The dubious promise

These days,

I am really anxious for insignificant affairs because I am coming back,

I am dubious about will she really keep promise and shift her house?

Just asked Hung Kiat about that whether will she shift house or bluffed me?

Hung Kiat said it's very hard to predict as she could bought a car out of suddenly,

hk said shift house can be shift any time too.

But after I hang up the phone call with hk,

I was thinking

'Eiiiii? This year she bought a new car, next year she shift house, regarding her income, government wont go and inspect her about income tax? It's impossible she never think of this! Dont tell me she bluffed me ones??!!'

Another critical question that I began to anxious now is will she keep promise and don't come out?

This is the actual factor that why I wanted to buy a good car immediately,

because I really need a good shelter to protect me,

I don't want a lousy kenari like last time,

the back door can't even lock at all even already sent to workshop repaired for several times!

Holy crap! That is an old car for 10 years ago!

How can it still be used?

Anyhow,

please granted me a car which at least $100K above to offer me an excellent door!

I don't expect a Mercerdez or BMW,

at least has a good door and good wind shield !

That's it ! I didn't expect much!

If she really will keep promise,

really will shift her house within the next two year,

I am okay with that,

since the next year December I come back will be the last year she still staying there.

I willing to use tolerance solve this lifetime problem,

after next year December,

she is no longer staying at there any more,

peace has finally landed on me,

daddy and mommy ultimately can put down the big stone in their hearts that I won't being wounded any more.

They would like to see a physical healthy daughter instead of a full-body wounded daughter.

The dubious promise really made me insecure for these days,

I am getting afraid of I will being hurt once again.

Instead of her real actions,

 tones of nightmares had dominated my current life,

I felt like I am more afraid of nightmares than the actual her,

I tend to afraid what had happened in my dream would really appear in the real world,

since I dreamed of a bandit tried to shoot me with gun at the backstreet of her house,

I began to avoid the backstreet and really afraid when I go to the back,

the bandit will really appear along the backstreet.

Since that nightmare,

I dare not go to the backstreet any more,

 I will repetitively thinking that there is the same bandit helding gun and awaiting me behind,

and when I recalled pl said

'Ok you dare to go? Tikus coming from there!'

Then I could somehow automatically heard the real mice sound in my mind,

Chut chut chut chut like that....

it was the real mice sound from that real night !

Frankly speaking,

I don't really know whether I am actually having delusion or it's the real sound on that night?

I really heard the authentic mice sound in my ear,

but when I began to look at my surrounding,

there is no mice at all yet I still heard the super ultra-vivid sounds which I heard on that cny night.

Clar ah Clar,

you really feel so lost within yourself.

Can you sort out your mind?

Try to differentiate about what is in the dream and reality and calm down yourself in every insecure scenario!

Who had told you those bad dreams will happen in your real world?

Can you look forward the reality and try to have more sense of secure within yourself?