Revenge

Why Seek Revenge?

• They feel they have been attacked and suffered some unjust loss or injury. As a result they are feeling anger, hate, jealousy, envy, or shame.
• They are humiliated, especially if they are made to feel powerless, foolish, ridiculous, stupid, or ashamed. People seek revenge against the more powerful while they pity the less powerful.
• They feel they have to “defend the honor” of themselves, their family, ancestors, or some other group they identify with.

• Restore their dignity, and increase their pride or stature.
• Restore the “honor” of the offended group by avenging the shame.
• Remember a loved one or ancestor. The slogan “September 11, 2001, we will never forget” is seen frequently and is used to sustain the war on terrorism. War memorials serve a similar purpose. In contrast, consider how the Amish people of Nickels Mines Pennsylvania reacted after five of their children were senselessly murdered. They razed the schoolhouse where the tragedy occurred to remove the most prominent symbol of the tragedy and leave a quiet pasture in its place. Their goal is to forgive and move on.
• Teach a lesson to the aggressor,
• Punish people who cheat and break rules; ensure they learn their lesson.
• Act as a deterrent to predatory behavior,
• Obtain acknowledgement from the aggressor that they were wrong and they feel remorse,
• Obtain a sincere apology and know the aggressor is remorseful,
• Demonstrate their power so they no longer feel powerless,
• Obtain reparations; get paid back for their losses, and settle the score
• Make the aggressor suffer and feel their pain,
• Transform themselves from prey to predator, from powerless to powerful, and from shamed to proud,
• Tell their side of the story; set the record straight from their point of view.