Nightmares still haunted me

For some reasons,

we clearly had compromised and I've persuaded myself that she is forgiven,

but unexpectedly nightmares still haunted me in the midnight.

I hatred nightmares so much,

it always awakened me at the time when I am not supposed to wake up,

it's so annoying to affect my schooling mood as it always siphoned off my energy for the next day.

The most terrible,

nightmares always made me overwhelmed, get startled, exhaled loudly and sitting on the bed.

I am so helpless at times because nobody is going to save me as I staying alone.

And the stupid nightmares always force me awakened :(

In fact,

I am easily traumatized or get frighten by nightmares because I do believe in exaggerating events, myths, monsters and even her 'unbelievable' actions.

I am the one who don't like to sleep because I'm actually avoid the fear of nightmares and I don't hope to wake up for the same fear.

It's really unreasonable, I don't know why I still have had nightmares about her and her daughter,

majority of the dreams composed about attacking or chasing,

I don't really know whether she has the same dream as me or not,

the one always lives in fear of attacking or frightening with scary living thing or non-living thing.

However, I will think twice before opening a gift which received from her,

kaima even laughed at me and said

'Nahhhh you see the present flat flat ones where got cockroach? Or you scared inside got dog? The dog so big, the present so small.... impossible lah.... hahahaha!'

Perhaps,

I always run from what I feel and that's why I have nightmares.

Even though if she is not going to harm me,

I would still thinking that she has plan behind to achieve her goals,

I don't want be trapped, I don't want be hurt, I don't want be cheated and I don't want be harmed.

I'm outta of this trauma so I purely want a peaceful mind or tranquil life,

I don't mind compromised but I need 'safety' promise.

I afraid this 'apology' will be her way of defence mechanism,

I'm afraid she is going to harm me in future; I am really really afraid of injured one more time.

*At times, I could even felt pain in my dream :(

Due to the certain deep down fear,

my mind wasn't cool down and my sleep wasn't peaceful,

I have the sense of being attacked one more time as well as a sense of being harmed in the future,

I trusted nightmares and at times I might mistakenly think that its real or it going to happen,

because the fact is nightmares isn't outside of logic and I have had real nightmares that it really happened in the real life, such as she pulled me into her house and attacked me with Junior.

And, I truly believed that nightmares follow me like a shadow and it will be forever.