These two blogs

http://raining-princess.blogspot.com/ appeared to be very optimistic now,

posted funny videos to served as self amusement,

laughing out loud by myself in front of computer while rewind back those silly videos.

But,

http://trauma-of-seventeen.blogspot.com/ appeared like a dying blog,

weeping is the main composition of that entire blog.

Happy seems like an impossible emotion in that blog.
Well,

the way to cure a trauma is to laugh more as laughing is the best medicine :)

I tried a lot and poured out my effort to be live in joyous,

but I will felt that I am somehow unreal or so emotional superficial,

apparently unmatched as my inner.

My inner appeared as depressed but outer appeared as an entire opposite thing.

I think this isn't the real me :(

But the problem is I don't want let people know I am sad or being traumatized in past,

I want people perceived me as a normal, sporting, optimistic and happy person who gives a lot of laughter and fun. 

It has been a month had lost contact with the blog of Emily due to the serious business,

http://www.chasing-merry-go-round-dream.blogspot.com/

just read Emily's blog in a moment ago,

saw the full scrolling page of sorrowful and pathetic words that expressed her real inner,

and realized that people who being hurt has had the similar 'symptom',

both of us are on the same boat right now,

mine goes to Pn Lye, hers goes to Randy,

we were writing the same sorrowful things throughout the whole blog,

despite what is the hurt; what kind of past relationship.

As long as someone is being hurt by relationship,

the way they behaved would be the same.

Yet,

both of us have been revolved in past,

everyday or every few days we will write about our past; the particular party and the date of event.

Ultimately,

Emily had grown up and now she grasp what I had gone through and what's my feeling,

in past,

she used to said me

'Clar, because one Pn Lye, you could became lost of rationality, everyday never forget about her; think about her and write her in your blog.'

Now,

she is going through the same thing with me,

she began to everyday or every few days wrote about Randy,

never forget him, tightly recalled of the date of breakup,

wrote about their past,

wrote about very depressed and optimistic sentences to expressed her thoughts in relationship.

The most importantly,

her blog is already 100% about pure Randy and nothing else.

Same here, me too!

My blog is 80% ABOUT PN LYE!

Only 20% about my very little happiness.

I don't know why we would turn from a very innocent person to a very annoying person,

it's time to sit down have a cup of coffee; pouring out as much sugar as I could into it, chit-chat to the person who sit in front of me about what we had gone through and relax ourself on a cushion.