Nightmare

After she chased me out on that Tuesday,

I am seriously experienced a few nightmarish nights till now.

I just suddenly felt like I am dealing with old Lye Chuin Li instead of her,

she totally became lye chuin li already :(

she knocked the cane on ground and rushed towards me,

my whole mind is blanked and thought it was Lye Chuin Li.

She said
'Jerry bite bite bite! Reap flesh blood and tear the meat!'
I thought this is Lye Chuin Li's favourite quotation instead of her.

Yesterday,
I still dreamed of Lye Chuin Li due to that nightmarish Tuesday night.

I dreamed of I went her house and again (without disturb),

Pn Lye straight rushed out with cane!

When I quickly ran away,

she shouted

'You dare to run you dare to run??!! You run means my dog chased, if you never run means it ignored. Har you dare??!!'

Hence,

to avoid her dog chased, I just stopped down my footsteps. 

When she is getting approached me,

she took her cane and knocked on ground 3 times,

tok tok tok like that !

When I am trying to run away again,

she straight quickly used her left hand catch me and dont let me run away and used her right hand phoned Lye Chuin Li !

At the moment when I am struggling from she caught my hand,

Lye Chuin Li picked up the phone then Pn Lye said

'Hello Sherron, she came already.'

*Then Lye Chuin Li said : I want to talk to her.

Then Pn Lye said

'Ok Sherron want to talk to you... die!'

*Then she straight put the phone at my ear.

I straight stepped her leg; struggled and said 

'I dont want ! I very scared !'

That Pn lye even told Lye Chuin Li in phone said

'Sherron she stepped my leg, you see you see!'

I said

'You let go me first!'

She said

'You listen first!'

I said

'You let go me first!'

She said

'I said you listen the phone first!'

I said

'I dont want! I very scared!'

She straight said in phone

'Ok Sherron she said she dont want listen!'

Who knows that Lye Chuin Li even get furious and shouted in the phone

'I said listen! You want to listen or not?? 1... 2....'

*Before she said 3, I quickly listened and said what??!!

Then she said

'You dare to come?? You want my mum and me beat you until die??'

I said

'Dont want'

*Then quickly pressed red color to hang up the phone call.

After I hang up the call for around 30 seconds,

Pn Lye even looked at the phone and said

'Die! She called ambulance already... you see... she SMS me like that... I already call ambulance come and catch her, who asked her hang up my call....  send her to mental hospital... Hah die!'

I said

'I knew you bluffed me! You simply read!'

She said

'I never bluffed! You see! She sent me like that... nah....'

*She even showed me her phone as prove of texts

Within 1 minute,

the MBY 9000 ambulance even reached her house!

At that time,

I even cried very loud; tears non stop rolling, keep on kicking for the sake of refused people catch me up to the ambulance.

*Cry in the picture

Due to my strong struggling,

no one could catch me or carried me away.

Who knows that Pn Lye even told them (ambulance rescue)

'Saya ni kuat! I boleh ambil dia! Dulu saya buat getah punya!'

*When she said like that, I straight wanted to carried me into ambulance, she used her both hands carried me from behind, is like straight catch my whole body from behind.

However,

I did not recognized its a nightmare until Hung Kiat embrace me tightly from beside to stopped my struggling in the nightmare.

Another reason that I didn't recognized its a dream due to its too real since Lye Chuin li always count 1 2 3 when asked me to do thing,

and she always knocked cane on surface when she is coming toward me!

At that moment I struggled from Pn lye caught me into the ambulance,

its actually Hung Kiat embraced me that way to calm me down from nightmare.

LOL!

When I woke up,

 I even saw its actually hung kiat's hand put that way to restrict me to move instead of Pn Lye caught me from behind.

Honestly,

 his calming action move me and made me took a picture silently as attachment.

In fact,

he is a reliable man who provides me secure all the way,

whenever I feel afraid, he will does that to protect me.

Whenever his hand put that way,

my deep down will abandoned the insecure and sleep peacefully.

One of the time,

he asked me

'Why when you sleep you must clenched fist; curled up your body and sleep like a baby?'

I said

'Dont know... used to already... because I scared got people suddenly attacked me when I am sleeping, so I clenched fist will make me not that painful than never clenched. And I curled up my body and sleep like baby because I felt like curled up my body is like got preparation to pain like that... means when people beat you, you curled up your body is not that painful than free your body like that....'

He said

'Oh I can imagined that situation, I knew what are you saying, I think your person is insecure person.... so you even sleep also very scared... must prepared before you sleep.... then I just put my hand like that and wrapped your body when you sleep, so you no need to scared already.'

Indeed,

when he put my hand and wrapped over my body,

I felt like there is an extra protection over me or there is an extra roof on top of me,

is like the feeling when people suddenly attack me when I am sleeping,

I wouldn't be that painful because there is an extra hand or extra protection lie on top me.

I am currently watching the drama of "爱情女仆",

At the moment when he protected me this way, put his hand this way when I am sleeping,

I will suddenly recalled I am somehow same like the background of the drama story,

one of the main actress in the movie  is actually experienced the same situation as me,

she came from a rich family since young, she is the only child in the family,

since young,

her father been busy working and left her at home everyday.

When she needs secure due to get bullied in school,

her father doesn't knows and ignored the problem due to too busy in work.

When she grown up into an adult,

she fallen in love to the guy who protected her when she get bullied,

the man later fallen in love with another woman - Liu Shu Qi,

then this lady can't accept this fact that the man left her,

she became crazy by slowly and later she is brought to the doctor by her father,

the doctor diagnosed her as anxiety disorder which caused by overly insecure,

the doctor's suggestion is asked her father to protect her more and spent more time with her to discharge the insecurity within her.

When the father approached her and tell her don't worry daddy is with you,

she even pulled her father away and said

'Since young when I need you, you never with me, busy in working, now only the man could protect me and give me everything. I only want the man, I dont want you because you cant do anything.'

The father became furious towards this guy,

his father thinking that her daughter illness is basically caused by this man and started hatred this man.

He felt that this man replaced and took away of his care in his daughter's heart.

Thus,

at the moment Hung Kiat protected me this way,

I suddenly recalled till this movie in the midnight and relate the story to my life,

I think actually its so true, we have been experienced the same thing.

Vividly recalled,

when daddy asked me

'Why that driver touch you in the first place, you dont want early early tell me?'

I even answered him

'Because I know if tell you also you cannot do anything. You will just ignored and continue busy your things, you sure said hao liao hao liao then continue make your phone call to talk about your job things.'

Indeed,

one of the reason that I fallen in love with Hung kiat is because I think that he is the one who could give me anything and protect me at any time.

I recalled of last time Pn Lye caned me in photocopied room,

only Hung Kiat saw the scene,

its because he is the one who watching me every single moment instead of my father.

When Pn Lye caned me at her house,

only Hung Kiat came out and saved me instead of my father.

When I cried due to sadness,

it's Hung Kiat the one who gave me comfort, pat my back and stop me from crying instead of my father.

When I want anything which I can't get from my parents,

I just opened my mouth and Hung Kiat is the only one who could supply me.

I will even think that for an instance,

 Hung Kiat could set alarm and wake me up at any time but my parents can't,

because they need to work.

Thus,

I am considered the indifferent child at home who rarely speak and want things from my parents when compared to other siblings,

when they wanted something,

they will asked from my parents and said

'Pa... I want this' or 'Ma... I want that...'

But I am the child who rarely asked things from them and said

'Hung Kiat, I want that....'

When we went shopping,

Huay Ling and Huay Li always said 

'Ma... I want this... this pretty.'

I am the one who sit aside and wait them shopping,

because I know my needs is always ignored by my parents.

When I said

'Ma... I want durian ice cream.'

then she would definitely answered me

'Da jie want peppermint, Ah Zern want red bean... Durian dont want... nobody wants...'

This negligible words would slowly told me that I am not important in my parent's heart,

my importance or my needs are always neglected.

When I selected a dress in a boutique and asked mummy to buy for me,

she will said

'Da Jie said not nice...'

or

'Er Jie said another site is cheaper...'

Very obviously without her self consciousness,

she is actually just focus on the taste of other child instead of me.

By slowly,

I am being left out in the family and turned to an indifferent child who always don't care about others and live in my own world.

By gradually,

I start to tell my parents excitedly

'Hung Kiat coming Australia find me during this holidays!'

instead of

'Can you come and find me during this holidays?'

Besides,

I do observed mommy got a strong sense of jealousy,

when I said Hung Kiat is good,

then she will get jealous and said

'Your father is better than Hung Kiat, your father send you to Australia study. So expensive!'

From this perspective,

my parents always do think money equal to love,

is like the saying of I sent you to Australia study = I love you,

but do they think before how if I say

'You think your money is big? I can ask Hung Kiat to return the money to you when I am graduate, then means Hung Kiat loves me more than you already?'

Hung Kiat is a very reliable and good man,

he always said he wants to return daddy's money when he earns his first salary when he holds his father business,

if I came from poor family,

then mommy could say that

'See! Your father sacrifice and sent you to Australia study. He earned RM 3K per month and sacrifice so many years monthly salary to you.'

But now,

 it's different saying because all of us are rich,

even Hung Kiat can make it too,

if he holds his father's business,

he could pay my school fees by his own too,

he earned few hundred thousands dollar per year,

 I don't think withdraw a RM100K+ per year is difficult.

It's actually just like 1/8 of his annual salary.

For daddy's ability,
it's far more beyond easier than Hung Kiat.
He earned a few millions per project and my 3 years duration of study is just not even one million of his profit earned,
let say one year he earned few millions, my annual living cost plus tuition fees all added up is only RM 100K plus.
So within 5 millions, 1 hundred thousand is just like 1/50. Understand??!!
Daddy told me he earned more but our family living cost is high because 7 family members,
I told hung kiat that daddy said like this.
He told me
'Family living cost no matter how high also never high till where ones... the most give him RM10K per month.... You see you all always go that WAZEN japanese restaurant eat... one month simply eat also the most RM 1K only... still got RM 9K to spend... besides than eat, still got electricity and water only... impossible your house electricity and water RM 9K per month mah... so I said living cost high also never high till where ones...'
I said
'Ok then let say my father annual income as 5 Million because 1 project per year let say.'
He said
'Ah.... let say his living cost the most RM 10K per month... one year only RM120K.... still got 4 millions and 8 hundred thousands... minus your school fees RM160K per year let say... still got 4 Millions and 6 hundred thousands something.... dont say one year 5 million, let say 1 year 1 million already enough.... still got few hundred thousand left....'
I said
'But now economic not good, not many people buy house...'
he said
'No matter economy how not good also still got people will buy ones... just lesser people buy only but sure still got people buy ones....'
I said
'I heard my mum said now bukit beruang project only sold 44 houses only.... got 160 units leh...'
he said
'44 houses already a lot... let say one house RM 300K as average... means your father earned 50% profit, RM 150K per house.'
i said
'My father said their housing development profit is only 15% only....'
He said
'Ah... 15%... let say one house 300K, one house earned 45K.... 45K per unit times 44 units... now he already earned 2 millions.... mai siao siao.... some more now just starting only... when the 160 units sold out, he is going to earn 7.2 millions per project... cha bu duo as what you predict his income lo... 1.5 years earned 7.2 millions.. one year is around he earned 5 millions... still got another project leh... what Kuala...'
I laughed and said
'Hahahaha! You still know Kuala! Funny!'
he said
'Anah! That time you not told me your father bring you go Kuala looked site!'


I said
'Kuala is factory and shop...'
He said
'Factory and shop are even more expensive... at least RM 800K per unit... one unit he can earned 120K per unit if the profit is 15%....'
I said
'So let say if both projects add up, one year at least he got 10 millions....'
I said
'10 millions means 100 wan?'
He said
'No lah... 1 million is bai wan... 10 million is qian wan...'
I said
'Impossible lah! Qian wan!'
He said
'Who said impossible? let say one project 5 millions... 2 projects at least got 10 millions... when his two projects done, he can earned few tenth millions means up to qian wan....'


I said
'Patutlah! That time I disturbed him haha... he told me his bukit beruang project now got crisis because of rain season... then I said aiya so troublesome then just demolish the construction and build other site lah... then he suddenly said very loud : Mei You! I invested a lot of money already!.... hahahaha! Look like very serious like his project going to demolish like that....'
He said
'Anah! I also think that bukit beruang project need a lot of money to invest... siao meh? 1 house already few hundred thousands, what to say 160 houses? That is why when you asked him to demolish and build other places, he so serious hahahaha! Because he is going to lost that qian wan if really demolish.. but I think your father will successful at the end ones... you see so many years already... so many projects crisis also he could passed through... I think this project crisis for him consider normal hardship only...'


Well, back to the point,
thus I just think that sometimes daddy is kinda unwilling to spend on me instead of doesn't has the ability.
So,
rich people is very hard to tell "I really love you" because they have too much money,
Just like Hung Kiat brother currently studying KL international school now,

people would think its a sort of waste of money,

one year RM20K plus like Taylors school fees,

but for his business annual profit,

RM20K is merely a segment of his monthly income.

So I always strongly disagreed that money can replaced love.

If we are making the judgement that my father loves me because he sent me to Australia study,

then ain't that the final meaning refers to if Hung Kiat pay my big amount school fees = Hung Kiat loves me more than my parents?