Trust
It's not a piece of cake to forget when someone breaks your trust remarkably in past,
especially if you afraid of it might be broken again yet holding onto doubt is a sure-fire way to suffer.
It's really hard to trust someone changed 360 degree,
it's really hard to trust they treat you goodly instead of poisonously as past,
sure enough you will hold 100% doubts within yourself towards them that what's their final motive?
Little hurts worse than the suspicion that someone else might hurt you,
this isn't the kind of thing you can just brush off through positive thinking or once face-to-face apologized,
in addition, the genuine explanation is still unheard.
Hence,
I guessed this might be the perfect reason that I can't make myself feel trusting by telling myself I should be,
or rationalizing away my feelings.
Indeed,
the reality is it takes time and effort to trust again.
It takes the courage to acknowledge how I feel and willingness from her to hear and honor it.
But the fact is I still have not had this courage to acknowledge or to face it.
It takes a mutual commitment to move beyond what had happened instead of reliving and reharshing.
But most importantly,
I think it still requires me to believe in the goodness and positive intentions of the person who hurt me.
Perhaps, just like what I had read in the book of "Little Prisoners" by Casey Walton,
it mentioned
"Love those who hurt you the most, because they are probably the ones closest to you."
When that sentence crossed my mind, that phrase moved me.
She, too, is on a path,
and just like she is learning to walk before she can fly,
I knew everyone deserves a chance to gain trust.
Imagine of everybody you hurt in life turned their backs on you?
You would be playing a hell of a lot of solitaire.
So, love them no matter what.
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