stress gone

Another 30 minutes more,

public relations class will be starting soon,

I'm playing desserts shop game right now in the library,

so unwilling to go to class,

but still have had to go, 

I knew my job is being a student and to attend class as well as be puncture.

Curfew of playing game will be stop after 30 minutes.

These few days,

my mood began to turned better without apparent reason,

perhaps daddy solved my worries :)

Mummy always gives me a lot of stress even I'm still a student,

awhile told me that I used a lot of money, awhile ask me find intership, awhile ask me find job, awhile ask me apply PR and so on.

Feel like I couldn't handle my assignment and exam well at the same time under her stress,

she made me so overwhelmed,

when I got crazyyy and over stressed,

I even go and find an internship program which cost $4300 aussie dollar in China,

daddy told me that I am thinking too much and creating worries for myself.

He said

'Dont worry about those what internship, if your course dont have internship, no need work, just study enough. Why you go and find those unnecessary internship?'

I said

'I scared I will be unemployed after my graduation.'

Daddy said

'Dont worry! Papa got a lot of friends, you want work in what field also got, I can get in for you. Papa outside all are friends, what yous cared?'

I said

'Then got advertising?'

Daddy said

'Got! A lot !'

I said

'Some more?'

He said

'A lot lah... papa got a lot of friends, you want pr also got, advertising also got, media also got, architecture also got, law also got, accounting also got... even if you want engineering also got! So dont worry too much, no need think about job, just study enough. The job of a student is to study, nothing else.'

After daddy get rid my insecure,

my worries all gone and feel so carefree, 

my mood became extremely good,

when doing assignment also became more productive,

and my thinking about Pn Lye all became more positive too.

I guessed this is the factors of stress.

Indeed,

I guessed mummy is giving me too much of unnecessary stress,

yesterday when I doing a health research for my assignment,

I read up the research showed that long term back pain or shoulder pain came from excessive of worries and stress,

and it wrote that it has no way to cure unless stress gone.

Subsequently,

when I recalled my back pain properly,

I really felt that some of my back pain ease although it's not fully recover,

at least my shoulder is not that burden any more and I feel my wing is lighter,

breathing chance became more circulating and get to breath more easily compared to last time.

In addition,

Sherryn keep persuading me the truth that Pn Lye is not going to harm me,

and the result showed that Pn Lye really didn't harm me on that day.

Thus,

I'm starting to trust Pn Lye now that she isn't harmful any more.

So,

all these added up bits and pieces make my insecure, fears and worries gone.

But the truth is that I don't really know whether I'm relying Sherryn's persuasion to survive?

I feel like I need her to keep telling me 'No Pn Lye wont harm you' repeatedly to make me safe,

and I feel like I start to rely her as habit.

Seems like I need to find someone to replace her duty,

but I knew that person definitely won't be Hung Kiat any more,

because I knew he's using my insecure to make me go back to him.

Sorry, I wouldn't be back to him any more.

This is what I had promised myself.