Will she change

In this lonely afternoon,

think a lot about pn lye again.

Began to surf internet to know more about her,

the first question I wanted to know is would she changed?

Thus,

I asked Google

'Will psychopath change?'

It came out result below...

Many people believe that psychopaths can change. Usually, it is the people who love a psychopath (sociopath) and who desperately cling to this idea. And, usually, they know very little about psychopathy itself.

The victims of psychopaths are usually more compassionate than an average human, and more vulnerable. My heart aches for them. To trust people so and to end up meeting the darkest corners of a human soul, I find that very tragic.

On the other hand, I learned not to pity the psychopaths. I have nothing but disgust for them. I would put them all on a secluded island and let them destroy each other. The world would not be perfect without them, but the benefits would be enormous.

Scientist say that psychopaths can’t be changed. That their brain is wired in a wrong way. That almost makes it not their fault that they are heartless. Psychopaths love this idea. They generally hate taking responsibility for their actions.

But we also know for a fact that psychopaths are not mentally disturbed. They are not delusional and they are not stupid. They can easily understand when another living being is being hurt and they could refrain themselves from purposefully inflicting pain on them. If only they wanted to.

Unfortunately, they do not want to. And they don’t want to change a thing about themselves-they are in love with themselves. Not only do they see themselves as great, they believe that they are perfect. Why would anyone want to change that? They see other people as idiots. They do not even hear others, let alone think about the criticisms that some “idiots” expect them to act upon.

But things are not that simple, because sometimes they do exactly what others ask of them. Everything comes down to: what they can gain from others. They pretend to make a compromise to achieve their goal. Once people believe that they are changed, they strike again. Kind of like a mutated virus.

Their true, evil self remains unchanged. It can only be “improved”-they can become better manipulators and regain the trust of their victims.

In his book Without Conscience, Dr. Robert Hare claims that psychopath mellow down with age. They get tired of scamming and manipulating, so to speak. But who wants to wait for decades for these lowlifes to become (or appear to be) decent people?

Don’t ever let yourself be fooled. I know exactly how it might feel: you question yourself as a human being, hate being so cold and distanced, while the psychopath is putting the show of “caring and loving”. Always remind yourself that you are being laughed at behind your back by this monster who values nothing in this life and only looks for ways to satisfy his/her needs. Like a beast. Or a robot. Or a f^%%$ virus.

Indeed,

the answer and elaboration disappoint me :(

I was shocked when I get to read the sentence

'They pretend to make a compromise to achieve their goal. Once people believe that they are changed, they strike again. Kind of like a mutated virus.

When I get to read above sentence,

I straight away recalled till the conversation between hk and her,

hk told me

'Pn Lye said want to be friend can... like you and me...'

At the moment when hk told me that Pn Lye said so,

my heart thinking

'Why this Pn Lye would suddenly said so? She not very hate me? Or she suddenly changed already and became good already?'

When I relate the above statement from Google and from what I thought that she is good previously,

I even think of

'Exactly accurate! Google write like that! Sure she pretend wanted to be friend with me, pretend compromise, then when I think she became good already only she think of compromise, at the moment when I believe her, she strike again ! I cant get cheated by her in this situation.'

Honestly,

sometimes when I feel like wanted to sympathize her,

when I think of she stays alone and quite pity,

then I stopped disturb and keep promise,

I really pass by and did nothing.

But in one day,

she suddenly betrayed me by told daddy that I disturbed in the condition that I did.

My heart and thinking changed,

I think that no matter how I treat her nicely she still would back stabbed me at the back,

it means my effort or goodness to her is always zero,

instead I will only get a stab from her.

Actually,

in this circumstance,

Hung Kiat told me the same thing before,

he said

'Why when your father asked you where she beat you in front of her, you dont want straight say out?'

I said

'Because I think if I keep quiet then she will think I help her then next time she will treat me better and dont beat me.'

Hung kiat even said

'Xiang de mei ! Tell you, you must be harsh and straight forward to deal with this person, I think no matter how you treat her good she wont appreciate ones, as long as there is any benefits to her, she will still harm you ones... Second is she already regard you as a fool, where she got care you injured or not injured? So no matter how good you treat her, you no need expect she will return a good thing to you, in addition, she only return you a bad thing.'

When Hung Kiat said like that,

I even relate till last time Lai Yoke Pin's case,

she asked me helped her cut paper; I did.

But at the end,

when there is a problem,

she back stabbed me and cheated daddy said the cutter is mine.

This is the very unforgettable evidence in my mind till now,

whenever I think of betrayal or her harming action,

this  would always be the first evidence that flowed into my mind.

Then when I get to read this statement,

On the other hand, I learned not to pity the psychopaths. I have nothing but disgust for them. I would put them all on a secluded island and let them destroy each other. The world would not be perfect without them, but the benefits would be enormous.

I even think its so true!

Whenever I began to pity her,

I am the one who always get hurt at the end.

So now,

my sympathy to her is getting nearer to zero.
Yet,

I keep on indoctrinate myself that

'Dont sympathize her because no matter how good I treat her, she wont treat me good in return, but will only make up lies to harm me.'

Last time,

even datin also said the same thing and advice me not to treat Pn Lye good.

Vividly recalled,

I laughed and told datin 

'Funny! I bought chocolate from Spain for my friend, my friend said she never eat chocolate ones... she return to me and asked me give others... I asked her who to give ? She even joked and said: Give pn lye lah! You put in her mailbox and leave a letter and say: Sorry for failed to guard your house for 2 weeks time, chocolates here from dear Ah Clar to compensate my absence... Hahahaha!'

Datin even laughed like hell HAHAHAHA like that and said

'Better dont give ... dont give her... wasted... even you give her also she will harm you ones... but wont treat you good also...'

I said

'Of course I knew lah! Who wants to give her? I go and feed her dog also better than give her! Hahahaha!'

Datin laughed and said

'Hahaha! Luckily you know! Dont give her know? Because very wasted...'

I said

'Anah!  I knew lah... I also think as what you think... I think give her very wasted because even give her, she wont help me but only harm me only... so impossible I will give her, I only give to people who help me... or else, I will give to people who never help me but at least wont harm me ... but I wont give to people who won't help me but in addition harm me some more! Hahaha! Very sui leh... wont help but will harm only...'