Luckily its a dream

Luckily,

I am so glad to recognized today's dream.

Sometimes,

I am really confused between dreams and reality as nothing is impossible.

Just a moment ago,

had a sugar nap in the afternoon after the exhausting winter class.

When I got back to home,

the first thing,

had a quick lunch and straight hopped on to bed till the evening.

Indeed,

my life is hectic and tiring; assignments and house chores are killing me at the same time.

Truthfully,

despite I've took pills but still dream of her and having uncertain nightmares. 

Daddy mummy said these days I did think too much about everything; daddy does realized I stopped my pills even I did not tell him.

I don't really know whether my dad is a super intelligent dad or I am too obvious?

Recently,

perhaps I am being confronting the process of growing pain.

I keep foresee and thinking too far in my future,

I think of my future careers, future partners and future family then flatly cried too much;

daddy and mummy claimed that regarding my age; I am thinking too far away.

He keep telling me in the phone

'You how old only? Why think until so far? Those things still got a lot and a lot of years to be happen.'

Somehow,

I don't really know people who same age with me have the same experience or feeling as me or not?

I just feel like future is so scary and worrying,

I can't get a peaceful nights for these days.

Besides,

I keep thinking people are possible to harm me, included my darling.

I even cried in the phone and told daddy I've separated with Hung Kiat.

Daddy asked me 

'Why?'

I said

'Because I scared he will harms me in the future, I scared he will fails in business and rely me to survive in the future.'

Daddy said

'Regarding your age, you think until too too too far already. That one maybe when you reach 30 years old, at that time you come to discuss with me and I will talk to you, but now, you only 21 years old. Havent come out work also, those things you no need go and think ones...'

I continued cried in the phone and said

'Dont know... I just feel like I have too much things to worried. I keep thinking people around me are possible to harm me, then I feel like everyone around me keep telling me or implying me that I am too kind and innocent, people will find me as target, used of me or harm me at any time. Then when I think of that Ada, my friends around me told me before she stay with me, she is not like that ones... completely a different person, then they said she see me sha sha... used of my money and think of rely me... and also asked me do everything..... and also asked me pay her rentals and bonds some more.'

Daddy said

'Then you got paid her bonds?'

I said

'No...'

Daddy said

'Ah No then correct already lo... nothing already lo... why still thinking of that?'

I said

'Because I worried in my future... still got a lot of people wants to used me... think me very stupid then used of me and harm me.... I also know I very stupid, but I already tried not to be so kind to outsiders... but after I bear in mind that I dont be too kind to outsiders, after few days, I forgot already. Then my stupidity start again and forget dont treat people so good.'

Daddy said

'If got anything, you not sure ones... you can straight SMS papa... papa will tell you what to do... so people wont take advantages of you... Just like you not sure want to return bonds to your friend or not? You SMS papa, papa will tell you. Then you just follow what papa tell you, nobody can harm you.'

I said

'But I still think I very stupid, my friends all said I too stupid already because use my own pocket money pay her bonds and rentals... they tell me I can go and buy other things, why want to give her my pocket money?'

Daddy said

'Exactly true... then you dont give her, everything is fine.... now nothing d lo... she already move out...'

I said

'But initially, I still want to give her ones... because she told me she no money already....'

Daddy said

'Ah Ching... papa tell you.... for example, you only have RM100, impossible you will use that RM100 pay people RM200... because you use what money to pay that person if you dont have so much money?'

I said

'Yes yes yes! Chin yean also told me like that... she said own self dont have enough money already then dont help people... she said even got so much money also dont waste on other people....'

Daddy said

'Exactly true! If that person dont have money, she own self will go and find money ones what... you go and worried her for what?'

I said

'I dont know whether I worry other people too much or what? Chin Yean also told me the same thing, she asked me dont worry of Hung kiat's future too much, he said because that is his future, he will worry his own self... so I no need go and care him so much.'

Daddy said

'Yes! You no need go and care people so much ones... their problems they will settle ones... your friend no money not go and work for part time job or get money from her parents lo... what for you go and worry she no money?'

I said

'I knew... I always tell myself, ok la i dont care edi la... that is other people business they will settle their own... but I dont know why when I go out, I forgot edi... I pass by any shops that are hiring workers, I will automatic walked in that shop and get the jobs for my friend...'

Daddy said

'You no need go and care your friend ones.... she no money she wont go and find money for her self ah? Want to get money from you meh? Where can like that ones? If you found the job, you no need introduce to her... you straight work yourself la...'

I said

'Yes yes yes! Chin Yean also said like that... she said if I found the jobs... I go and work myself, dont let her... because she said if she really need a job, she sure will go and find ones...'

Daddy said

'Exactly... that is why I said you listen to papa, everything wont be wrong. So you no need think so much or worry people so much already....'

I said

'I dunno... I still will think of people harming me... I also think of Pn Lye wants to harm me when I go back Malaysia... because I knew Pn Lye never shift house already...'

Daddy said

'You no need go and care she will shift house or not? That is not important...'

I said

'Is important.. If she still stay there how if next time she harms me and beat me some more? I keep think of how if next time no lucky already, how if hung kiat never come? How if no accidentally let Hung Kiat heard our conversation in the phone? How if you all dunno she beat me? How if she beat me until die? How if she kills me? I keep thinking nobody can protect me in the future....(Then cried even louder)'

Daddy even asked me

'Ok.... these days you still got take pills or not?'

I said

'I got skipped few days because the medicine almost finish...'

Daddy said

'Told you d! You cannot skipped ones... if almost finish already, then you should quickly go and get the new ones already, dont wait until finish like last time... we dont want post express to you already...'

I even very agitated and said

'Why you scold me? I said havent finish also! Is almost finish but havent finish!'

Daddy said

'I never scold you, I just tell you.... I said dont like last time, ku ku ti ti said the appointment need to wait one month lah... cant get medicine la... dont everything last minute... because we need to post express very troublesome ones... because your medicine Malaysia dont have also, need to import to Malaysia few days only can export to Australia... if straight get is very very expensive ones... some more those drugs, pass through customs very troublesome ones...'

(Mama's pattern)

I said

'Then why last time 5 days reached already?'

Papa said

'Because that time you still eating David Yeoh Medicine... that one I asked mama go hospital buy and post to you ones... now you eating Australia medicine... papa friend, that pharmacist boss said the medicine you eating now, Malaysia dont have... if want, need to import order ones... and is very very expensive... one bottle few hundreds dollars... and import already still have to export to you... too troublesome edi...'

Somehow,

I dont really know I am thinking too much again?

I am glad that I recognized it's dream instead of reality.

Guessed what I nightmares in this afternoon?

I thought should be a sugar nap rather than a bitter nap?

I dreamed of Pn Lye took flower pot threw my head !

And luckily I recognized it's dream because when I woke up,

my head never break !

And in my dream,

I dreamed of she took flower pot threw my head,

my head never break but her flower pot break!

After she threw the flower pot on my head,

then I very painful and quickly ran away from her,

and she keep chasing me while I running away from her.

When I woke up, I told Hung Kiat,

he non stop laughed at me,

he said

'Hahahaha! Your head never break, but the flower pot break, your head made of metal?'

I said

'You think this dream possible or not?'

He said

'A bit too exaggerating.'

I said

'Why? Dont u think she will do like that?'

He said

'No la... used flower pot got a bit too exaggerating.'

I said

'You see that time chinese new year she also can used wood stick what to say flower pot?'

He said

'Dunno... I still think impossible... because flower pot too hard already...'

I said

'You think flower pot and wood which one is more serious?'

He said

'Wood is already very serious, but flower pot far beyond serious than wood.'

I said

'why? Not the same meh?'

He said

'Flower pot is like brick like that... imagine she used brick to throw your head...'

I said

'U think impossible?'

He said

'Hahaha! Is harder to imagine... but I still think wont until use flower pot la... because flower pot is very dangerous...'

I said

'Then wood not dangerous?'

He said

'Wood also dangerous la... but not until the same level like flower pot...'

I said

'Then last time she used knife leh? Knife not the most dangerous ones?'

He said

'Anah.... knife is the most dangerous ones... actually cannot use knife to point people ones....'

I said

'Why?'

He said

'Anah... later if you accidentally cut how? If she not purposely cut also people will think she purposely cut... and also, if use knife cut till other people, will jail ones... And I think she like that means use dangerous object to threaten people.... can be charge if let other people know...'

I said

'What threaten? She really want to kill leh... she got cut my hand... but at that time, my hand dont dare to move, but I very scared in heart, because I scared if my hand move, then my hand will got friction with the edge of knife, then will blooded.'

He said

'Anah... cannot move ones... cannot knife very sharp... if you move a bit sure being cut ones...'

I said

'And she also got cut my hair using the silver rectangular mincing knife... the chop meat ones...'

He said

'I knew... i can imagine that type of knife... my house also got...'

I said

'My Malaysia house also got... but now I stay alone, I never buy, because that silver rectangular mincing knife too big already... I scared cut until my fingers... so I one big chicken straight throw into the pressure cooker and cook as soup....'

He even laughed and said

'HAHAHAHAHA!!! Where got people like that ones?? Funny! Must cut ones... you throw like that will ripe meh?

I said

'Dunno... maybe never ripe also I eat ones...'

He even laughed and said

'hahahaha! Can imagine you lo... dont care dont care type ones...'

I said

'Just now I told my mum I dreamed of pn lye took flower pot threw my head... I asked my mum you think pn lye really will like that ones or not? My mum also said wont...'

He said

'Anah wont la... because too exaggerating already... I think ur person is because she always threatened you by saying everything, sometimes say this sometimes say that so you are like everything also thought is real...'

I said

'I asked my mum how u know Pn Lye wont throw like that to me? Then my mum said because Pn Lye already said she wont beat me to my father... then I still very scared... I said but Hung Kiat said  sure is bluffed you all ones... still will beat ones.... then my mum said: Wont la... say already means wont beat anymore...'

Hung Kiat said

'Hmmmm... I think beat still dare la... used flower pot throw that one too over already....'

I said

'You mean pn lye still will beat me even she already told my dad wont beat?'

He said

'I think will la... but I think maybe dont beat too obvious that type...'

I said

'You mean pn lye is bluffing my father?'

He said

'Anah... I think pn lye's person always like to Po people ones... is like ok la last time la... or ok la sorry la next time wont beat any more... something like that type ones...'

I said

'How you know? I dont know now I want to trust who... my mum or you? Both of you say different things...'

He said

'You think your mum or me is more understand Pn Lye?'

I laughed and said

'hahaha! You think you understand pn lye more than my mum?'

He said

'Anah...'

I said

'But I think the frequency you see Pn Lye or talked to Pn Lye is same of the frequency as my mum... means both of you are equally... not very often talked to her... you see you talked to her at her house how many times only?'

He said

'Yes, I not often talked to her, but I heard the ways you talked to me about her, described just now pn lye how how how, I agak agak can knew her personality... plus a few times interactions with me, so I understand her a lot. But your mum only see her few times? Plus you very seldom tell your mum about her... so how your mum can know her pattern?'

I said

'You mean you know Pn Lye's pattern by the way I told you about her?'

He said

'Anah... mostly impression are created by how others described ones.. like for example, you never go that restaurant before but I told you eh that restaurant seafood is the best... everything sedap... so even you never go that restaurant before, you will know that restaurant seafood... you know what I mean? Means you always tell me just now pn lye how how how... so even I never see her also I can predict what she will do...'

I said

'So can you tell me now, if next time I go her house again, what will she does? Whether she will harm me again or no?'

He said

'I guess she wont come out that type, but will use leg step on the floor that type...'

I said

'You mean she will behave like me? When get angry, keep kicking or use leg step on floor that type?'

He even laughed very loud and said

'Hahahaha! I not that meaning la... I mean her leg step on floor is shoo you away that type... not like you that type... funny!'

I said

'But her leg got step on floor like that to shoo me away before meh? How you know she will like that?'

He said

'I guessed la... based on her pattern... I think she will used leg step on floor and shoo you away that type... because when I at her house... her reaction made me feel like she will do that....'

I said

'Or she got used leg step on floor to shoo you before? So you will said she will like that?'

He said

'Hahaha! Of course she never did like that to me before... but I mean through her reaction... the way she talked to me... and her character... can imagine she like that.... just like when the time she talked to me, felt like among 10 sentences blurt out from her mouth, 10 sentences are not good ones... so can knew her person is very negative type or bad type ones...'

I said

'How to say her words 10 sentence, 10 sentence also not good?'

He said

'Just like for example, she will said ni yao wo shen mer shen mer mah? Means use threaten instead of encouraging or advice people... so can know her heart is not good type ones...'

I said

'For example how she threaten you? Why you said can know her heart is not good type ones?'

He said

'The way she talked lo... like no one sentence is good ones... like she said you want me go tell Datuk about you how how how or not? Or you want me go tell her to break off with you or not? From the way she talked lo... can knew her xing di bu hao that type ones... good person wont talk like that ones...'

I said

'Then normally how good person talk ones?'

He said

'Good person ah? Like Ah Keong lo... he will said: You go back and tell her nicely... past is past... blah blah blah..... or I teach you how to tell her... or willing to understand other people situation... like want to help people that type ones instead of threaten or say not good things ones...'

I said

'Hahaha how Ah Keong helped me?'

He said

'I told him add math day lo... then he can understand whats the reason u come... he said you do like that is trauma... and he said trauma will upgrade ones...'

I said

'Siao ah that Ah Keong? I where got upgrade? I still think myself get better already....'

He said

'I dunno... he said u getting serious day by day.... he said when you first come not so serious ones...'

I said

'Then he said me how I getting serious?'

He said

'He never say how you getting serious, he just said trauma will become serious ones...'

I said

'Some more what Ah Keong said me?'

He said

'Ah Keong said after I told him like that, he can understand your situation already... he said because Pn Lye never tell him so much about why you come...'

I said

'Some more what you said?'

He said

'I told Ah keong that pn lye very guo fen lo... I said : she come here also you all know you never do anything ones mah... not say will destroy that teacher's house... then that teacher beat you until like that.... then I said add math day one time already, now another time some more... '

I said

'Then what Ah Keong said?'

He said

'Ah Keong is like ng ng ng like that lo... like agree voice....'

I said

'You think her neighbour know I wont harm or destroy ones?'

He said

'Knew la... u come so many times edi, if want to destroy anything, sure got things spoiled at the first few days u came... everybody sure is first time second time nothing edi then third times onward wont care already.... because they knew you are play play type wont do harmful things ones...'

I said

'You mean their neighbour?'

He said

'Anah... you see her left hand side neighbour where got care ones?... because they knew even u come also wont harm ones... That one is real kind person.... if you got do any harmful things or do any threaten to their environment sure the neighbours go report police ones mah... but you see so long edi where got people care you? Just Pn Lye care only...'

I said

'Or you think Pn lye is angry?'

He said

'Pi La ! you never spoil her anything what to angry? Unless you break her things then make her waste money and buy again that thing, that one angry is of course.... but you where got spoil anything?'

i said

'Yes yes yes! My father last time also told me before... he said the lawyer asked him I got spoiled anything or not? Then my father said never and ever... then the lawyer said why she never do anything that teacher wants to beat her? Then my father said the lawyer said like that can be charge under intentionally assaulting... but u think pn lye is really intentionally?'

He said

'What is intentionally?'

I said

'Intentionally means purposely.... Gu Yi...'

He said

'Of course is gu yi la... because where got people beat other people with no reason ones? You never spoil her things, but she beat you, not purposely then is what?'

I said

'You think she never angry also want to beat me?'

He said

'Ok la... tell you a truth la... another reason I think she is purposely is because that day when she is beating you, I heard both of your conversation from the phone... her voice sounds not angry at all.... so that is why I think she is not angry at all, but still beat you.'

I said

'But I think is angry leh.... keep beating not means angry?'

He said

'That is why I tell you she pretend angry in front of you,  and make you think she is angry so only she got chance to beat you... just like add math day, if she never pretend angry in front of you, she got chance to beat you meh?'

I said

'But I heard her voice is really angry when beating me leh...'

He said

'No lo... I third party witness, I heard from the phone, the voice she talked is normal only... like normal talking only... so I think is you thought she angry only, but she never angry, and also she has no reason to angry. You never do anything, impossible she got any reasons to angry.'

I said

'Then you think why I always said that Pn Lye very angry?'

He said

'Because she beat you mah... she beat you make you think she is angry, but her emotions can be act out... because impossible she shows happy emotions when beating you... if she shows happy emotions, you not thinking why this Pn Lye weird weird ones? Beat people why so happy? So she not show you angry face when beating you lo... so I think you person is judge others emotion by face but not reason.'

I said

'Anoh! Everyone also said me like that... my friend's mother also told me like that.... she said from the way I talked, she can knew my person dunno what other people is thinking ones... she said I can only see people's external but not inner. she said I cannot read people's mind...'

He said

'Anah! Your person very obvious will give people that kind of sense... just like when pn lye and you, two persons together only, no me around.... is very dangerous... because the things u said is not as what you think... just like you said you saw she is very angry, but when I witness from the phone, I think the truth is not like that, means her voice is not angry at all. So I think she used appearance to cheat you, means your person people can cheat you easily by apparently.'

I said

'Yes yes yes! You totally said the same thing as my friend's mum... she said people can cheat me easily because I cant read people's mind... she said I cant get to see the bad side of one's person... means I will think this person very very good, but in fact, that person is not that good, that person is hiding his bad appearance in front of me, but I dont know... That Auntie said me like that... And my father got also said me like that before... when I told my dad that pn lye how how how... I said that pn lye wants to kills me all that... then my father said: No la... the fact is not as what you think... then I said: Real ones... then he said: You think like that only, but in real case, the fact is not like that...'

He said

'Anah.... I also feel your person like that ones... I think maybe is her face act like very angry in front of you, then you thought she is angry, but the facts is not like that... because the fact is she has no reason to angry... normal people will think that way... and through the way you talked and through the way you described about Pn Lye, I can knew... because you always said Pn Lye very angry, jumped and attacked all those... but I think she is pretend angry to you ones... and also even I not always contact with her, but I can sense or predict what things she will do to you...'

I said

'Now I can a little bit understand what you mean... just like she never chase me before, but I always dreamed of she chased me... or can imagine she chased me... even one of the time, I keep telling Emily about pn lye... Emily even said I harm her dreamed of Pn Lye at night... she said she dreamed of Pn lye took cane chased her at form 4 block....'

He said

'Anah... not necessarily she must do only she will like that... sure can agak agak know her pattern ones what...'

I said

'hahaha! You think why her pattern can let people know she will chase?'

He said

'Maybe her person is aggressive type lo... so people got that type of impression towards her...'

I said

'You mean mostly aggressive people will chase people ones?'

He said

'Anah! Because aggressive means will move will run will jump that type mah...'

I said

'Maybe lo... Chin Yean said the way I scold people is very aggressive... she said my person is like once get angry, my mouth is like machine gun tutututututu that type ones... and she said from the way I typed message until so long also can knew my person is aggressive type ones... she said because the message convert to my words is also equal to scolding non stop..... and last time when I sitting on the GBS bench waiting my driver comes and fetch me, I heard the office clerk told another clerk about me... she said: Dia ni ada aggressive punya....'

(Chin yean said the way I sent message so long is like machine gun scolding people, she said my words instead my mouth to speak... very aggressive.)

Hung Kiat said

'Why you dont straight phone and tell her? You send message not type very long?'

I said

'Got la... I phoned and scolded her... she said she dun understand what I am talking about because she keep saying I talk too fast edi, she cant listen me... then I already repeated twice already, she still said I talked too fast and cant hear me, then I hang up the call and scolded her in message. I said my message write in black and write very clearly already, dun say dont understand some more.'

He said

'hahaha! I think she not dun understand what u scold lo... I think she searching excuses... let u scold until like that then she speechless already, then she said she dunno what are u talking about haha.'

I said

'Ya la... after I hang up the call... Jerry also said she pretended ones... she said because I scolded her until she speechless edi, so she very paiseh then she pretend said she dun understand me... and finding excuse said I talked too fast... because she asked me to repeat what I said... and I already repeated second times... impossible she wants me to repeat for the third times... Jerry said when I scolded her in phone, he sitting in front of me also he understand... what to say Ada is the litigant... Jerry also said my person read people's mind... he said she tell you she dun understand you also sha sha go and send her message once again... she said she dun understand what are u talking about not because she dun really understand is because she is speechless, so she told you that way to avoid her shamefulness.'

Hung Kiat said

'Then the clerks said you very aggressive, like that also you can overheard?'

I said

'She talked in front of me only... I sitting on the bench, she said like that at the marble table..'

He said

'No manners! How can say people in front?'

I said

'Hahaha... maybe she think me dont care, so just say in front of me only... but I memang dont care ones... because a lot of people also said me aggressive, and I also agreed I am aggressive, because he said aggressive means will move will run will jump that type ones... For example when I go shopping, when I impatience to walk from a shop to another shop, I will run to that place ones... and when I get angry, I will keep jumping on ground ones... so you say people who will run will jump ones mostly aggressive ones... so I admit I am aggressive.'

He even laughed at me very loud and said

'HAHAHAHA! I think your this situation is hyperactive, not aggressive!'

I said

'Hyperactive means aggressive la... not same meh?'

He said

'Hahaha! I think is interrelated, but not all hyperactive are aggressive.. I think the meaning of aggressive is will attack people that type... like Pn Lye will attack means aggressive... '

I said

'Then my father will also beat people means aggressive?'

He said

'Haha considered la...'

I said

'But my father's person very quiet ones oh?'

He said

'Quiet people also will aggressive ones... who also can be aggressive, aggressive is depends on personality ones... anyone also can be aggressive, never say quiet or noisy ones....'

I said

'Then you think I got aggressive?'
He said

'I think yours is hyperactive lo... not aggressive... you see Pn Lye beat you, you also never beat her back, means not aggressive edi....'

I said

'Then you think why Chin Yean said my person once get angry, scold like machine gun means aggressive?'

He said

'Anah... aggressive got a lot of types... yours is verbal aggressive... can use mouth scold very fast that type... but you are not physical aggressive, means wont attack people that type....'

I said

'Then can considered I am aggressive also lo... regardless of what aggressive type I am....'

He said

'hahaha maybe a bit lo... I think hyperactive people more or less sure got aggressive ones la... because hyperactive means fast type ones... so scold people also very fast....'

Frankly speaking,

I felt like I am so often chased by her or robbers.

I always dreamed of someone rushed into my house and used scary object chased me,

such as use knife or use iron chased me,

or I would always dreamed of Pn Lye used dangerous weapon chased me,

such as used her dogs or cane chased me or use dangerous object threw me.

I even dreamed of she used arrow shoot me from far away, and I am running away from her arrow.

I don't really know why I always dreamed of being chased or being attack by her inescapably.

Thereby,

I go checked google the dream's interpretation.

http://dreamstop.com/chase-dreams/

In the chase dream you are on the defensive trying to evade being caught by the pursuer in your dream. You may try to simply outwit you pursuer or you may try to get away by running.  The standard feelings that one gets in the chase or flee dream is a feeling of insecurity, anxiety, being out of control, and fear.

The common interpretation for the chase dream is that you are being told by your subconscious that there is an issue or person that you have been trying to avoid. In the chase dream your pursuer matters for the meaning. If you are being chased by someone you know it could be that you fear the individual exposing something about you to others or discovering something personal. Being chased by an animal will have a different meaning than being chased by a person.

The person who is chasing you in the dream may also be a certain aspect or characteristic of yourself. If you have feelings of fear, anger, jealousy, or hate, they can often manifest themselves as a threat in a dream. The figure in your dream could also represent characteristics or feelings that you have chosen to reject.

Dreaming about being chased may mean that you are trying to avoid something painful, uneasy or fearful of something. These feelings in the real world can often be expressed in a person’s subconscious through the act of dreaming about it. People who don’t like to confront situations in the real world and run away from their problem may have a chase or fleeing dream. It is always important to ask yourself what you are running from in the dream.

If you happen to be the one pursing another person in the dream it has whole different meaning. This could mean that you are driven to go after a specific goal or person. In Freudian context it could mean you are sexual pursing this person, expression your deep desire for them. Chasing something in a dream could also mean that you are falling behind in your life and trying to catch up before it gets away from you.

The specific distance between you and your pursuer may also be relevant in the context of your dream. If the person is gaining distance on you, it could represent the problem not going away unless you deal with it head on. This might require you to confront the specific issue and address it head on. Conversely, if you are able to outrun the pursuer, it could mean that the problem can resolve itself and will fade over time.

There are also some people who have the chase dream for fear of being physically attacked in the real world. Women in particular may have a chase dream for fear of being attacked by a man or stranger. If you always see the news and media continually show images of rape and abuse, these things can often manifest themselves in a dream. To resolve this issue you might want to consider rationalizing these fears and ask yourself if they are warranted. Many people have many irrational fears due to the amount of television and news they watch on a weekly basis.

It's really so accurate,

it wrote chased by a person who I knew means afraid of that person, fears, anxieties, anger, hate and insecurities. 

I felt like I had all those feeling towards her.

And it claimed that being chased by a person that I knew means afraid that person exposing my personal things,

yeah! 

I always think she would simply tell others my weakness;

such as tell Hung Kiat's father I am hyperactive.

And certainly,

she did and that's already over.

But I would think there is more and more people she is gonna tell.

Or I will think of she will tells others

'That one very stupid one, can used of her easily.'