this person will find me chat on another day or send me any threatening messages any time,

I am afraid this person will act like Pn Lye,

think I am afraid of him then only blocked him,

I afraid if he thinks I am afraid of him then he will overcome me (asked me sexual topics) once he found out I am afraid of him.

Lord,

is it just a trauma from add math incident or I really need to very aware of these psychopaths?

I had the same thinking now,

I am thinking that I can't stop going Pn Lye's house,

because once I stop going means she thinks I am afraid of her,

and when she thinks I am afraid of her,

she will overcome me (caned me like add math incident) again.

Yet,

I have this strong and persistent belief that I cannot let psychopath think I am afraid of them,

if they think I afraid of them,

then they will repeat their previous actions to me.

Lye Chuin Li told me that I hold a weird thinking,

to be frankly, I don't know whether this thinking is truly weird or not weird at all.

But Jesus,

I really walked till the end that I don't know how to protect myself any more.

Maybe,

the way I protect myself is a harm to myself as well.

I really don't know how to deal with this psychopath,

to blocked or not to blocked?

Tell me what to do to kill all the psychos in the world?

I felt the world is so sicked now :(

What is the building block to established the psychopathy or illnesses of human being?

Till now, after the incident of Pn Lye,

I still can't recognized psycho at all, get trapped again!

Even obvious till 4 people once they saw the conversation,

the first thing they told me it's psycho, the same response for four,

only me, still can replied him for so long and don't know anything :(

Maybe,

this is what Hung Kiat described me last time,

He told me

'NO matter how many times you read the psychopath symptoms online about Pn Lye, the next day she treated you the same thing, and you will still act like the same you again, forgot everything what you had read on previous night and cannot recognized her psychopathic behaviours.'

Yet,

everything happened entirely correct as what Hung Kiat said.

I still cannot recognized them...